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Publisher's Summary

The revelatory memoir by former "poster girl for Scientology" Michelle LeClair about her defection from the Church, her newly accepted sexual identity, and the lengths to which Scientology went to silence it.

For years, Michelle LeClair, former president of Scientology's international humanitarian organization, tried to reconcile her same-sex attraction with the anti-gay ideology of the church. Michelle finally ends her horrific marriage, finds the love of her life, a woman, and ultimately leaves the Church. But the split comes at a terrible price. Her once pristine reputation is publicly dragged through the mud, the police raid her home, her ex-husband tries to gain full custody of their children, and the multi-million dollar business she built from scratch is utterly destroyed. 

In this tell-all memoir, Michelle offers an insider's perspective on Scientology's pervasive influence, secret rituals, and ruthless practices for keeping members in line. It's a story of self-acceptance, of finding the strength and courage to stand up for your emotional freedom, and of love prevailing.

©2018 Michelle LeClair and Robin Gaby Fisher (P)2018 Penguin Audio

What members say

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The view from the top

I really enjoyed this point of view. I've listened to a lot of books on Scientology, but this one was interesting because it was from the point of view from someone in the Celebrity center. As detailed as Leah Remini's was (and her book was sooo good), it didn't give as many details as to what it was like being in Celebrity status as Michelle did. This was a very interesting listen. I finished it in a day.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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Shocking truth about a Religion and violent acts

This story is not the first time I have heard of Scientology not only brainwashing their members with ridiculous superiority teachings, but also acts of violence and corruption in order to control their members. This was not only criminal by the church of Scientology, but also by our own State of California legal system. It's frightening to know that a cult such as Scientology has the power to ruin someone's life and financial future based on lies and manipulation, all for the sake of their races fanatical teachings. Where is justice here? I believe the Author to be one brave and courageous soul to share this journey with us.
My hope is that the right legal action gets taken against the church of Scientology and that a billion dollar settlement has them rethink their vicious practices. I hope the Author, her family and beloved regain their strength and faith in the goodness of humanity again.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Welcome To Southern California

"I hate the smell of men and the smell of testosterone". But she has three sons, two of them twins she says are a product of rape by a husband she loathed. I wondered how the kids were supposed to overcome that and still be welcomed in the home. But the oldest one checked out early and went to live with his Dad. Probably because he did not want to offend with a manly smell? The writer herself had a mother that was a drifter and she was abandoned for a bit as a toddler. The family dynamic is not a loving one and the writer finds herself in a loveless marriage and states her children are none of them, even the one she adopted, a product of love. There seems to be some sadistic disregard for the burdens these truths might place on the children but they aren't mentioned much after chapter two. The stories about the Church of Scientology begging and abuse of their staff are well told in many places, so they are believable. Except for the part where she says the Church sets her up for major media and legal scandal. Actually, the Church of Scientology is famous for covering up and scandals and if you are a member and you cause one, you are usually expelled. So, impossible for me to believe she lost her professional license and was offered immunity by the D.A. to testify on a partner because the Church and State conspired against her because she was gay. 21 million $ of investor money vanished. Largely I do believe, because of a con man who presented himself as a director. Both partners blame the other of being a criminal by now so who knows? Was the writer taken advantage of? Yes. And anyone that comes into large sums of money rather suddenly, goes through this cycle. You become a target. The L.A. culture is rich here, right up to adopting a child based on race. Hippies exploring the occult, Hollywood film stars and Directors, Bystanders and Sponges. A very interesting story, well written and great narration. I can tell you because I lived there, this is all actually pretty normal for L.A.. Yes, you should buy the book and read it. You will learn something about human nature.

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

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excellent writing. glad she escaped

wow. what courage. I stayed up all night listening. the church is a cult period

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The Damage a Cult Does

I was very interested to listen to this book. I want to thank Michelle for telling her story, not only exposing this awful cult, but also the story of her life which I found fascinating. A lot of people can't understand how anyone can get sucked into what appears on the surface to be a mind controlling and manipulative cult. But the realities of the stories the "survivors" tell are as different as the people that tell them.

I don't know why this cult is so interesting to me. I think it's because I'm political and I cannot stand that they are classified as a religion and are tax exempt. That infuriates me!! I guess I hope the more horror stories that come out about this cult the more political backbone government officials will have to revoke their status as a religion. However it seems clear that this cult has people at all levels of government and they have leverage on the right people to keep their money streams and power in place.

Michelle, I loved listening to your calm clear voice as you told your story. I was rooting for you the entire time I listened to this book. But man I wanted you to STOP giving them more and more money!! Ugh! I'm so happy for you that you and your mother got away. I"m happy that you are living your life on your terms. Again, thank you for sharing your story. It is important for many reasons.

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Amazing!

Such a great book! Keep fighting! Keep getting the truth out there! Awesome book to listen to!

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  • David
  • Rockford, Israel
  • 10-06-18

Amazing story, beautifully written

Michelle LeClair has penned an eye-opening account of the lengths the Church of Scientology will go to dehumanize those who disagree with their doctrines. LeClair has transmuted her pain and suffering by the hands of the cult into a meaningful experience that has served to reveal her true self and spirit.

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Amazing book

I have listened to many books written by Scientology survivors. This book had me on the edge of my seat. Michelle's passion had me rooting for her, feeling sorry for her, crying for her, yelling at her, proud of her and most of all happy for her. Great book.

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Excellent

This book was excellent! The author was totally transparent! I love the fact she didn’t hesitate to put all her cards on the table & to expose all those individuals for their dishonest deceptive practices .

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  • Andi
  • Torrance, CA, United States
  • 09-23-18

Fascinating and enlightening

I am fascinated by cults and scientology in particular so bought this book purely based on the topic. I was therefore surprised to realize that it was so interesting as a story on it's own that I recommend it to anyone wanting to listen to a book about a person who has insight into a difficult and at times traumatic life.