On Earth as It Is on Television

By: Emily Jane

Narrated by: Hayden Bishop

In Emily Jane's rollicking debut, when spaceships arrive and then depart suddenly without a word, the certainty that we are not alone in the universe turns to intense uncertainty as to our place within it.

"Weird and sweet … like a 2020s White Noise: loud and colorful Americana with a sprinkle of apocalyptic doom."—Edgar Cantero

"Heartfelt, witty, and secretly romantic … a delightful and poignant story about what it is to be human, and what we owe each other." —Christina Lauren

Since long before the spaceships' fleeting presence, Blaine has been content to go along with the whims of his supermom wife and half-feral, television-addicted children. But when the kids blithely ponder skinning people to see if they're aliens, and his wife drags them all on a surprise road trip to Disney World, even steady Blaine begins to crack.

Half a continent away, Heather floats in a Malibu pool and watches the massive ships hover overhead. Maybe her life is finally going to start. For her, the arrival heralds a quest to understand herself, her accomplished (and oh-so-annoying) stepfamily, and why she feels so alone in a universe teeming with life.

Suddenly conscious and alert after twenty catatonic years, Oliver struggles to piece together his fragmented, disco-infused memories and make sense of his desire to follow a strange cat on a westward journey.

Embracing the strangeness that is life in the twenty-first century, On Earth as It Is on Television is a rollicking, heartfelt tale of first contact that practically leaps off the planet.

©2023 Emily Jane (P)2023 Hyperion Avenue

Fun and engaging

A fun adventure story that I couldn't put down - nor did I want to. I love wish fulfillment tales and this fits the bill perfectly. A perfect summer read!

Random find, unexpectedly amazing!

First, the performance:

Hayden Bishop gives such a fantastic performance that I'm considering buying other books she's read.

My wife and i listen to audio books nonstop. When we can't find an audio book, we use a text-to-speech reader. I can't tell you how many times we've turned away from bad readers who over-pronounce certain consonants, or read with an odd cadence, making a robotic voice more pleasurable.

Hayden Bishop gives voice to these characters in a beautiful way, bringing them to life and making me want more of them.
A good book only gets better when the reader is this good.

The story:

Emily Jane lays down a tale of immense emotion. I went into the story blind, without reading much more than a blurb. Started the preview on a whim, and bought the book to continue the story. My only regret is that Emily Jane has not written more books!

I haven't laughed and then cried and then laughed so hard I cried while reading (or listening to) a book in a very long time. Her skill with humor is exquisite, touching on the darker parts of life in ways that make brighter times nearly blinding.

If you enjoy stories about human emotion, rambunctious children, TV, and cats, then this is definitely the story for you. I will certainly be recommending this book to friends and family.

I will be impatiently watching for more from Emily Jane.

Slow burn

I almost stopped listening to this book halfway through because it didn’t seem to be getting anywhere. Thankfully, I kept listening and I enjoyed the second half much more than the first.

An absolute joy to listen to!

It hits all the right notes for me; it has romance,philosophical undertones on living, mystery, and ufos. It’s a dream book for me ❤️

Lukewarm Drama

It’s a nice feel-good story with minimal risk and drama. The kids were absolutely annoying.