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Publisher's Summary

A very different vampire story.

Although Agatha Grace is more than 300 years old, it certainly doesn’t mean she can’t adapt and fit into ugly, postindustrial small-town suburbia. Partial to the delights an evening at McDonald’s often serves her, she waits at her favourite dimly lit corner table - for her kind of vampire takeaway. 

Being your typical urban vampire, this means her fare isn’t up in bright lights on the menu above the cashiers. However, she usually finds exactly what she is seeking. Her teenage beauty, long, blonde hair, and ice blue eyes are a temptation very few adorable young men can resist.

After a long and predictable vampiric existence, trouble is now afoot for Agatha Grace, however. Redheaded, freckled, and occasionally a little slow on the uptake, young Reggie stumbles into Agatha’s predictability and turns it on its head as he is struck by his first real dose of love at first sight. 

Add the overprotective, rhyming ghost of a dead poet, a snarling black wolf, some cops, and Agatha’s preference for the 1980s' fashion of miniskirts, satin halter-neck tops, and knotted white blouses, and things just may go awry, which of course they do.

Along with a couple of untimely and unfortunate deaths and Reggie’s complete misunderstanding of anything going on, the awry becomes a dead certainty.

Enjoy My Take Away Vampire. A very different, tasty little comedy vampire tale, but still with a little bite!

©2011 Derek Haines (P)2018 Wordwooze Publishing

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

IT'S GOT BITE!

Loved this! Lot of vampire fun & some other creatures that you'll love. Definitely interesting, and a fun read. Loved the writing and also loved the narration, great job all around. Agatha Grace is a 300 year-old vampire that delivers. Take a bit and give it a listen, it's something I think all readers would enjoy :)
I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
  • TU
  • 08-07-18

Short but I really enjoyed it

I was given this free review copy audio book at my request and have voluntarily left this review.

This was a quick, fun listen about a vampire, a ghost poet and some others. It's silly, fun and engaging. Persephone Rose did a great job of narrating it and I was quite entertained.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

A Vampire, A Dead Poet and a Street Kid

Wow. I'm not even sure how to describe this one. It's not a horror story and it's not a romance although there are elements of both in it. It is a gritty, not very pretty but sometimes very funny story about a vampire who was brought over when she was 15, 16 year old street kid determined to lose his virginity, the denizens of the local grave yard in a small town and late nights at McDonalds. It's also a very well written novella that's definitely worth the time although I doubt you'll be any more able to fit it into one of those nice neat, tidy genre boxes than I was.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

My Take Away Vampire

Agatha Grace is a 300 year old vampire. When she was turned it was nothing for a 16 year old to be considered a woman. But in today's world she is not. Things start to change for her, but her maker never stayed around to explain how it all worked. So another creature of the night steps in to help.The graveyard crew is fun and unique. This is a bit of a different take on vampires, the book is very short and the narration is nice.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Good different book

Great different take on vampires and what it might be like to be stuck forever as a teenager. I loved the narration and how each person had a different voice.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Cindy
  • Splendora, Texas USA
  • 07-22-18

Going out for a "bite"

You might call this a jaunty little tale. Featuring a very hungry vampire, Agatha, a crusty old vamp, and a want to be vamp. A quick enjoyable listen.
Narrated by Mr. Rose, who is fast becoming one of my favorite narrator's. His voice is rich and expressive. He once again delivers an awesome performance.
This book was given to me at my request, and I voluntarily gave this review.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

My Take Away Vampire

My take away Vampire wasn't what I thought it was going to be. I think it's more a 'teen' book with a "15 year old" vampire. I'm not sure how many 16 year old virgins are out there, (laughing) This was a vampire I have not accustom to. Not bad but not good. I did enjoy the narrator, Persephone Rose. I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review. Thank you for giving me the chance to participate.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Ghosts, Vampires Juvenile Delinquents

Agatha is a 300 year old ghost who died at 15 and has a growing need for blood and sex. She sleeps ima cemetery and is friends with a rhyming ghost and hangs out at McDonalds and picks up her current victim.
Reggie is a 16 year juvenile delinquent whose mother is a druggies ineffectual as a parent and no father. and hangs with a gang.
This story took a little while for it to hook me, but half way through I was interested as to how it was going to end.
Relationships, what one wants, needs or desires are focused in this story.
The narrator was my favorite part of the story...the pacing, tone, different voices, emotion and every aspect of the story was raised with the narrator performance!

I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Teenage Vampires

Different take on vampires with humor and a teenage vampire that haunts McDonalds for victims. Liked the characters of Reggie, Agatha and Mr. Fipps (ghost who sounds like he is from Shakespeare times) only complaint was too short and need more development. Great narration. I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review. THANK YOU

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

A Different Take

Agatha Grace has chosen death over the life planned by her parents. Now a vampire she chooses her victims while sitting in the local McDonalds. She chooses Reggie but his obliviousness is funny and she changes her mind about him being a victim. A different take on vampires. Good Narration.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Norma Miles
  • 08-08-18

Fed well, it would seem. It wasn't a dream.

An enjoyable short story, nicely performed by Penelope Rose.
This is a spoof vampire tale of Agatha, a young farmer's daughter, turned on her fifteenth birthday. She haunts MacDonalds, hopefully looking for virile young men to 'embrace', so was usually hungry and desperate. Her only real friend lies in the cemetery plot next to hers, a rhyming ghost.

Penelope Rose's narration adds just the right dash of mystery and humour, and is well paced with good intonation and differentiated character voicings. Fun plot, shame about the verses, and certainly different from usual vampire expectations: definitely worth a read.