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Publisher's Summary

Ever been almost beheaded by a snow plow? Turned into an undead by a homeless vampire? Cheated and betrayed by your lying sack of shit husband? Welcome to my life. Or, more correctly, my crazy afterlife.

To everyone behind the gates of our wealthy community in Charming, Mississippi, my husband and I were the Joneses everyone tried to keep up with. A beautiful house, the perfect gated community, two gorgeous kids, and a supposedly flawless marriage.

Until I came home and caught him rolling around in our bed, hip-deep in my best friend. Which led to the aforementioned snow plow incident. I woke up with a fear of the sun and a propensity for drinking blood. Or, in laymen’s terms, a vampire.

I thought vampires were supposed to be hot and irresistible. But my maker smells like he just stepped out of a sewer, and he has the appeal of a turd in a punch bowl. But you know how life is as one of the Joneses - you gotta keep up. Keep up appearances, that is.

I’ve swapped my triple, venti, sugar-free, nonfat caramel macchiato for a stainless steel rambler that keeps my O-negative at the perfect room temperature. I can still manage the carpool lane, with the right sunglasses to hide my crazy eyes. But between daytime soccer games, a missing college student who might have been a vampire kill, trying not to drain my soon-to-be-ex-husband, and keeping my neighbors in the dark, I’m shaking in my Jimmy Choos. I'm not sure I can do this.

My name is Rachel Jones, and I’m the vampire housewife.

©2019 Jodi Vaughn (P)2020 Jodi Vaughn

What listeners say about Lipstick and Lies and Deadly Goodbyes

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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lipstick and lies and deadly goodbyes

I absolutely love it. I'm going to start the second book now. love when the swan bit miles in the crotch haha.

1 person found this helpful

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you've never read a vampire story like this one

I read the ebook one it first came out and I'm amazed at how much I enjoyed "listening" to it.
Right off the bat, it was like the first time. The performance by the narrator brought the story to another level. You heard the pain and anguish the heroine felt, as well as the love for her family. Her disbelief at what life had thrown her way was both sad and funny, depending of course on which incident she was going through. I hope you choose to listen to this story, but read or listen you too will say it's a vampire story like none other, but a story that rings true when it concerns her personal family life.

1 person found this helpful

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Rachel's New Beginning

I loved this book, I loved Rachel and admired her desire to keep her home together for the sake of her two girls, but I'm getting ahead of myself. The story starts on the night of her husband, Miles's birthday, she's arranged for their girls to have a sleepover a at friends, told him she's out with girlfriends and won't be home that night. She's spent the day making herself beautiful for Miles in order to surprise him later that night when she arrives home early.

Rachel arrived home, sneaked into one of the guest bathrooms and got herself naked except for a giant red bow. But when she opened their bedroom door it was to see her husband and her best friend too involved in their sexual activities to even notice her. Devastated she ran from the house and drove away into the night. But there was snow and ice on the ground and she wrecked her car. Then awoke in a strange house wrapped in a quilt to be told by a strange man that she'd been nearly decapitated by a snowplough and that the only way he could save her was to make her a vampire! He's her maker and he's supposed to teach her everything about becoming a vampire. But this revelation is just one too many for Rachel and she rushes out barefoot into the snow, intending to go home.

What follows is a very entertaining and original story of how she tries to work through her feelings about her husband and friend's betrayal. As well as what would be best for her and the girls. She also has to cope with all the changes to her body as she transitions from human to vampire. How will she be able to keep her girls happy and safe? How can she adapt to her new life and still be there for them and what about her cheating husband?

The characters are wonderfully well developed, and the story never lagged at all. I wish the rest of the books in this series were already in audible because I so want to know what happens next.

The narration of this entertaining story by Hollie Jackson is superb and could not be improved upon, she brought all the characters to life beautifully especially Rachel, I hope that she narrates the next three books.

I was given this audiobook as a gift and am voluntarily writing my review.

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Good Start to a Series

I love this book....it really hit the spot!!.. As soon as I finished I went out to look for the next book in the series. I was disappointed that I have to wait but it is something to look forward to. If you like vampire books then please listen to this one!!

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This is a wonderfully written book

This book kept me on the edge of my sit, waiting for what would come next. Really enjoyed listening to this book and the amazing narrator.

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Another vampire story

This story started out great and strong; I was really getting into it. Sometime past the midway mark I began to wonder if there was a point to this story. It just felt like it might build up to something but in the end did not build up to anything and left too many questions instead of a good hook into the next book. I really enjoyed the narrator she did a really great job and probably the reason I didn't give up on the book. I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.

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Enjoyable listen

When I listen to a book, I want to be entertained and this book does just that. The main character is mature, which makes it even better.
Rachel is witty and fun. My only complaint is that it ended too soon. I can't wait to read the next book in the series.

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Yes!!!

This book is exactly what I hoped it would be! It has everything a paranormal romance should have, and more. I laughed, cried (seriously I did, but it could also be hormones 🤭)... it was so great to watch the heroine struggle and grow. The kids added a perfect extra, and the end was a fist-pumping "Yes!" I can't wait for the next book in the series. Hollie Jackson as narrator 👍

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Loyalisa30

This was my first book by Jodi Vaughn and I enjoyed it! Rachel and Miles’ relationship suffers drastically when she is betrayed by both her husband and best friend. I really respected how Rachel’s main concern was the happiness of her children and making sure their well-being remained intact. On the other hand, I was disappointed that although Rachel was hurt and angry because of what Miles had done she allowed him to get away with his actions. Needless to say, I truly disliked Miles. Hollie Jackson did a fantastic job narrating and really expressed the emotional turmoil that Rachel felt. This was a great first time experience.

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  • Lin
  • 03-15-20

Fun read

A lighthearted story of a housewife turned vampires who refuses to accept she’s a vampire and continues to try and keep normal life going