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Lipstick and Lies and Deadly Goodbyes
- The Vampire Housewife Series, Book 1
- Narrated by: Hollie Jackson
- Length: 6 hrs and 59 mins
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Publisher's Summary
Ever been almost beheaded by a snow plow? Turned into an undead by a homeless vampire? Cheated and betrayed by your lying sack of shit husband? Welcome to my life. Or, more correctly, my crazy afterlife.
To everyone behind the gates of our wealthy community in Charming, Mississippi, my husband and I were the Joneses everyone tried to keep up with. A beautiful house, the perfect gated community, two gorgeous kids, and a supposedly flawless marriage.
Until I came home and caught him rolling around in our bed, hip-deep in my best friend. Which led to the aforementioned snow plow incident. I woke up with a fear of the sun and a propensity for drinking blood. Or, in laymen’s terms, a vampire.
I thought vampires were supposed to be hot and irresistible. But my maker smells like he just stepped out of a sewer, and he has the appeal of a turd in a punch bowl. But you know how life is as one of the Joneses - you gotta keep up. Keep up appearances, that is.
I’ve swapped my triple, venti, sugar-free, nonfat caramel macchiato for a stainless steel rambler that keeps my O-negative at the perfect room temperature. I can still manage the carpool lane, with the right sunglasses to hide my crazy eyes. But between daytime soccer games, a missing college student who might have been a vampire kill, trying not to drain my soon-to-be-ex-husband, and keeping my neighbors in the dark, I’m shaking in my Jimmy Choos. I'm not sure I can do this.
My name is Rachel Jones, and I’m the vampire housewife.
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What listeners say about Lipstick and Lies and Deadly Goodbyes
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Brooke Creech
- 03-18-20
lipstick and lies and deadly goodbyes
I absolutely love it. I'm going to start the second book now. love when the swan bit miles in the crotch haha.
1 person found this helpful
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Performance
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Story
- Dina Bushrod
- 03-16-20
you've never read a vampire story like this one
I read the ebook one it first came out and I'm amazed at how much I enjoyed "listening" to it.
Right off the bat, it was like the first time. The performance by the narrator brought the story to another level. You heard the pain and anguish the heroine felt, as well as the love for her family. Her disbelief at what life had thrown her way was both sad and funny, depending of course on which incident she was going through. I hope you choose to listen to this story, but read or listen you too will say it's a vampire story like none other, but a story that rings true when it concerns her personal family life.
1 person found this helpful
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Performance
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Story
- LeMiliere
- 12-04-20
Rachel's New Beginning
I loved this book, I loved Rachel and admired her desire to keep her home together for the sake of her two girls, but I'm getting ahead of myself. The story starts on the night of her husband, Miles's birthday, she's arranged for their girls to have a sleepover a at friends, told him she's out with girlfriends and won't be home that night. She's spent the day making herself beautiful for Miles in order to surprise him later that night when she arrives home early.
Rachel arrived home, sneaked into one of the guest bathrooms and got herself naked except for a giant red bow. But when she opened their bedroom door it was to see her husband and her best friend too involved in their sexual activities to even notice her. Devastated she ran from the house and drove away into the night. But there was snow and ice on the ground and she wrecked her car. Then awoke in a strange house wrapped in a quilt to be told by a strange man that she'd been nearly decapitated by a snowplough and that the only way he could save her was to make her a vampire! He's her maker and he's supposed to teach her everything about becoming a vampire. But this revelation is just one too many for Rachel and she rushes out barefoot into the snow, intending to go home.
What follows is a very entertaining and original story of how she tries to work through her feelings about her husband and friend's betrayal. As well as what would be best for her and the girls. She also has to cope with all the changes to her body as she transitions from human to vampire. How will she be able to keep her girls happy and safe? How can she adapt to her new life and still be there for them and what about her cheating husband?
The characters are wonderfully well developed, and the story never lagged at all. I wish the rest of the books in this series were already in audible because I so want to know what happens next.
The narration of this entertaining story by Hollie Jackson is superb and could not be improved upon, she brought all the characters to life beautifully especially Rachel, I hope that she narrates the next three books.
I was given this audiobook as a gift and am voluntarily writing my review.
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- Michelle
- 10-14-20
Good Start to a Series
I love this book....it really hit the spot!!.. As soon as I finished I went out to look for the next book in the series. I was disappointed that I have to wait but it is something to look forward to. If you like vampire books then please listen to this one!!
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- Donna
- 10-10-20
This is a wonderfully written book
This book kept me on the edge of my sit, waiting for what would come next. Really enjoyed listening to this book and the amazing narrator.
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- Lisarami
- 10-09-20
Another vampire story
This story started out great and strong; I was really getting into it. Sometime past the midway mark I began to wonder if there was a point to this story. It just felt like it might build up to something but in the end did not build up to anything and left too many questions instead of a good hook into the next book. I really enjoyed the narrator she did a really great job and probably the reason I didn't give up on the book. I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.
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- Crone Musings
- 10-08-20
Enjoyable listen
When I listen to a book, I want to be entertained and this book does just that. The main character is mature, which makes it even better.
Rachel is witty and fun. My only complaint is that it ended too soon. I can't wait to read the next book in the series.
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- beckynmatt
- 10-06-20
Yes!!!
This book is exactly what I hoped it would be! It has everything a paranormal romance should have, and more. I laughed, cried (seriously I did, but it could also be hormones 🤭)... it was so great to watch the heroine struggle and grow. The kids added a perfect extra, and the end was a fist-pumping "Yes!" I can't wait for the next book in the series. Hollie Jackson as narrator 👍
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- Lisa Osborn
- 04-11-20
Loyalisa30
This was my first book by Jodi Vaughn and I enjoyed it! Rachel and Miles’ relationship suffers drastically when she is betrayed by both her husband and best friend. I really respected how Rachel’s main concern was the happiness of her children and making sure their well-being remained intact. On the other hand, I was disappointed that although Rachel was hurt and angry because of what Miles had done she allowed him to get away with his actions. Needless to say, I truly disliked Miles. Hollie Jackson did a fantastic job narrating and really expressed the emotional turmoil that Rachel felt. This was a great first time experience.
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- Lin
- 03-15-20
Fun read
A lighthearted story of a housewife turned vampires who refuses to accept she’s a vampire and continues to try and keep normal life going
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Story
Joey Whitmore longs to escape her dead-end world. Facing a midlife crisis at age 42 and still living with her mother, getting fired from yet another job is the proverbial last straw. So when a fae trickster in human guise offers a chance at changing her history, she figures there’s nothing left to lose. Though skeptical of his magic, Joey accepts the sly prince’s enchanted hourglass and begins a reckless journey back in time. But as she tries to act as her own fairy godmother and reverse her mistakes, her blundering interference causes a chain of catastrophic consequences.
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fun, but...
- By Sadie on 05-20-21
By: Jennifer L. Hart
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The Bromance Book Club
- By: Lyssa Kay Adams
- Narrated by: Andrew Eiden, Maxwell Caulfield
- Length: 9 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Nashville Legends second baseman Gavin Scott's marriage is in major league trouble. He’s recently discovered a humiliating secret: His wife, Thea, has always faked the Big O. When he loses his cool at the revelation, it’s the final straw on their already strained relationship. Thea asks for a divorce, and Gavin realizes he’s let his pride and fear get the better of him. Welcome to the Bromance Book Club. Distraught and desperate, Gavin finds help from an unlikely source: a secret romance book club made up of Nashville's top alpha men.
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3.5 Stars
- By Trosado on 12-21-19
By: Lyssa Kay Adams
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A Ghoulish Midlife
- Witching After Forty Series, Book 1
- By: Lia Davis, L.A. Boruff
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 4 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Widow and empty nester Ava Harper never dreamed of turning 40 without the love of her life. Nor did she know she would bury her favorite aunt, who raised her after the death of her mother, a few years later. Then again, she doesn't have the power of foresight. No, her powers are much darker. With her only son off to college and her life savings depleted, Ava returns home to Shipton Harbor, Maine. When an old friend of the family turns up dead, Ava must delve deep into the powers she's repressed all her adult life to find the killer. Now she must open up to her own wells of dark magic.
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Interesting new witchy focus
- By HBKreger on 05-23-21
By: Lia Davis, and others
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Divorced, Desperate, and Delicious
- Divorced and Desperate, Book 1
- By: Christie Craig
- Narrated by: Jennifer Woodward
- Length: 8 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Ever since photographer Lacy Maguire caught her ex playing Pin the Secretary to the Elevator Wall, she's been content with her dog, Fabio; her three cats; and a vow of chastity. But all of that changes when the reindeer-antlered Fabio drags in a very desperate on-the-run detective named Chase Kelly, and he decides to take refuge in Lacy's house. For the first time in a long time, Lacy reconsiders her vow - because Chase, wounded soul that he may be, would be an oh-so-delicious way of breaking it.
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Fun book
- By Jean on 07-23-17
By: Christie Craig
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Witch Way or the Highway
- A Silver Sisters Novella
- By: Jennifer L. Hart
- Narrated by: Jacqueline Rendell
- Length: 3 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Laney is at the end of her rope. Homeless with three young girls in the mountains of North Carolina, all she wants is to keep her family together. But no one will give her and her girls a chance. Not until the mysterious Jess covers for her with the local sheriff. But there's more to Jess than meets the eye. The woman lives in a haunted cottage and dabbles in horticulture and talks about magic like it's real, not just a story to entertain children. And then there's the mysterious ghost who only Laney and her middle daughter can see.
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Witch Way or the Highway
- By Paranormal Lover on 05-11-22
By: Jennifer L. Hart
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When I Was You
- By: Amber Garza
- Narrated by: Vivienne Leheny
- Length: 9 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It all begins on an ordinary fall morning, when Kelly Medina gets a call from her son’s pediatrician to confirm her upcoming "well-baby" appointment. It’s a cruel mistake; her son left for college a year ago, and Kelly’s never felt so alone. The receptionist quickly apologizes: There’s another mother in town named Kelly Medina, and she must have gotten their numbers switched. For days, Kelly can’t stop thinking about the woman who shares her name. Lives in her same town. Has a son she can still hold, and her whole life ahead of her. She can’t help looking for her.
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Honestly....
- By kennedy on 08-31-20
By: Amber Garza
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Over the Faery Hill
- Magical Midlife Misadventures, Book 1
- By: Jennifer L. Hart
- Narrated by: Jacqueline Rendell
- Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Joey Whitmore longs to escape her dead-end world. Facing a midlife crisis at age 42 and still living with her mother, getting fired from yet another job is the proverbial last straw. So when a fae trickster in human guise offers a chance at changing her history, she figures there’s nothing left to lose. Though skeptical of his magic, Joey accepts the sly prince’s enchanted hourglass and begins a reckless journey back in time. But as she tries to act as her own fairy godmother and reverse her mistakes, her blundering interference causes a chain of catastrophic consequences.
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-
fun, but...
- By Sadie on 05-20-21
By: Jennifer L. Hart
-
The Bromance Book Club
- By: Lyssa Kay Adams
- Narrated by: Andrew Eiden, Maxwell Caulfield
- Length: 9 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Nashville Legends second baseman Gavin Scott's marriage is in major league trouble. He’s recently discovered a humiliating secret: His wife, Thea, has always faked the Big O. When he loses his cool at the revelation, it’s the final straw on their already strained relationship. Thea asks for a divorce, and Gavin realizes he’s let his pride and fear get the better of him. Welcome to the Bromance Book Club. Distraught and desperate, Gavin finds help from an unlikely source: a secret romance book club made up of Nashville's top alpha men.
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3.5 Stars
- By Trosado on 12-21-19
By: Lyssa Kay Adams
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A Ghoulish Midlife
- Witching After Forty Series, Book 1
- By: Lia Davis, L.A. Boruff
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 4 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Widow and empty nester Ava Harper never dreamed of turning 40 without the love of her life. Nor did she know she would bury her favorite aunt, who raised her after the death of her mother, a few years later. Then again, she doesn't have the power of foresight. No, her powers are much darker. With her only son off to college and her life savings depleted, Ava returns home to Shipton Harbor, Maine. When an old friend of the family turns up dead, Ava must delve deep into the powers she's repressed all her adult life to find the killer. Now she must open up to her own wells of dark magic.
-
-
Interesting new witchy focus
- By HBKreger on 05-23-21
By: Lia Davis, and others
-
Divorced, Desperate, and Delicious
- Divorced and Desperate, Book 1
- By: Christie Craig
- Narrated by: Jennifer Woodward
- Length: 8 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ever since photographer Lacy Maguire caught her ex playing Pin the Secretary to the Elevator Wall, she's been content with her dog, Fabio; her three cats; and a vow of chastity. But all of that changes when the reindeer-antlered Fabio drags in a very desperate on-the-run detective named Chase Kelly, and he decides to take refuge in Lacy's house. For the first time in a long time, Lacy reconsiders her vow - because Chase, wounded soul that he may be, would be an oh-so-delicious way of breaking it.
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Fun book
- By Jean on 07-23-17
By: Christie Craig
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Tennessee Truths
- An Enemies-to-Lovers Romance
- By: Ashley Munoz
- Narrated by: Lauren Sweet, JF Harding
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Our story was classic. A typical fairytale. Two young kids falling in love under an onyx sky. He was my dream...and I naively thought I was his. Until he bartered our love and sold me a lie. Now, I’m returning to the life I once knew as a married woman, wed to the richest man in Nashville.
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Excellent!
- By Zandra Thomas on 09-28-22
By: Ashley Munoz
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The Spires
- A Thriller
- By: Kate Moretti
- Narrated by: Siiri Scott
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Strung between two teenagers, an unemployed husband, and a tenuous career, Penelope Cox barely has her life together when the past comes knocking at her door. Willa Blaine, her old roommate, needs her help: refuge from an abusive husband. “Two weeks tops,” she says - but it’s not the imposition that bothers Penelope; it’s the memories Willa brings with her. Twenty years earlier, Penelope, Willa, and three friends lived together in a converted church. Insular and closed off from the rest of the world, the five roommates formed their own dysfunctional family....
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The Spires
- By Ttly Addicted 2 Reading on 09-23-21
By: Kate Moretti
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Truth in My Lies
- Secrets of Suburbia, Book 1
- By: Ivy Smoak
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Hart
- Length: 8 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
I'm not supposed to leave the house. But what my husband doesn't know won't kill him. I break his rules every morning on my runs. It's always been best when I have a routine. So every day I wake up, run, clean the house, wish for a better life, repeat. Every day is exactly the same. Except Thursdays. I live and breathe for Thursdays. It's when he comes. I watch from a distance. I can't help myself. But I was never supposed to talk to him. I know what you're thinking. But you don't know my story. You don't know the kind of monster my husband is. And trust me, you have no idea who I am.
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Oh. My. Gosh!
- By C. Y. on 01-25-20
By: Ivy Smoak
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Drive Me Wild
- By: Melanie Harlow
- Narrated by: Rock Engle, Vanessa Edwin
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Blair Beaufort literally crashes into Bellamy Creek wearing a ball gown and a tiara, I should have towed her car, said goodnight, and sent her packing. I’m a mechanic, not a hotel manager. I've got enough on my plate trying to keep my shop from going under, my overbearing mother off my back, and my baseball team in contention for the league championship. I don’t have time for a former debutante with zero street smarts and a cash flow problem, even if she is crazy beautiful. But I know better than to think it can last. She wants a fairy tale, and I’m no prince.
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Very cute storyline
- By Amazon Customer on 01-11-21
By: Melanie Harlow
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Don't Kiss the Bride
- By: Carian Cole
- Narrated by: Desiree Ketchum, Aiden Snow
- Length: 13 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Jude "Lucky" Lucketti wasn't just a sexy, brooding construction worker. He was my own personal hero, showing up in all the right places at the right times. Like when my car broke down and I needed a ride home, and when I face-planted on the sidewalk right in front of him and had to be taken to the emergency room. We became friends, and it didn't matter that he was 16 years older than me. We had a lot in common - like our love of old rock music and vintage fast cars and our aversion to relationships.
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⭐️ OH CARIAN, I “ONE MORE” CHAPTERED IT TIL DAWN ⭐️
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 08-25-21
By: Carian Cole
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Lie, Lie Again
- A Novel
- By: Stacy Wise
- Narrated by: Emily Ellet
- Length: 11 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
All three women who live at 1054 Mockingbird Lane have secrets...and with a body at the bottom of their apartment building’s staircase, those secrets need to stay buried. Sylvia Webb has a plan. And a potential Mr. Right. He’s sweet, simple, and dependably clueless. The only thing unpredictable about him is his needy ex-girlfriend, who is this close to shattering Sylvia’s dreams. Riki McFarlan has a good career and an amazing boyfriend who wants to settle down. If only she didn’t have feelings for her neighbor - who happens to be her close friend’s husband.