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Lights On, Rats Out
- A Memoir
- Narrated by: Cree LeFavour
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
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Lights On, Rats Out
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Publisher's summary
As a young college graduate a year into treatment with a psychiatrist, Cree LeFavour began to organize her days around the cruel, compulsive logic of self-harm: With each newly lit cigarette, the world would drop away as her focus narrowed on the fierce, blooming release of pleasure-pain as the burning tip was applied to an unblemished patch of skin. Her body was a canvas of cruelty, each scar a mark of pride and shame.
In sharp and shocking language, Lights On, Rats Out brings us closely into these years. We see the world as Cree did - turned upside down, the richness of life muted and dulled, its pleasures perverted. The heady thrill of meeting with her psychiatrist, Dr. Adam N. Kohl - whose relationship with Cree is at once sustaining and paralyzing - comes to be the only bright spot in her days.
Lights On, Rats Out illuminates a fiercely bright and independent woman's charged attachment to a mental-health professional and the dangerous compulsion to keep him in her life at all costs.
What listeners say about Lights On, Rats Out
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Jessica
- 08-06-17
Good but distant
Beautiful writing. Very focused on the relationship with the therapist, which was interesting. There was a certain distance to it that I can't put my finger on. She would describe emotional motives in abstract ways. I like the book and it's worth the listen, but it lacked a certain depth that these types of memoirs typically have for me.
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Potent and Real
- By Susie on 09-17-15
By: Clare B. Dunkle
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Girl in Need of a Tourniquet
- Memoir of a Borderline Personality
- By: Merri Lisa Johnson
- Narrated by: Erin Bennett
- Length: 4 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 60
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 53
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Story4 out of 5 stars 55
An honest and compelling memoir, Girl in Need of a Tourniquet is Merri Lisa Johnson’s account of her borderline personality disorder and how it has affected her life and relationships. Johnson describes the feeling of "bleeding out" unable to tell where she stopped and where her partner began. A self-confessed "psycho girlfriend," she was influenced by many emotional factors from her past. She recalls her path through a dysfunctional, destructive relationship, while recounting the experiences that brought her to her breaking point.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Chaotic, disturbing, meaningless
- By BRB on 04-02-14
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This Close to Happy
- A Reckoning with Depression
- By: Daphne Merkin
- Narrated by: Suzanne Toren
- Length: 9 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 67
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 57
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Story4 out of 5 stars 58
This Close to Happy is the rare, vividly personal account of what it feels like to suffer from clinical depression, written from a woman's perspective and informed by an acute understanding of the implications of this disease over a lifetime. Taking off from essays on depression she has written for The New Yorker and The New York Times Magazine, Daphne Merkin casts her eye back to her beginnings to try to sort out the root causes of her affliction.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I should be the last person to recommend this book
- By Mariaposa on 03-04-17
By: Daphne Merkin
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Manic
- A Memoir
- By: Terri Cheney
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 247
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 213
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 213
On the outside, Terri Cheney was a highly successful, attractive Beverly Hills entertainment lawyer. But behind her seemingly flawless facade lay a dangerous secret - for the better part of her life, Cheney had been battling debilitating bipolar disorder and concealing a pharmacy's worth of prescriptions meant to stabilize her moods and make her "normal". In bursts of prose that mirror the devastating highs and extreme lows of her illness, Cheney describes her roller-coaster life with shocking honesty.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Amazing
- By Kelly Ranasinghe on 04-26-18
By: Terri Cheney
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Your Voice in My Head
- A Memoir
- By: Emma Forrest
- Narrated by: Emma Forrest
- Length: 5 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 341
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 317
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Story4 out of 5 stars 315
Emma Forrest, a British journalist, was just 22 and living the fast life in New York City when she realized that her quirks had gone beyond eccentricity. In a cycle of loneliness, damaging relationships, and destructive behavior, she found herself in the chair of a slim, balding, and effortlessly optimistic psychiatrist--a man whose wisdom and humanity would wrench her from the dangerous tide after she tried to end her life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great, quick read
- By Amazon Customer on 02-12-21
By: Emma Forrest
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The Book of Help
- A Memoir in Remedies
- By: Megan Griswold
- Narrated by: Megan Griswold
- Length: 11 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 285
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 251
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 251
A hilarious and heartbreaking memoir-in-remedies by a self-described "professional soul-searcher" that details a journey of self-discovery through more than 160 tonics, seminars, regimens, and transformative therapies. With a voice that is at once intimate and hilarious, Megan captures the openness and honesty necessary for people to take a new path in life. Listeners will open the audiobook with curiosity about all the different healing therapies that Megan tries, but leave with a new understanding of themselves.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Mr. Toad's Wild Ride has some serious competition!
- By Elisa R. Goodman on 02-15-19
By: Megan Griswold
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Hope and Other Luxuries
- A Mother’s Journey Through a Daughter’s Anorexia
- By: Clare B. Dunkle
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 22 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 92
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 86
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 85
Clare Dunkle seemed to have an ideal life - two beautiful, high-achieving teenage daughters, a loving husband, and a satisfying and successful career as a children's book novelist. But it's when you let down your guard that the ax falls. Just after one daughter successfully conquered her depression, another daughter developed a life-threatening eating disorder.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Potent and Real
- By Susie on 09-17-15
By: Clare B. Dunkle
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A Happy Marriage
- A Novel
- By: Rafael Yglesias
- Narrated by: Grover Gardner
- Length: 11 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 89
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 56
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Story4 out of 5 stars 56
A Happy Marriage is both intimate and expansive: It is the story of Enrique Sabas and his wife, Margaret, a novel that alternates between the romantic misadventures of the first weeks of their courtship and the final months of Margaret’s life as she says good-bye to her family, friends, children, and Enrique.
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2 out of 5 stars
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A Difficult Review -- A Difficult Read
- By Lulu on 06-04-12
By: Rafael Yglesias
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Scale
- A Novel
- By: Keith Buckley
- Narrated by: Keith Buckley
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 45
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 38
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 39
As a hopeless and struggling indie rock musician, Ray Goldman's best chance of discovering any beauty and purpose in his dysfunctional life will come only when he ceases to struggle against life itself. Scale chronicles Ray Goldman’s journey downward through the adversarial trials that sometimes prove necessary in facilitating an eventual ascent into truth and happiness. The odd chapters of the novel find Ray, now a 31-year-old guitar player, seeking fulfillment in the wake of a life-altering tragedy.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Poor Presentation
- By mmacedonia on 04-16-19
By: Keith Buckley
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Abandon Me
- Memoirs
- By: Melissa Febos
- Narrated by: Melissa Febos
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 114
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 97
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 97
In her critically acclaimed memoir, Whip Smart, Melissa Febos laid bare the intimate world of the professional dominatrix, turning an honest examination of her life into a lyrical study of power, desire, and fulfillment. In her dazzling Abandon Me, Febos captures the intense bonds of love and the need for connection - with family, lovers, and oneself. First, her birth father, who left her with only an inheritance of addiction and Native American blood, its meaning a mystery.
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5 out of 5 stars
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This journey is captivating to say the least!
- By Ilanna on 08-11-17
By: Melissa Febos
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We Are the Luckiest
- The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life
- By: Laura McKowen
- Narrated by: Laura McKowen
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 2,376
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 2,033
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Story5 out of 5 stars 2,023
What could possibly be “lucky” about addiction? Absolutely nothing, thought Laura McKowen when drinking brought her to her knees. As she puts it, she “kicked and screamed . . . wishing for something - anything - else” to be her issue. The people who got to drink normally, she thought, were so damn lucky. But in the midst of early sobriety, when no longer able to anesthetize her pain and anxiety, she realized that she was actually the lucky one. Lucky to feel her feelings, live honestly, really be with her daughter, change her legacy.
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2 out of 5 stars
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What?! Boring.
- By Piper on 03-06-20
By: Laura McKowen
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The Other Mother
- By: Rachel Harper
- Narrated by: January LaVoy, William DeMeritt
- Length: 14 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 36
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 35
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Story4 out of 5 stars 34
Jenry Castillo is a musical prodigy, raised by a single mother in Miami, who arrives at Brown University on a scholarship—but also to learn more about his late father, Jasper Patterson, a famous ballet dancer who died tragically when Jenry was two. On his search, he meets his estranged grandfather, Winston Patterson, a legendary professor of African American history and a fixture at the Ivy League school, who explodes his world with one question: Why is Jenry so focused on Jasper, when it was Winston’s daughter, Juliet, who was Jenry’s mother’s lover?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Very good.
- By Roland Harper on 05-22-22
By: Rachel Harper
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All of This
- A Memoir of Death and Desire
- By: Rebecca Woolf
- Narrated by: Rebecca Woolf
- Length: 6 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 171
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 157
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 157
After years of struggling in a tumultuous marriage, writer Rebecca Woolf was finally ready to leave her husband. Two weeks after telling him she wanted a divorce, he was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer. Four months later, at the age of forty-four, he died. In All of This, Woolf chronicles the months before her husband’s death—and her rebirth after he was gone. With rigorous honesty and incredible awareness, she reflects on the end of her marriage: how her husband’s illness finally gave her the space to make peace with his humanity and her own.
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5 out of 5 stars
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excellentt!
- By S. DAWN HANSCOM on 11-26-22
By: Rebecca Woolf
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Everything You Ever Wanted
- A Memoir
- By: Jillian Lauren
- Narrated by: Jillian Lauren
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 68
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 60
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Story5 out of 5 stars 58
In her younger years, Jillian Lauren was a college dropout, a drug addict, and an international concubine in the Prince of Brunei's harem, an experience she immortalized in her best-selling memoir, Some Girls. In her 30s, Jillian's most radical act is learning the steadying power of love when she and her rock star husband adopt an Ethiopian child with special needs.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great for adoptive families
- By berry bomb on 07-06-22
By: Jillian Lauren
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This Is How I Save My Life
- From California to India, a True Story of Finding Everything When You Are Willing to Try Anything
- By: Amy B. Scher
- Narrated by: Amy B. Scher
- Length: 6 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 91
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 81
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 83
When Amy B. Scher was struck with undiagnosed late-stage, chronic Lyme disease, the best physicians in America labeled her condition incurable and potentially terminal. Deteriorating rapidly, she went on a search to save her own life - from the top experts in Los Angeles and the world-renowned Mayo Clinic in Minneapolis to a state-of-the-art hospital in Chicago. After exhausting all of her options in the US, she discovered a possible cure - but it was highly experimental, available only in India, and had as much of a probability of killing her as it did of curing her.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A great comfort
- By Sue on 07-07-18
By: Amy B. Scher
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Confessions of a Latter-Day Virgin
- A Memoir
- By: Nicole Hardy
- Narrated by: Nicole Hardy
- Length: 10 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 41
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 39
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Story4 out of 5 stars 39
When Nicole Hardy’s eye-opening "Modern Love" column appeared in the New York Times, the response from readers was overwhelming. Hardy’s essay, which exposed the conflict between being true to herself as a woman and remaining true to her Mormon faith, struck a chord with women coast-to-coast. Now in her funny, intimate, and thoughtful memoir, Nicole Hardy explores how she came, at the age of 35, to a crossroads regarding her faith and her identity.
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5 out of 5 stars
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This Book Spoke to Me
- By Allison on 04-08-14
By: Nicole Hardy
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Cat Daddy
- What the World's Most Incorrigible Cat Taught Me About Life, Love, and Coming Clean
- By: Jackson Galaxy, Joel Derfner
- Narrated by: Jackson Galaxy
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,093
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,008
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,008
In this book, Galaxy tells the poignant story of his 13-year relationship with a petite gray-and-white short-haired cat named Benny, and gives singular advice for living with, caring for, and loving the feline in your home. When Benny arrived in his life, Galaxy was a down-and-out rock musician with not too much more going on than a part-time job at an animal shelter and a drug problem. Benny's previous owner brought the cat to the shelter in a cardboard box to give him up.
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5 out of 5 stars
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10 Stars!!!
- By Dawn J on 12-04-12
By: Jackson Galaxy, and others
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Expecting Adam
- A True Story of Birth, Rebirth, and Everyday Magic
- By: Martha Beck
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 12 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 271
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 239
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 242
From the moment Martha and her husband, John, conceived their second child, all hell broke loose. They were a couple obsessed with success. After years of matching IQs and test scores with less driven peers, they had two Harvard degrees apiece and were gunning for more. But the dream had begun to disintegrate. Then, when their unborn son, Adam, was diagnosed with Down syndrome, doctors, advisers, and friends in the Harvard community warned them not to keep the baby.
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5 out of 5 stars
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True Life Fairy Tale
- By Desarae on 11-27-13
By: Martha Beck
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An Apple a Day
- A Memoir of Love and Recovery from Anorexia
- By: Emma Woolf
- Narrated by: Emma Woolf
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 120
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 107
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Story4 out of 5 stars 107
I haven't tasted chocolate for over ten years and now I'm walking down the street unwrapping a Kit Kat. Remember when Kate Moss said, 'Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels'? She's wrong: chocolate does. At the age of 32, after ten years of hiding from the truth, Emma Woolf finally decided it was time to face the biggest challenge of her life. Addicted to hunger, exercise and control, she was juggling a full-blown eating disorder with a successful career, functioning on an apple a day.
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2 out of 5 stars
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A memoir of a silver spoon, maybe.
- By S. covely on 06-05-16
By: Emma Woolf