• Just by Looking at Him

  • A Novel
  • By: Ryan O'Connell
  • Narrated by: Ryan O'Connell
  • Length: 6 hrs and 34 mins
  • 4.4 out of 5 stars (175 ratings)

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Just by Looking at Him  By  cover art

Just by Looking at Him

By: Ryan O'Connell
Narrated by: Ryan O'Connell
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Publisher's summary

From the star of Peacock’s Queer as Folk and the Netflix series Special comes a darkly witty and touching novel following a gay TV writer with cerebral palsy as he fights addiction and searches for acceptance in an overwhelmingly ableist world.

Elliot appears to be living the dream as a successful TV writer with a doting boyfriend. But behind his Instagram filter of a life, he’s grappling with an intensifying alcohol addiction, he can’t seem to stop cheating on his boyfriend with various sex workers, and his cerebral palsy is making him feel like gay Shrek.

After falling down a rabbit hole of sex, drinking, and Hollywood backstabbing, Elliot decides to limp his way toward redemption. But facing your demons is easier said than done.

Candid, biting, and refreshingly real, Just by Looking at Him is an incisive commentary on gay life, a heart-centered, laugh-out-loud exploration of self, and a rare insight into life as a person with disabilities.

©2022 Ryan O'Connell. All rights reserved. (P)2022 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved.
  • Unabridged Audiobook
  • Categories: LGBTQ+

Editorial Review

The debut novel I didn’t know I was waiting for
As soon as I heard that award-winning screenwriter, memoirist, and actor Ryan O’Connell had his first novel coming out, I knew I had to listen. Written and performed by O’Connell himself, Just by Looking at Him is a biting, hilarious, and at times erotic look at addiction, disability, queerness, and how they all intersect for Elliott, a 30-something gay TV writer with cerebral palsy. It’s a story chock-full of gay cultural references told with O’Connell’s signature snarky wit. But alongside all of those funny moments, there’s an equally important contemplation of the complications and nuance of privilege, personal accountability, and self-love. If you’re a fan of any of O’Connell’s other work, I think you’ll love this listen too. — Michael C.

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What listeners say about Just by Looking at Him

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Must read

I think Ryan O’Connell is an essential voice in media today. I have loved everything he has written and his show Special. His work, expounding the experience of otherness, of being a minority within a minority, while showing the vulnerability and uncertainty that is universal to all. Brutally honest, sexy, funny, embarrassing, heartwarming, and heartbreaking. I was sad that this book ended. Looking forward to his next work.

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    2 out of 5 stars
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Vapid soulless mess

You don’t want to root for any of these characters, the audio is flat, the story is plain bad. Skip it. It’s like the entire book was written to be edgy and cool when it’s actually just sad.

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Such a great listen!

This book had me laughing out loud quite often and also tearing up at times. I loved listening to Ryan read his own story. It really brought it home for me.

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A huge let down

I was excited to read this book but I wish I had read more reviews first.

This was less of a book and more a series of one liners and already dated pop culture references broken up only by sex scenes that seemed to be trying really hard to not be sexy.

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Outstanding

The narrator was great and the story was easy to get hooked to. O’Connell did a great job mixing in humor to the serious moments.

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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The dude is a dud

The main character is impossible to identify with. The jokes fall flat, just some jilted queen’s snarky remarks. It took me over one week to slog through this listen.

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I hope the author went to therapy

The whispering was hard to hear.

It was enlightening to hear the author's perspective on his experience with a disability and being gay. I truly hope he received professional help for his low self-worth and self-loathing.

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A book full of jokes, not of them funny.

What a disaster this book is. The author is trying so hard to be funny, and it failed every, single, time. Self-indulgent, contrived, pointless, story-less. This is an example of how not to write a novel. I keep all the books I read, I’m returning this one. Some moments in the book were so cringey, I almost didn’t finish it (the brunch episode for example). Do yourself a favor and skip this one.

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Beautiful journey

Wonderfully read & written by Ryan O’ Connell! This book is witty, endearing and is relatable to all! I strongly recommend it! ❤️❤️

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Cynicism with no warmth.

I really had trouble getting through this book. I didn't like or identify with any of the characters, and the constant cynicism just made this book tedious for me.

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