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Just by Looking at Him
- A Novel
- Narrated by: Ryan O'Connell
- Length: 6 hrs and 34 mins
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Publisher's summary
From the star of Peacock’s Queer as Folk and the Netflix series Special comes a darkly witty and touching novel following a gay TV writer with cerebral palsy as he fights addiction and searches for acceptance in an overwhelmingly ableist world.
Elliot appears to be living the dream as a successful TV writer with a doting boyfriend. But behind his Instagram filter of a life, he’s grappling with an intensifying alcohol addiction, he can’t seem to stop cheating on his boyfriend with various sex workers, and his cerebral palsy is making him feel like gay Shrek.
After falling down a rabbit hole of sex, drinking, and Hollywood backstabbing, Elliot decides to limp his way toward redemption. But facing your demons is easier said than done.
Candid, biting, and refreshingly real, Just by Looking at Him is an incisive commentary on gay life, a heart-centered, laugh-out-loud exploration of self, and a rare insight into life as a person with disabilities.
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- Matthew Walker
- 06-08-22
Must read
I think Ryan O’Connell is an essential voice in media today. I have loved everything he has written and his show Special. His work, expounding the experience of otherness, of being a minority within a minority, while showing the vulnerability and uncertainty that is universal to all. Brutally honest, sexy, funny, embarrassing, heartwarming, and heartbreaking. I was sad that this book ended. Looking forward to his next work.
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- Isaac R
- 09-29-23
Vapid soulless mess
You don’t want to root for any of these characters, the audio is flat, the story is plain bad. Skip it. It’s like the entire book was written to be edgy and cool when it’s actually just sad.
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- Gray
- 09-28-23
Such a great listen!
This book had me laughing out loud quite often and also tearing up at times. I loved listening to Ryan read his own story. It really brought it home for me.
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- Harry
- 07-11-23
A huge let down
I was excited to read this book but I wish I had read more reviews first.
This was less of a book and more a series of one liners and already dated pop culture references broken up only by sex scenes that seemed to be trying really hard to not be sexy.
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- Charles Jordan
- 07-01-23
Outstanding
The narrator was great and the story was easy to get hooked to. O’Connell did a great job mixing in humor to the serious moments.
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- Thom Pierson
- 03-11-23
The dude is a dud
The main character is impossible to identify with. The jokes fall flat, just some jilted queen’s snarky remarks. It took me over one week to slog through this listen.
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- Tracy Casanova
- 02-04-23
I hope the author went to therapy
The whispering was hard to hear.
It was enlightening to hear the author's perspective on his experience with a disability and being gay. I truly hope he received professional help for his low self-worth and self-loathing.
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- Darko
- 11-28-22
A book full of jokes, not of them funny.
What a disaster this book is. The author is trying so hard to be funny, and it failed every, single, time. Self-indulgent, contrived, pointless, story-less. This is an example of how not to write a novel. I keep all the books I read, I’m returning this one. Some moments in the book were so cringey, I almost didn’t finish it (the brunch episode for example). Do yourself a favor and skip this one.
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- JoJo Bear
- 11-08-22
Beautiful journey
Wonderfully read & written by Ryan O’ Connell! This book is witty, endearing and is relatable to all! I strongly recommend it! ❤️❤️
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- Anonymous User
- 08-05-22
Cynicism with no warmth.
I really had trouble getting through this book. I didn't like or identify with any of the characters, and the constant cynicism just made this book tedious for me.
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Story
In the summer of 1894, John Addington and Henry Ellis begin writing a book arguing that what they call “inversion,” or homosexuality, is a natural, harmless variation of human sexuality. Though they have never met, John and Henry both live in London with their wives, Catherine and Edith, and in each marriage there is a third party: John has a lover, a working class man named Frank, and Edith spends almost as much time with her friend Angelica as she does with Henry.
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Brilliant historical fiction
- By Shrewsie Shrew on 01-15-23
By: Tom Crewe
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Gay Bar
- Why We Went Out
- By: Jeremy Atherton Lin
- Narrated by: Jeremy Atherton Lin
- Length: 7 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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In the era of Grindr and same-sex marriage, gay bars are closing down at an alarming rate. What, then, was the gay bar? Set between Los Angeles, San Francisco, and London, Gay Bar takes us on a time-traveling, transatlantic bar hop through pulsing nightclubs, after-work dives, hardcore leather bars, gay cafes, and saunas, asking what these places meant to their original clientele, what they meant to the author as a younger man, and what they mean now.
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Gay Bar : A Review
- By Anonymous User on 05-17-21
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Young Mungo
- By: Douglas Stuart
- Narrated by: Chris Reilly
- Length: 13 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Born under different stars—Mungo a Protestant and James a Catholic—they should be sworn enemies if they’re to be seen as men at all. Their environment is a hyper-masculine and sectarian one, for gangs of young men and the violence they might dole out dominate the Glaswegian estate where they live. And yet against all odds Mungo and James become best friends as they find a sanctuary in the pigeon dovecote that James has built for his prize racing birds.
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Suffering Sappho!
- By Richard Stewart on 04-12-22
By: Douglas Stuart
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Lie with Me
- A Novel
- By: Philippe Besson, Molly Ringwald - translator
- Narrated by: Jacques Roy
- Length: 3 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Just outside a hotel in Bordeaux, Philippe chances upon a young man who bears a striking resemblance to his first love. What follows is a look back at the relationship he’s never forgotten, a hidden affair with a gorgeous boy named Thomas during their last year of high school. Without ever acknowledging they know each other in the halls, they steal time to meet in secret, carrying on a passionate, world-altering affair.
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Memoir or fiction, either way it's enthralling.
- By Keith G on 05-08-19
By: Philippe Besson, and others
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Miss Memory Lane
- A Memoir
- By: Colton Haynes
- Narrated by: Colton Haynes
- Length: 6 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Four years ago, Colton Haynes woke up in a hospital. He’d had two seizures, lost the sight in one eye, almost ruptured a kidney, and been put on an involuntary psychiatry hold. Not yet thirty, he knew he had to take stock of his life and make some serious changes if he wanted to see his next birthday. As he worked towards sobriety, Haynes allowed himself to become vulnerable for the first time in years and with that, discovered profound self-awareness. Now, Colton bravely pulls back the curtain on his life and career, revealing the incredible highs and devastating lows.
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Amazing Story and Young Man
- By Carl Allen on 10-18-22
By: Colton Haynes
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All Down Darkness Wide
- A Memoir
- By: Seán Hewitt
- Narrated by: Seán Hewitt
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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When Seán Hewitt meets Elias, the two fall headlong into a love story. But as Elias struggles with severe mental illness, they soon come face-to-face with crisis. All Down Darkness Wide is a perceptive and unflinching meditation on the burden of living in a world that too often sets happiness and queer life at odds, and a tender and honest portrayal of what it’s like to be caught in the undertow of a loved one’s deep depression. As lives are made and unmade, this memoir asks what love can endure and what it cannot.
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Layers of meaning
- By Germoglio on 09-23-23
By: Seán Hewitt
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These Violent Delights
- A Novel
- By: Micah Nemerever
- Narrated by: Michael Crouch
- Length: 14 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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When Paul enters university in early 1970s Pittsburgh, it’s with the hope of moving past the recent death of his father. Sensitive, insecure, and incomprehensible to his grieving family, Paul feels isolated and alone. When he meets the worldly Julian in his freshman ethics class, Paul is immediately drawn to his classmate’s effortless charm. Paul sees Julian as his sole intellectual equal — an ally against the conventional world he finds so suffocating.
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Excellent book. Hated it.
- By Abby on 06-18-21
By: Micah Nemerever
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Dancer from the Dance
- A Novel
- By: Andrew Holleran
- Narrated by: David Pittu
- Length: 9 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Young, divinely beautiful and tired of living a lie, Anthony Malone trades life as a seemingly straight small town lawyer for the disco-lit decadence of New York’s gay scene. An unbridled world of dance parties, saunas, deserted parks and orgies—and at its center Malone befriends the flamboyant Sutherland, who takes this new arrival under his preened wing. But for Malone, the endless city nights and Fire Island days are close to burning out. It is love that Malone is longing for, and soon he will have to set himself free.
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Excellent
- By Charles Lloyd on 12-25-22
By: Andrew Holleran
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I'm Special
- And Other Lies We Tell Ourselves
- By: Ryan O'Connell
- Narrated by: Ryan O'Connell
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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This hilarious part memoir, part manifesto reveals what sets apart the latest generation of young people coming of age in an all-wired, overeducated, and underemployed world. People are obsessed with Ryan O'Connell's blogs. With tens of thousands reading his pieces on Thought Catalog and Vice, watching his videos on YouTube, and hanging on to each and every #dark tweet, Ryan has established himself as a unique young voice who's not afraid to dole out some real talk.
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loved it!
- By Felix on 06-22-21
By: Ryan O'Connell
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Fire Island
- A Century in the Life of an American Paradise
- By: Jack Parlett
- Narrated by: Joe Jameson
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Fire Island, a thin strip of beach off the Long Island coast, has long been a vital space in the queer history of America. Both utopian and exclusionary, healing and destructive, the island is a locus of contradictions, all of which coalesce against a stunning ocean backdrop. Now, poet and scholar Jack Parlett tells the story of this iconic destination—its history, its meaning and its cultural significance—told through the lens of the artists and creators who sought refuge on its shores.