Jerry's Book Sucks: The Book

By: Jay Sigler, Justin M. Woodward

Narrated by: Ryan Drean

Length: 7 hrs and 58 mins

Publisher's summary

Rob and Jerry were merely coworkers until one happy hour changed their lives forever. Both trying to impress a girl, they enter into a bet - Jerry’s sweet office up against Rob’s editing services. The competition was fierce until....

Okay, seriously, I can’t continue with that crap. As you can probably guess, I lost the stupid bet and had to edit this stupid book. I’ve written - but never edited - a book before. But a bet is a bet, so here it is. An intergalactic tale filled with absurd - yet somehow very familiar - characters and an even more ridiculous but predictable plot - guy loves girl, girl loves guy, monster loves girl, monster steals girl and tries to kill guy. And oh yeah, there’s the whole thing about the universe hanging in the balance of potential destruction.

Jerry didn’t care too much about the editing process; heck, he didn’t even give the thing a title. He left that part up to me, so I came up with the most accurately truthful title I could think of:

Jerry’s Book Sucks: The Book

From the author of Tamer Animals, The Variant, Candy, and Rotten Little Things, and the author of Train Thoughts and Unsettled.

©2019 This is Fun! LLC (P)2019 This is Fun! LLC

JBS, it'll literally change your life.

I was already a fan of this before listening to the audio version, but now I can say that narrator Ryan Drean slays it. Jerry's Book Sucks on audible is the absolute perfect way the experience this book. Bravo to all involved!

The Title Sucks...The Book Rocks!

I loved listening to this book. I really needed a good laugh, and this book delivered. If you are looking for a deeply complex book that is lacking in humor and awesomeness then this book is not for you. However, if you want to be amused with off-the-wall scenarios and memorable characters then I would highly suggest this book.
Ryan Drean narrating was fantastic! It was very easy to pay attention to the story because he has an amazing reading voice. Even if a book is fantastic, a boring monotone narrator can ruin the whole experience. That was not a problem with Ryan Dearn's narration, and my favorite character narration was for the old woman.
Now the only question remaining is: Do you want to listen to Fantasy, Science Fiction, Western, Romance, Thriller, and Comedy all in one book? Then the only thing left to do is listen to Jerry's Book Sucks: The Book.

Great humor, gets better and better as you go

Great job! Gets funnier as you go. Also if you enjoy immature conflict with demons/paranormal forces a la John dies at the end you will enjoy this

A hysterical romp across.......well, EVERYTHING!

You’ve heard the term “popcorn movie” before, right? It basically means the movie is a big summer (usually) blockbuster full of action and special effects and actors who look sexy covered in sweat and grime, huge setpieces, exciting shootouts and explosions, and while the heroes may go through a bit of hell, they triumph in the end. What it does NOT mean is that the movie is going to be some life-altering examination of character and humanity full of quiet heartache and a slow pace. That’s what the Oscars are for.

JERRY’S BOOK SUCKS: THE BOOK is a “popcorn book”, and that is not meant as an insult on any level. It knows exactly what it is, what it’s trying to accomplish, and the general laws of physics and human nature be damned. It sets its eyes on the goal, jumps in the car (or on its horse 😉 ), and floors it. Full speed ahead and hang on for the ride. THAT is what this book was for me. A big, bold, ambitious, and satirically hilarious big-budget Hollywood action fantasy that basically takes all the ingredients from a dozen totally different recipes and tosses them all in together for a glorious cauldron of steaming hot fun. Oh, and don’t forget the kitchen sink…that’s thrown in there, too.

Jerry is an overbearing bore, and Rob loses a bet playing darts with him. His bane for losing is that he must edit and publish Jerry’s book–which has no title–since Rob had self-published a book of his own before. The problem is, Jerry’s book, well…it sucks. It’s about Jerry, who has renamed himself Gary in the story, and how he has to stop the vicious bat-monster Bob–curiously close to Rob’s name. There’s a girl in the mix who’s been taken, and Gary goes on a quest to find and save her from the nefarious Bob before he hurts her AND before he amasses the power to control the entire universe. Along the way, Gary enlists Helen, a woman who works for him–and has been turned into a gelatinous goo with an eyeball in it–and an otherworldly gnome by the name of Ryan, King of the Foopians (just read the book).

We travel across time, across space, to other planets, other galaxies, other dimensions, and even Hell! There’s absolutely NO place this book doesn’t go with its sprawling adventure, and along the way we get a handful of Footnotes from Rob, the editor, where he explains how Jerry has taken some real-life situations and written them into the book, but he’s always changed it to make Bob/Rob look bad. Oh, and Jerry has written himself/Gary as an obnoxious, know-it-all, perfect male specimen who makes other men green with jealousy and makes women’s panties eject into the nether with lightning speed at the sight of him.

We can tell Rob hates Jerry, and his footnotes throughout really drive that point home. However, in spite of all this, Jerry’s book really DOESN’T suck. I mean, sure, strip away the scathing satire and the fact that we’re reading a book edited by a guy who hates the author, and this wouldn’t work so well. But in the framework of how the story is presented, it ends up being a home run. There’s fun to be had on every page, laugh out loud moments assail us at every turn, and there’s simply no predicting what will come next. How do you predict that an elderly woman with a talking tit will turn into goo after a fall and spend the rest of the story in one bottle or jar or another in a holster on Gary’s hip, end up screwing herself (literally and hysterically), and pleasure a lusty demon?

Answer: you can’t!

Jay Sigler and Justin M. Woodward have created an absurdist masterpiece here, a mixture of bizarro fiction, sci-fi, and high fantasy, and I for one have never come across anything quite like it before. I do hope I get to experience something like it again if the authors decide to continue Jerry’s sucky books story. When it ended, I wanted more.

Its got action, its got comedy, its got romance, its got an army of talking yard gnomes, its got time travel, portals to other worlds, and a berry that turns you into a walking cellphone to people across the galaxy. And so much more.

Your life will not be changed here. You will not reach some epiphany about life and humanity. You will not break down in tears (except for those of laughter), but what you WILL walk away with is the memory of some of the best fun you’ve ever had ‘twixt the covers of a book. I mean that. Lots of laughs, lots of WTF moments, lots of action and explosions and shootouts and even a pretty damned good rap battle.

Ryan Drean does a stellar job, turning in a terrific performance on the reading. Couldn't have been done better.

If any or all of that sounds appealing to you, snag this up. It’s a hell of a lot of fun, and who doesn’t like a good belly laugh or 800? I know I do, and I had a great time with Jerry’s Book Sucks: The Book. You will too.

Now, go buy the foopin book.

WOOP WOOP!

Just when you needed a little nonsense in your life! I started out expecting to not like this book. I don’t much like sci-fi and too many authors seem to fail when trying to write humor. So why did I buy it? Everyone was talking about the book and it was only 99 cents. How could I pass it up? I not only ended up liking it, I also bought a signed physical copy and the audio book. The narrator is excellent and adds another whole element of humor to this already fun book. He obviously was having a good time and that can’t help but flow on down to the listener. There is a fine line between “roll your eyes” corny and “bust a gut” corny. Sigler and Woodward are gut busters. “Who you gonna call?”

My only complaint is a small one and didn’t impact my enjoyment for more than a few seconds and didn’t effect my review/rating at all. There is one word, used four times in the book, to describe the physical appearance of Helen. This is a highly controversial word and I don’t care on which side of the debate you fall, it isn’t a FUN word. Yet – this IS a fun book. I believe that two such highly creative authors such as these two could/should have come up with a better option.

I was wavering between a 4 and a 5 star rating until Chapter 24, Why Can’t We Be Friends? I live in the Oklahoma panhandle. We decorate tumbleweeds instead of trees at Christmas. I know a dumb sumbitch when I see one. This is one instance where the authors tip toe up to that fine line of corny repetition and purposely vault over it. Someday I am going to go back and count up how many times the phrase is used in that chapter alone. The narrator had me laughing so hard that I had to pull my earbud because those dumb sumbitches at work were all looking at me funny. (Reminder – will need to revise the phrasing for the prudes on Amazon reviews.)

I have always been fascinated with the seven deadly sins and I really enjoyed the gang's tests. I especially loved Gary’s challenge with his reflection. “Feelin’ way too damn good.” I wondered about the choice of using Nickelback at this point but I figured ok they are just a little softer than I had figured. I was thrilled to see it brought up again further into the book!

This book isn't going to change how you look at life. It isn't going to make you a better person. There are no deep philosophical revelations. But, it is going to let you forget your troubles for awhile. It's going to make you laugh. I am a picky reader. I appreciated this opportunity to avoid reality for a bit and just have fun. WOOP-WOOP for kicking it old school!

Deadpool meets Star Wars in this hilarious book!

'Jerry's Book Sucks: The Book' is easily my favorite comedy novel. I've both listened and read the book, and can say that the audiobook adds an extra layer that I enjoyed a lot.

JBS will take you places you never expected to go, and make you laugh all while doing it. The story was unpredictable and left me waiting for more.

Can't wait for 'Jerry's Book Sucks: The Sequel'!

Just not my thing

I've read Jack Townsend and David Wong so I was looking for another book along those lines. I just wasn't impressed with this one. It was pretty juvenile and after a while, I got sick of the dick jokes and swearing. It didn't offend me, I just prefer more of a story. I really am glad others enjoyed it though

wow. im dumber having listened to this

as the narrator stated over and over he lost a bet and had to make this book a reality. imagine a bad attempt of a cheap frat guy from some bad national lampoons c grade movie had to write a book. theres such thing as a masogynistic character which can be hilarious and there is an entire book written by a mysoginist where all the women are moronic horny side notes. and every joke is supposed to make the main guy look cool. im pretty game for most books but this was absolutely unrelateable and wreaked of small dick syndrome. the editor chiming in consistently to tell you why its awful as a sidenote every few chapters didnt help either.

Not for adults, unless you love Jim Carrey "humor"

Do you know why theres a picture of Bruce Springsteen on my cup? erh because your born in the USA? No, because im the fucking Boss!! If thats funny to you, go ahead and buy this. Othervise I'd recommend skipping this.