I've Had to Think Up a Way to Survive

On Trauma, Persistence, and Dolly Parton

By: Lynn Melnick

Narrated by: Lynn Melnick

Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins

Publisher's summary

A moving and essential exploration of what it takes to find your voice as a woman, a survivor, an artist, and an icon.

The first time Lynn Melnick listened to a Dolly Parton song in full, she was 14 years old, in the triage room of a Los Angeles hospital, waiting to be admitted to a drug rehab program. Already in her young life as a Jewish teen in the 1980s, she had been the victim of rape, abuse, and trauma, and her path to healing would be long. But in Parton’s words and music, she recognized a fellow survivor.

In this powerful, incisive work of social and self-exploration, Melnick blends personal essay with cultural criticism to explore Parton’s dual identities as a feminist icon and objectified sex symbol, identities that reflect the author’s own fraught history with rape culture and the arduous work of reclaiming her voice. Each chapter engages with the artistry and impact of one of Parton’s songs, as Melnick reckons with violence, misogyny, creativity, parenting, friendship, sex, love, and the consolations and cruelties of religion. Bold and inventive, I’ve Had to Think Up a Way to Survive gives us an accessible and memorable framework for understanding our times and a revelatory account of survival, persistence, and self-discovery.

©2022 Lynn Melnick (P)2022 Spiegel & Grau by Spotify Audiobooks

Critic reviews

“The author writes with remarkable vulnerability and candor yet ensures that the often-painful memories she relates don’t cloud her critical gaze. She moves gracefully between confessional and analytical registers, her prose both sharp and full of heart.”—The Atlantic

“A riveting blend of cultural criticism and memoir…In her quest to ‘be more Dollylike, rising again and again from the embers of expectation,’ Melnick offers a gorgeous story of survival and self-discovery.”—Publishers Weekly (starred review)

“It is a mighty task to write generously, robustly, and imaginatively about Dolly Parton, who already exists so broadly at the intersection of many American imaginations, all of them flourishing and fluorescent. But what Lynn Melnick has managed is beyond mere tribute, and beyond biography—it is a rich, close reading of multiple lives, that sometimes find themselves touching. The narratives in this book are masterfully presented and do justice not only to the life of its central subject but also the life of its writer.”—Hanif Abdurraqib

Compelling, brave, poetic & scholarly

I loved listening to and reading Lynn Melnick's intimate memoir, While meticulously illuminating the poetry and history of Dolly's songs, Melnick seamlessly braids the story of the two women's lives, providing a template for considering creative ways to not only survive, but thrive. Melnick's honesty,vulnerability, intelligence and grit combined with Dolly's bold audacity to be who the hell she wants to be provide a roadmap for post traumatic growth. As a therapist I've recommended this book to colleagues and patients alike. Melnick's voice, despite her fierceness as a poet, is as mellifluous and clear to listen to as it is on the page. The takeaway: art is soul medicine.

Excellent narrative weaving one’s life with one’s hero

Melnick is a terrific poet. Now I know her to be a powerful narrative writer. I learned to love Dolly Parton, thanks to Melnick. I learned how important it is for me to tell myself of my own trauma, as Melnick does. I know I’ll return to this text again, and continue to learn from it.

sensitive writing

Lynne Melnick's book came recommended to me on a booktube episode of great memoirs.

With respect to her talent as a writer/poet, this book has remarkably good, insightful writing.

However, if you came for Dolly anecdotes, they are here but served up in giant doses of trauma and the burden of trauma, the persistence of trauma. It is a drumbeat throughout the book. If you have been through similar experiences and you came here for the Dolly and didn't take the bit that lots of survival would be here too, this is not a fun listen. Lots of heartbreaking stories from her childhood that can leave you in tears and the seemingly wooden, confused way she soldiered on the way a kid does when their innocence is gone but they are still a kid and only left to grow up with the rawness of loss. I think the most commonly used word in this book is "trauma".

So, here is me saying it's a very good book by a talented writer but for me, wow, so heartbreaking. It buried me because the longed for happily ever after is of course not here. There isn't lots of happily ever after when you are arrested in what was stolen from you as a kid and how it sets the tone for all that follows.

I'm not sure what is the modern evolutionary value of having the most horrible experiences burned deeper in the brain than anything else. So yeah, brace yourself if you read this book and you just love Dolly and can't get enough of her. This may not be the listen for you. If you are a good place and can receive what Lynn Melnick is dishing out from her overflowing platter, dig in.

I will always love you

The author does a gorgeous job of weaving and personal memoir, with anecdotes about the life and music of Dolly Parton! Audiobook narrated by the author was well performed.

Beautiful

A beautiful account of the authors life and struggles. Such a strong voice in a world that needs it.

Wish There Were More of her Story in detail

Just finished this today. I like to read along with the audiobook, helps me retain and makes me feel IN the story/journey. I ADORE Dolly. Huge fan, and it was because of her that I picked this up. By the title and cover I was led to believe this way an interesting memoir in that it might uniquely and perhaps brilliantly weave Dolly’s songs with in-depth traumatic experiences the author lived and conquered through. However, most of this book is an overview of Dolly’s career with facts and backgrounds on the songs (most of which I knew extensively). The author writes about her life and experiences but rather vaguely, and not really giving a solution and victory of how she got through the trauma. There’s frequent mention of “the man who through the bookcase at me” and she talks about it but not in detail. This book doesn’t give you insight on who the author truly is. This book won’t leave you feeling connection to be at all. Rather it’s analytical toward Dolly’s music, politics and role in America today. I finished this book knowing and wishing it could’ve been much better. Great concept! Poorly executed.