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Illuminati Lizards from Outer Space
- Narrated by: Tom Deckman
- Length: 4 hrs and 16 mins
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Publisher's Summary
Do you, sometimes, feel like your life is weird?
Tina Lyons, a beauty contestant, is cheated out of first place and forced into rehab, run by a bunch of undercover lizard-aliens hellbent on colonizing the world. Believing them to be patients just like her, Tina decides to help these incompetent conquerors the only way she knows how - with a beauty pageant!
As Tina’s anti-beauty pageant becomes a roaring success, and humanity is seduced by the irresistibly sexy lizard invaders, Tina must question what it is to be human. And also whether she's taken one too many happy pills.
In the style of zany B-movies, Illuminati Lizards from Outer Space is a quirky, sci-fi romp that answers the question: Is there intelligent alien life amongst us?
Silly and lively, this sci-fi comedy will have you smiling long after you've finished listening to the book.
What listeners say about Illuminati Lizards from Outer Space
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Ijw
- 04-29-21
this is great fun
I should have reviewed this a long time ago when I first bought this. it's just a fun piece of fantasy about aliens trying to take over the world. for once it's not about bloodletting and Gastly fights. it's just great fun.
the aliens have been so successful at disguising themselves that nobody knows they're here. so they're not getting anywhere with their world domination plans. not until they enlist the aid of a beauty pageant should-be winner, who was labeled an "illegal alien" and lost - because she put a beauty pageant owner in his place.
I put this in my list of favorite humorous science fiction that is rereadable when I need something that's just entertaining.
1 person found this helpful
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-
Story4 out of 5 stars 164
You think you’re struggling to find your place in the universe? Consider poor old Colin Douglass, a terminally ill insurance agent who awakens from centuries in cryogenic freeze to find Earth is a devastated wasteland. Now, he’s being pursued by a homicidal interstellar tourist board, and calculating insurance dividends is as outdated as making stone axes. Sci-fi-hating technophobe Colin seeks a cure for his illness in this strange new galaxy where toilets talk back, and door handles are a long-forgotten relic.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Hairy knees won't stop Colin!
- By Willis Burns on 11-19-19
By: Karl Beecher
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Outpost
- By: W. Michael Gear
- Narrated by: Alyssa Bresnahan
- Length: 18 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 122
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 108
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 109
Donovan is a world of remarkable wealth that comes at a high price. When Supervisor Kalico Aguila's ship arrives, she discovers a failing colony, its government overthrown, the few remaining colonists gone wild. Donovan could make her career - or kill her. Planetside, Talina Perez is one of three rulers of the Port Authority colony - the only law in the one remaining town. With the Corporate ship demanding answers about the things she's done, Perez could lose everything, including her life. For Dan Wirth, Donovan is a last chance. A psychopath with a death sentence looming over his head, he will make a desperate play for power. No matter who he has to corrupt, murder, or destroy. Captain Max Taggart is the Corporation's enforcer. But is it too late to seize control of Donovan?
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2 out of 5 stars
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Must have been written for teenage girls
- By Bob on 03-30-20
By: W. Michael Gear
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Black Phoenix
- By: Wayne Wightman, B. V. Larson
- Narrated by: Christian Rummel
- Length: 7 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 180
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 160
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 160
Earth’s first colony ship finally reaches the target world. The excitement of planetfall is indescribable, but quickly transforms into sick disappointment when they find the atmosphere is a roiling mass of hydrochloric acid, carbon dioxide, and other deadly poisons. They fly onward, seeking better planets. They find them, but none are ideal. The search goes on for a century, then longer still. As they move farther from Earth, aliens discover the intruding ship, and they begin to investigate humanity. They find our species unacceptable.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Uggggh
- By JonH on 09-20-19
By: Wayne Wightman, and others
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Optional Retirement Plan
- By: Chris Pourteau
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 655
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 607
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 608
Stacks Fischer is a killer for hire. For more than three decades, he’s loyally served the Syndicate Corporation as its most-feared and respected enforcer around the solar system. He’s buried the company’s dirty laundry six feet deep, no matter who had to be taken out to do it. Now, Stacks has a problem - he’s losing his mind to incurable form of dementia, and unwittingly spilling corporate secrets in public. When SynCorp decides Fischer has outlived his usefulness, they decide it's time to permanently retire him. But Stacks isn’t quite ready to go.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Perfect Narration!
- By Anonymous User on 11-26-19
By: Chris Pourteau
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The Lazarus Protocol
- SynCorp Saga Series, Book 1
- By: David Bruns, Chris Pourteau
- Narrated by: David Drummond
- Length: 7 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 19
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 17
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Story4 out of 5 stars 17
With a cataclysmic climate crisis on the horizon, Colonel William Graves, head of the US Disaster Mitigation Corps, has been ordered on a bold and highly classified mission. Graves must help billionaire tech entrepreneur Anthony Taulke develop the Lazarus Protocol, a secret plan to geoengineer the Earth's atmosphere, and prevent disaster. Taulke's vision is to create a Manhattan Project for repairing the earth's air, and he quietly recruits four other family-owned conglomerates to take part in the project.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Weak ending
- By Anonymous User on 01-04-20
By: David Bruns, and others
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Astonishing X-Men: Gifted
- By: Peter David, Marvel
- Narrated by: Richard Rohan, full cast
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 160
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 142
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 143
Cyclops and Emma Frost re-form the team with the express purpose of "astonishing" the world. But when breaking news regarding the mutant gene unexpectedly hits the airwaves, will it derail their new plans before they even get started? As demand for the "mutant cure" reaches near-riot levels, the X-Men go head-to-head with the enigmatic Ord, with an unexpected ally - and some unexpected adversaries - tipping the scales!
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great graphic audio adaptation
- By R. MCRACKAN on 11-07-19
By: Peter David, and others
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Aliens: Phalanx
- By: Scott Sigler
- Narrated by: Bronson Pinchot
- Length: 14 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,889
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,636
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,632
Ataegina was an isolated world of medieval castles, varied cultures, and conquests, vibrant until the demons rose and spread relentless destruction. Swarms of lethal creatures with black husks, murderous claws, barbed tails, and dreaded “tooth-tongues” raged through the lowlands, killing 90 percent of the planet’s population. Terrified survivors fled to hidden mountain keeps where they eke out a meager existence. When a trio of young warriors discovers a new weapon, they see a chance to end this curse. To save humanity, they must fight.
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5 out of 5 stars
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!!!Aliens: Phalanx needs to be made into a live/action movie!!!
- By 1987godofwar on 02-28-20
By: Scott Sigler
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Salvaged
- By: Madeleine Roux
- Narrated by: Emily Woo Zeller
- Length: 12 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 183
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 160
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Story4 out of 5 stars 160
Rosalyn Devar is on the run from her famous family, the bioengineering job she's come to hate, and her messed-up life. She's run all the way to outer space, where she's taken a position as a "space janitor", cleaning up ill-fated research expeditions. But no matter how far she goes, Rosalyn can't escape herself. After too many mistakes on the job, she's given one last chance: take care of salvaging the Brigantine, a research vessel that has gone dark, with all crew aboard thought dead. But the Brigantine's crew are very much alive - if not entirely human.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A Fantastic and Interesting Sci-Fi Read
- By Brian on 01-02-20
By: Madeleine Roux
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Kill Your Heroes
- By: Slade Grayson
- Narrated by: Paul Heitsch
- Length: 10 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 48
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 44
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Story4 out of 5 stars 44
Eddie Marr never planned to be a supervillain, but it seemed like a surefire way to become rich and famous. All he had to do was come up with a flashy costume, a signature gimmick, and commit a couple of high profile (yet nonviolent) crimes. Eddie figured he'd eventually get caught and spend a year or two in a minimum security prison. Then he'd write a tell-all book, do the talk show circuit, and parlay that into a regular TV hosting gig.
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3 out of 5 stars
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couldn't make it past chapter 4
- By Zaida on 04-29-22
By: Slade Grayson
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The Fossil
- Secrets of Mars, Book 1
- By: Joshua T. Calvert
- Narrated by: Jonathan Davis
- Length: 14 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 276
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 238
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Story4 out of 5 stars 237
In 2018, Canadian archaeologist Ron Jackson makes a mind-boggling discovery in Antarctica - right before disappearing without a trace, leaving behind only his controversial theory that humans have lived on Earth far, far longer than we think they have. Decades later, in 2042, when Jackson's wife dies under mysterious circumstances, an unlikely pair of investigators, Agatha Devenworth and Pano Hofer, begin investigating whether her death might be connected to Jackson's disappearance.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Good story!
- By Kw4311 on 01-18-22
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Wearing the Cape
- Wearing the Cape Series, Book 1
- By: Marion G. Harmon
- Narrated by: K.F. Lim
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 264
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 239
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 240
Who wants to be a superhero? Hope did, but she grew out of it. Which made her superhuman breakthrough in the Ashland Bombing, just before starting her freshman year at the University of Chicago, more than a little ironic. And now she has some decisions to make. Given the code-name "Astra" and invited to join the Sentinels, Chicago's premier super-team, will she take up the cape and mask and become a career superhero? Or will she get a handle on her new powers (superstrength has some serious drawbacks) and then get on with her life plan?
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1 out of 5 stars
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God and Supers don't mix!
- By Robert Parson on 09-08-19
By: Marion G. Harmon
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The Jovian Dilemma
- By: John L. Flynn
- Narrated by: Geoffrey Boyes
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 29
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 27
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 27
Life on the planet Jupiter? Former Senator Mitchell Ryan had always been told the violent, storm-tossed world was devoid of life. He had dismissed rumors of a strange life form living in the energy rich atmosphere as mere fantasy. Confronted with several mysterious deaths, sabotage, and similar acts of terrorism - possibly perpetrated by wealthy politicians who profit from the current crisis of fear - Ryan faces a dilemma that will change his life and determine the fate of the solar system forever.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Hooked from Beginning! A Throwback to Great SF!
- By John J. Johnson on 10-07-19
By: John L. Flynn
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Rogue, Renegade and Rebel
- In Her Paranormal Majesty's Secret Service, Book 1
- By: Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Justine Eyre
- Length: 19 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 323
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 300
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 300
In 1901, Queen Victoria passed away and took over the responsibilities of the paranormal court. When Victoria ascends to the paranormal throne, she acquires the help of a human agent, code-named Rogue.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Introducing ghost buster - Rouge
- By BikeVON on 08-02-20
By: Michael Anderle
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Behind Blue Eyes
- Behind Blue Eyes, Book 1
- By: Anna Mocikat
- Narrated by: David Reimer, Jessica Weyman
- Length: 13 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 20
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 18
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Story5 out of 5 stars 18
In a future world ruled by warring mega-corporations, cyborg Nephilim believed she was fighting a righteous cause. As a powerful cybernetically enhanced elite soldier, her job is to do all the dirty work for the mega-corporation she belongs to. She and her elite cyborg squad are deployed on the most dangerous missions–to protect Olympias from threats outside and inside, at any cost.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Highly recommend this book!!
- By Anonymous User on 06-04-23
By: Anna Mocikat
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Space Team: The Collected Adventures, Volume 1
- Funny Sci Fi Space Action Adventure
- By: Barry J. Hutchison
- Narrated by: Phil Thron
- Length: 24 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 669
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 601
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 597
When petty criminal Cal Carver is locked in a cell with a deranged, semi-naked cannibal, he suspects his life has hit its lowest point. He is mistaken. Abducted by aliens and whisked across the galaxy, Cal is thrown into a team of misfits and criminals and sent on a top secret mission for the president of Space. And that's when everything starts to go very, very wrong....
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5 out of 5 stars
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Absurd. Irreverent. A damn good time!
- By Vukodlak on 08-13-20
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The Empress Capsule
- Audacity Saga, Book 1
- By: R. K. Thorne
- Narrated by: Susan Ericksen
- Length: 13 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 55
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 45
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 45
At 22, Commander Ellen Ryu is a little young to be "retired". Ellen seized the chance for freedom when a shadowy organization offered her a ship of her own and an elite, all-female crew. She's got a new mission now: get revenge on the scientist who almost destroyed her...cyborg mercenary Kael Sidassian gets stuck with a mission he can't refuse...he’s also got damaged hardware in his head and a plan to escape from the barbaric merc company that forcibly conscripted him over a decade ago... if they aren't audacious enough to work together, they'll never survive what's coming for them.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Could not finish.
- By Patrick on 03-08-20
By: R. K. Thorne
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Augmented
- By: James D. Prescott
- Narrated by: Gary Tiedemann
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,103
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 969
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Story4 out of 5 stars 968
Breathable air on Earth is running out and no one knows why. A mysterious discovery nearly 30 million years old may hold the answer. To find it, a glaciologist and the inventor of a cutting-edge brain implant will need to work together. But can they unlock its shocking secrets in time to save humankind? Filled with stunning twists and turns, Augmented is a technothriller that will leave you breathless!
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5 out of 5 stars
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Story 6/5, narration 6/5 !!
- By Margaret on 11-14-19
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You're Going to Mars!
- By: Rob Dircks
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam
- Length: 11 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,987
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,667
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,655
Living and slaving in Fill City One, you get used to the smell. We call it the Everpresent Stink. But every once in a while, on a spring day with a breeze, it clears away enough to remind us that there is something more out there. Most Fillers' wildest dreams would be just to get past the walls and live in the mainland. But my dream? It’s a little bigger. I’m going to Mars.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Reviewers Choice Award, its that good
- By Midwestbonsai on 11-13-18
By: Rob Dircks