If You Find Me

Publisher's Summary

A deeply compelling mix of high school drama and page-turning mystery that asks profound questions about family, truth, and love

Fourteen-year-old Carey and six-year-old Jenessa have been living in the woods with their mother for as long as they can remember; the sheltering trees and a broken-down camper are all they know. But what they’ve never been told is that Carey vanished from the real world ten years ago, when their mother took her, causing an uproar in the media - and in her father’s life.

Now, abandoned by the mother they trusted, they’re often left alone for long periods of time to fend for themselves - but, in one moment, everything changes. They’re found by Carey’s father and thrust into a bright and perplexing new world, one of shopping malls, shiny appliances, new clothes, and mouth-watering food. Carey desperately wants to believe in this new reality but is held back by a deep and painful loyalty to her mentally ill mother, who gave Carey her violin and taught her how to play the soaring music that helps her survive.

And then there’s the other piece of Carey’s past that haunts her, the story of what happened to her and Jenessa on that dark night in the woods - the reason Jenessa hasn’t spoken a word in over a year. Will Carey ever be able to trust her father and his family enough to fit into this new life? Will Jenessa finally break her silence and ruin the cocoon of safety that Carey’s built so carefully around them? And what will happen if the secret comes out?

©2013 Emily Murdoch (P)2013 Blackstone Audio, Inc

Critic Reviews

“Grabbed me by the heart on page one and didn’t let go till the very last word. Murdoch’s language is lovely, her storytelling gripping.” (Carol Lynch Williams, PEN Award-winning author of The Chosen One)

“Within two pages, I was so hopelessly hooked, I felt like the story had attached itself to me…Original and suspenseful, but most of all, it was Carey’s voice that had me flipping the pages…One of those books you devour.” (Jennifer Brown, author of Hate List)

“Searing…Hurt my heart and will probably haunt my dreams—a beautiful book about survival, identity, family, love, and so much more.” (Jenny Downham, author of Before I Die)

One of the best books I have ever listened to!

Would you consider the audio edition of If You Find Me to be better than the print version?

Yes, this was read by Tai Sammons and much feeling came forth.

What did you like best about this story?

When Carey found out the truth about what happened to her.

Which character – as performed by Tai Sammons – was your favorite?

Carey for sure. Nessia was great too.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

If you find me.

Any additional comments?

I originally got this as a library book. Then because I loved it so much I bought both the audio and the kindle version of it. Thank You very much!

39 of 39 people found this review helpful

So worth a credit!

I was riveted by this book. I usually want my credits to be used for longer titles but this book is outstanding. Narrator was perfect. I listened to it in about 24 hours but every time I re-started the app, the cover graphic was so poignant. It's really just a great listen, excellent book and worthy performance.

29 of 30 people found this review helpful

Heartfelt and Harrowing

Emily Murdoch’s debut novel and is heartfelt, harrowing, and lovely all at once. This is a tough issue book about abuse and survival that is hard to hear/read at times but very powerful and uplifting too. Tai Sammons’ performance makes the story feel even more realistic.

If You Find Me is the story of 15-year-old Carey and her 5-year-old sister Jenessa. They live in the woods in a camper with their unstable mother who frequently leaves them alone to find drugs. Carey is more like a mother than a sister to Jenessa and they only have each other to rely on. One day, Carey’s father and a social worker suddenly appear to rescue them from the woods. Now they must adjust to life in the real world, including school, technology, what to wear, and how to act. But the woods still haunt them in various ways, and secrets can’t be kept forever.

The descriptive writing would sometimes distract me with its elegance and I’d get lost in the story. Even though the subject matter is disturbing, Murdoch adds lighter moments like a new friend, or a cute dog, to brighten the mood. But at the same time there are certain recollections of Carey’s that hurt like a kick in the gut. The reader learns about Carey’s backstory through flashbacks that hint at the mystery behind Jenessa losing her voice.

Carey has an artistic spirit and a unique way of thinking and expressing herself. She is such a mature character, that it was easy to relate to her from one mother to another, even though she’s still a teen. The sisterly bond is strong understandably, and I rooted for them both to get some well-deserved peace and happiness. My heart soared with each small victory on their journey, and ached for the pain that lingered.

Tai Sammons’ reads the audiobook, and this is my first experience with her narration. Her dialect is spot on and she conveys Carey’s emotional state of being well. The book is set in Tennessee and Sammons’ gives the book an authentic feel with her Southern accent. Sammons’ gets to use her talents on different types of voices like the mean girl, authority figures, and a child’s voice for Jenessa. I’d listen to this narrator again- she delivers a strong, nuanced performance that made me feel all the emotions. Though the book is powerful on its own, the audiobook made me connect even more with the story.

If You Find Me is a great choice for realistic contemporary readers, and one you won’t want to put down.

61 of 65 people found this review helpful

Great Story With Very Impressive Narration

It was promoted by Audible, but I didn't like the cover which put me off for some odd reason. Yet, when it came on sale, I decided to give it a try. Lucky for me because I absolutely loved this book.

The protagonist, Carey, is a 14 year-old girl, so if you are one of those folks that can only read books about same-age adults as you, and you feel insulted if you get even a whiff of YA literature, then this book is not for you. On the other hand, if you are open to reading about teens or even love YA-type books, this book IS for you. After all, most of us were teenagers at one time or another, right? Yes, the story is about a teen but I would find it suitable only for older, more mature teens plus adults, of course.

The narrator, Tai Simmons, has seemingly "channeled" the main character's psyche and does an amazing job of capturing Carey and her experience. For me, the narration was pure perfection, there couldn't be a better match.

I was immersed in this book for three days and found it believable and absorbing. It was very moving and at times, heartwarming. I felt the author handled the disturbing material very carefully and compassionately. This is one of those books that lingers after it is done, one where I miss the characters and don't want to say goodby.

Read the publisher's summary to get an idea of what the story is about. Then dive in. Don't put it off like I did!

19 of 20 people found this review helpful

WOW...just WOW

This is not my typical book choice but it was on sale so I grabbed it and Wow. Just WOW! I wish I was good at reviews because I know I wont do this book justice! What a heartbreaking, great, powerful story. This book really makes you think. I can't imagine living their lives. The characters were great! Carrie is AMAZING! And what an exceptional person! The way she took care of her sister and everything! Janessa...loved her... Her Dad & Melissa were great & even though the step sister was "the way she was"; you understood her too!

28 of 30 people found this review helpful

I really enjoyed this book

Where does If You Find Me rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

Ranks very high

What was one of the most memorable moments of If You Find Me?

Getting evaluated for placement in the school

Which scene was your favorite?

The step sister comming around

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

no

Any additional comments?

it is a great story

17 of 18 people found this review helpful

Heart Wrenching

As a child of a drug addict my sister and I struggled in very similar ways as these two girls. Thankfully by age 4 for me, 6 for her, we were taken away by the system. We were separated but still allowed contact with each other. We were both adopted but by different families, I was 8 when I was adopted. 4 years in the system. I was able to go up, graduate high school, go to college, get married, have 2 children, own my own home,and have a great career. She on the other hand do not fair so well. She had so many issues that she was place back into the system by her adoptive family and stayed in the system until she became an adult. She did graduate high school but after that her life became very similar to our birth family. She took her life 2 years ago this April. This book reached into my very soul. Brought back memories for me that I had shoved away. I had to know how this would end, so through tears I finished this book. And I am glad that I did.

6 of 6 people found this review helpful

One emotional ride

This was a compelling story, well-narrated. The depth and complexity of the human condition is stunningly portrayed through the eyes of Carey, the teenage protagonist. This story brought a sheen to my eyes more often than any other book that I've listened to.

It's a hard listen at times, but gripping. It's not my usual choice, but I truly found it one of the most memorable stories.

12 of 13 people found this review helpful

Beautiful and moving

If you could sum up If You Find Me in three words, what would they be?

Moving, heart-wrenching, wonderful

What about Tai Sammons’s performance did you like?

I felt that she BECAME Carey. She was not a performer, but the embodiment of a character... great job!

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

Yes!

Any additional comments?

I loved this book.. the descriptions of Carey and Jenessa's worlds - old and new - the good character, the not-so-good characters... I LOVED it. Sure, it relies a bit on coincidence and people too good to be true, but both the descriptions and the performance of Tai Sammons more than made up for it.

18 of 20 people found this review helpful

Moving tale slightly diminished by lispy narrator.

Murdoch's writing weaves a vine for readers and listeners to climb colored with the mixed past and present so often experienced by survivors of childhood trauma. Her characters are relatable and admirable to her intended audience, as she captures the essence of life as a teenager amidst the peculiar struggles of her protagonist. Definitely not easy to put down, the only unfortunate takeaway was the lisp of the narrator (possibly purposeful, but not evidently so, and not adding to the prose as a result.) The narrator was otherwise impassioned and expressive.

28 of 32 people found this review helpful