I Don't Know How to Tell You This

By: Marian Thurm

Narrated by: Alexandra Cohler

A complex family drama with a Manhattan family court judge at its center.

I Don't Know How to Tell You This focuses on Judge Rachel Sugarman and her life both inside and outside the courtroom. Rachel is part of a close Jewish family whose lives are marked by significant emotional challenges, including the painful recognition that her beloved husband is slowly being diminished by memory loss, and the past trauma of her mother-in-law, a prickly Holocaust survivor who, in old age, continues to struggle with her grief.

Rachel's career as a judge and the power she wields in her courtroom offer an intimate look at a woman navigating what is still, in the twenty-first century, a profession most often dominated by men. The novel explores the very topical issues of child and spousal abuse, which color the dark undercurrent of the courtroom scenes. And though it reflects serious issues, there is very clearly a pitch-black comic sensibility at work throughout the novel. By turns sad and touching and quirkily humorous, I Don't Know How To Tell You This is vintage Marian Thurm.

©2025 Marian Thurm (P)2025 Highbridge Audio

Good, but missed opportunities

This is a very intriguing book, with a plot that weaves between a judge’s cases and her family life. I liked it but the author pulled back when she should have increased tension and has a character- her mother-in-law, a holocaust survivor - who has no discernible purpose in the book. I think the grandmother should have helped her grandson accept the tattoo on his wife’s arm of her deceased first husband’s signature because that decision/conversion comes unexpectedly and I couldn’t figure out why he changed his mind. Second, the judge has a case that goes awry - an abused child dies that she could have saved - and there are NO CONSEQUENCES other than, well, she feels bad. Really? These were missed opportunities that kept the book from reaching the next level.