I Didn't Survive

Emerging Whole After Deception, Persecution, and Hidden Abuse

By: Naghmeh Abedini Panahi, Eugene Bach - contributor

Narrated by: Naghmeh Abedini Panahi

Length: 9 hrs and 43 mins

Publisher's summary

It’s hard enough having a painful secret that you are terrified of sharing.

It’s even harder when you find yourself in the international limelight as the advocate wife of a Christian hero imprisoned for his faith.

The worst part is fearing that, if you did share this secret, it might devastate the lives of your family and close friends, alienate tens of thousands of active supporters, and cause persecuted people around the world to become even more vulnerable.

Naghmeh Abedini Panahi lived in constant tension from the irreconcilable realities playing out in her own life, in her family life, in the conduct of others, and on the worldwide stage as she interacted with power brokers and well-known religious leaders. Tension involving:

• Steadfastly honoring God versus being carried away by the tide of circumstances
• Personal reality versus public persona
• Genuine faith versus hypocritical religion
• Truth and caring versus the end justifying the means
• Obedience to God versus loyalty to others

For Naghmeh, it all came to a breaking point, and the only way through it was to die. Not physically, but in experiencing a death and rebirth in her understanding of God, her faith, and her identity as a woman. “I can't tell you how I was able to make it through, because I didn’t,” she writes. “Like the Phoenix rising from the ashes, the new me emerged from the catastrophe of my marriage.”

I Didn’t Survive: Emerging Whole After Deception, Persecution, and Hidden Abuse is Naghmeh’s firsthand story, which takes you from war-torn Tehran to the quiet Midwestern U.S. to the halls of power in Washington D.C. It vividly describes the Islamic upbringing that shaped her, her unexpected conversion to Christianity, and the events that led to her marriage to Saeed Abedini, a magnetic pastor in the Iranian underground church. The book details Saeed’s arrest and imprisonment for preaching the gospel, her fateful decision to share the truth about her husband, her betrayal and abandonment by former supporters, and the new life of advocacy for women that has arisen from the brokenness.

Through the pain, abuse, and loss, Naghmeh clearly demonstrates what it means for us to find our true identity in God, discover the protective care God has for His children, and participate in sharing the love and healing He desires to bring to the world.

©2023 Naghmeh Abedini Panahi and Eugene Bach (P)2023 One Audiobooks

Beautifully written, raw, and vulnerable

Incredible (albeit heartbreaking) story of a woman courageously holding on to the hope of transformation through unimaginable abuse.

A stirring must-read for the global Church.

Nahgmeh tells her story courageously. Any time a person is set free from the bonds of abuse, we ought to find ourselves rejoicing. The victory belongs to the Lord and this book reminds us of that. Naghmeh doesn’t stay too long in any one place of her story and she graciously retells her own perspective. May God give her peace and courage as she goes forward in freedom. May He fulfill the desires of heart and hold her children in His arms.

Absolutely amazing story

Hearing her story helps me understand how it is possible and frequent for women to be abused and not even know it is abuse. It’s becoming more evident that some people in our world attack the very ones that need protection from their abuser. Her story and others like hers need to be shared. She showed great restraint in not taking vengeance on her abuser. Her eyes were finally opened to see the abuse for what is was and I long for other women to as well. There will always be suffering in this world, but woe to the one causing the suffering. We all need to be better listeners and be willing to help as situations are made known. Amazing story!

Interesting and Inspiring

I loved listening to the author read her story. It was interesting to hear about her family's culture. parts of her story were so sad and maddening. I wish no woman would be abused! By the end it was inspiring. a story of strength, resilience, and hope.

Her perseverance!!!

This story needs to be believed and told!!! There is a choice of being faithful to God or a slave to man!!! Absolutely a must read for every church leader!!!!

Such a persevering & brave soul! yes to all this!

I love how Nagmeh finally stood up to Saeed, his atrocious family & most importantly the despicable Iranian government all with the Good lords help! He prepares a table for us in the presence of our enemies. Her bravery toward the white western version of Christianity and specifically ccs is so commendable as well. So much love for you Nagmeh. Every single Christian woman around the world can in some way relate to your story.

Inspiring

Inspiring to see how she relied on God to make her decisions and to see how he answered her prayers.

Beautiful Testimony

What an incredible story by a woman most definitely used by God! Her testimony is beyond powerful!

Romans 8:28

If we could all live like she did, believing everything is for our good. Her story is inspiring.

Well written

I like that the book was read by the author. It was heartfelt and seemed genuinely honest. Although it was a heartbreaking story, the author places her hope in Christ and NOT in man. so encouraged and blessed by this story.