I Can't Save You

A Memoir

By: Anthony Chin-Quee

Narrated by: Anthony Chin-Quee

Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins

Publisher's summary

The raw and gripping memoir of a Black physician who confronts his past mistakes and relationships as he learns to find his own path forward

At first glance, Anthony Chin-Quee looks like a traditional success story: a smart, ambitious kid who grew up to become a board-certified otolaryngologist—an ear, nose, and throat surgeon. Yet the truth is more complicated.

As a self-described “not white, mostly Black, and questionably Asian man,” Chin-Quee knows that he doesn’t fit easily into any category. Growing up in a family with a background of depression, he struggled with relationships, feelings of inadequacy, and a fear of failure that made it difficult for him to forge lasting bonds with others.

To repair that, he began his own unflinching examination of what it means to be both a physician and a Black man today. What saved him and his sanity was not medicine but storytelling: by sharing stories from his life and career, Chin-Quee learned how powerful the truth can be in helping to forgive yourself and others as you chart a new way forward.

By turns harrowing and hilarious, honest and human, I Can’t Save You is the fascinating true story of how looking within can change you and your life for the better.

Contents

Prologue 1

ONE: Chin-Quee, M.D. 3

TWO: A-Side—Success* 42

THREE: B-Side—The Fall 80

FOUR: You 160

FIVE: Fear of Flying 176

SIX: Rainbow Connection 212

SEVEN: Y'ain't (k)no(w) 222

EIGHT: Fatherhood 285

NINE: Eulogy 334

Acknowledgments 353

©2023 Anthony Chin-Quee (P)2023 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

“Bracing… [these] astute, no-holds-barred insights offer a window into the world of medical practitioners—and also celebrate the nuanced and diverse humanity of physicians.”—NPR

“[This] book is full of wild stories from his experiences in the medical world and complex depictions of racial bias and what that means for access and opportunity, as well as honest reckonings with the meanings of care, harm, and survival in a capitalist and white-supremacist society. It’s a gripping story that is also genuine and, at times, filled with humor and levity.”—Shondaland

“His story will resonate, particularly with readers who feel as though they don’t quite fit in and those dealing with a family history of mental illness.”—Booklist

Heartbreaking and incredible!

This is one of the most gut wrenching, funny, surprisingly dark pieces of non-fiction I’ve ever heard. There is so much more to this story than “just” the matter of race. I laughed, cried and nearly vomited as I listened to this memoir. The author’s beautiful voice telling his story firsthand makes it that much more powerful. Highly recommend!!!

Great story

Loved this story of the brutality and rawness of medical training, especially within framework of trauma and racism. The ending was a little light of the leaving of medicine (I wanted more about this journey).

Insightful

I read this book as a female surgeon, I was not only interested in how he would describe training but also the title caught my eye …. I can’t save you. Without knowing anything about the author or the story I bought the book. Did it mean he could not save the patient or himself?

I enjoyed listening to training. I trained prior to him which even made my training more brutal. His training description was accurate however, I quit all alcohol & have never used drugs I didn’t have any energy left over in my training. Although later he explains why he used alcohol & drugs. He also talked about being a minority I almost stopped reading at this point because white women are also minorities in medicine as medicine is a white mans world. We too suffer discrimination most don’t recognize. But…. Keep reading the book only gets better after this point …, he brings it all together.

I love medicine! Despite its brutality it was my calling. He did not live medicine. Sometimes we can’t save patients & I know only I have been able to save myself through all the trials of life! But this man discovered who he was and was kind enough to share it with us! Brutally honest! Thank you!

Healing and Hope

It’s rare to find storytelling done so well that has the power to resonate with so many. Dr. Chin—Quee’s brilliance and humility are intertwined in this book, and it’s just a lot of joy to listen to it in his own voice. A must-read for those in medicine, but goes well beyond the field in terms of its power to heal and inspire.

Riveting & Heartbreaking

What a book. Such a deep, personal memoir detailing drive, disappointment, sadness and redemption. I love Tony's reading of this story - very powerful. Makes me afraid to go to a hospital for treatment by residents-in-training! I am hopeful that Tony has found his real place in the world as he is a gift. Look forward to reading more from him.

Enjoyed this book

A journey of truth, discovery, and self love. Enjoyed this read! The way the book was narrated was great.

A roller coaster of emotions and truth

This story was raw and riveting. The author took you to places within his story that was so heart wrenching so moving so transparent. This level of deepness within a story was absolutely breathtaking. I felt like I lived through the moments he described as he moved through his life as a student, and a resident, and becoming a full-fledged doctor. My heart was full when he spoke about his vision for his life and his love for his yet to be born children, and how he would love them and talk through his life story and what made him become the man that he is today. Thank you for giving us the freedom and the permission to live outside of someone else’s dream for us. I’m glad that you’re bold enough to walk away from or contemplate walking away from the profession and to do what your heart’s desires to pursue your purpose and passion for writing and for blessing us with this amazing memoir. Thank you.

A great read by the author

Most audiobooks read by the author are mediocre at best. This one is a true performance! A must listen to. It is part sad and hilarious, part introspective, part social commentary, and overall hits you are your core. Highly recommend

Authentic

Awesome, well-done! The author’s narration of his accounts— funny, sad, and REAL. Thank you

Don’t waste your time, it’s beyond bad

One of, if not the worst, book I’ve ever read (listened to). This immature man has no business writing a memoir. He has benefited from every loophole in the system while blaming it for his inadequacies. Pitty his medical patients and his colleagues. Hope he grows up