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How to Steal a Highlander

Narrated by: Greg Patmore
Length: 8 hrs and 55 mins
3.5 out of 5 stars (15 ratings)
Regular price: $19.95
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Publisher's Summary

A modern thief

Katherine Goldman is a professional with world-class skills, but the expertise of the family firm doesn't lie within the scope of legitimate commerce. Goldman & Associates steals priceless treasures and delivers them to the highest bidder - and business is good.

When Katherine lands in Scotland to boost some relics, nothing in the experience of this notorious thief prepared her for a collision with a dark, rakish man wearing plaid...who happens to be trapped inside an ancient mirror.

A man imprisoned in time

Centuries before, Simeon Campbell had no idea the woman he charmed was a witch of unspeakable power. When Simeon refuses her gift of immortality, he quickly learns there is no wrath like a woman scorned.

Cursed to spend eternity within the bonds of her enchantment, Simeon is lost time and nearly bereft of hope. Until he's accidentally released by a lass with questionable motives, in a century he could never have imagined....

One wicked curse

As the pair plunge into a journey where danger trails them at every turn, this man of honor is determined to stop at nothing to save the woman he's sworn to protect. But Katherine stubbornly knows better than to clash with an enemy face to face. If Simeon is determined to defeat ancient evil at its source, he's going to need help. He's going to need a thief.

©2018 Olivia Norem (P)2018 Olivia Norem

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Loved the story!

Switching from old Scotland, modern day, back to Scotland had me enthralled. The story was entertaining and fast paced. The characters were humorous and the main story line a sizzling romance. It was an easy listen and Greg Patmore is a top audiobok narrator.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Enjoyed the time travel story

I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review

I always like a good time travel story.

Simeon, a Laird in Scotland, has been trapped in a mirror by Isabel the witch, he's been there since the 1600's.
Kat of modern times thief is in Scotland (under the family business), to obtain some artifacts, of one which she stumbles upon is a mirror, with Simeon trapped in side.

Kat steals the mirror, knowing someone is inside, but not quite sure how they ended up there. Mystery and intrigue are afoot.

This is was good story with romance and intrigue.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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Good Romp Through Time

Kat is an accomplished professional thief who comes from a family of thieves. Murray, the head of this little gang of international thieves sent her to Scotland to acquire a few items without the normal amount of preparation. She has to steal some ancient coins and in order to do this, she crashes a wedding taking place at the castle where the coins are housed. When she goes to steal them she hears a voice, but there is nobody there, then she finds the source, it's a mirror and when she looks into the mirror she does not see herself, she sees a mans face, and she can hear him speaking to her!

Simeon is a Highland Lord who has been trapped in an enchanted mirror by Isobel, a witch, he’s been imprisoned for 400 years. He has had no contact with anything or anyone other than Isobel, this would make a lesser man go mad. Imagine his surprise when he hears sounds coming from outside the mirror, and when the mirror is uncovered by Kat he can see her and she can see him - what's more, they can hear each other!

Kat completes her task but not without some complications and decides to take the mirror with her. Simeon keeps berating her to release him by saying a certain phrase and when she gets so fed up with his constant noise she says the words and is confronted by a 6'4" man in Highland costume.

There is an instant attraction between these two, they have incredible chemistry but why has Kat been able to see and hear him? How will he adapt to life in the 21st century? The pacing is fast, the characters are well drawn and have great chemistry, the bedroom scenes are incredibly hot but they can't spend the rest of their lives in bed now, can they? The adjustment period as Simeon has to figure out 21st-century plumbing, dress codes, and Kat is very well done, he copes remarkably well. In addition to Kat and Simeon, we meet Kat's brother Ian who strikes up a friendship with Simeon and teaches him to Google! Ian also does some research and steals, well I did say it's a family of thieves, an ancient book telling them how to destroy Isobel and her magic for good. The three decide to go back to 7th century Scotland and destroy the evil witch Isobel. There is so much more I could tell you but that would spoil what I thought was a really good and sometimes amusing romp into the past.

Greg Patmore has a beautifully rich Scottish accent, I really enjoyed how he played Simeon and the other males in the story but his interpretation of Kat who is American didn't work well for me. His female voices as a whole need more femininity. His pacing is good and he did have distinct voices for all the characters.

I was given this audiobook as a gift and am voluntarily writing my review.

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This book has it all!

I love this book! The author is a great story teller.
Mystery, Suspense, Paranormal, Hot Romance!!

It's all included! The narration was easy to listen to and the accents were spot on!

I would listen to another book by this author and narrator.

I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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Fun brain candy!

This was a fun little bit of brain candy. Kate is an accomplished professional thief who comes from a family of thieves. There’s conflict between her and Murray, the head of this little gang of international thieves. She’s being sent to Scotland to acquire a few items. That’s where she bumps into Simeon who is trapped in an enchanted mirror. He’s been there since 7th century and his style of ordering Kate to free him doesn’t go over well with her. The flirtation and lusty looks start immediately.

The pacing is fast, the characters simple and easy to grasp, and the sexytimes are hot. There’s that fun adjustment period as Simeon has to figure out 21st century plumbing, dress codes, and women. Then there’s the quest back to 7th century Scotland and a battle with the evil witch Isobel.

Besides the sexytimes, there’s insta-lust and near insta-love between our two main characters. There’s immediate insta-love between two minor characters later in the story which I rolled my eyes a little at. The characters are pretty one dimensional but I wasn’t here for deep characters and integral plot. The lust and flirtatious behavior between Simeon and Kate was amusing and sometimes had me chuckling.

I especially liked Kate’s hand to hand combat skills. She was no fainting daisy… well, except that once. She’s not above using tactics to keep Simeon from harm, which was great. I wasn’t too thrilled at her chosen profession but perhaps she’s ready for career change.

Simeon… well, his name kept me thinking of ‘simian’, as in monkey or ape. It’s not Simeon’s fault, but I couldn’t help but mentally picturing a well muscled ape in a kilt. As a character, he was good in the bedroom and rather just typical archetype the rest of the time.

Kate’s brother, Ian, was fun but we don’t get much about him. We get even less on Sofia, Simeon’s sister. Also, I would have liked more about the witch Isobel as her motivations were pretty thin. All together, it was a fun bit of fluff though I would have liked a different name for Simeon and a little more character depth. 3.5/5 stars.

The Narration: Greg Patmore has a beautifully rich Scottish accent for Simeon. I really enjoyed how he played this character and I especially appreciated his performance for the bedroom scenes. However, his female voices need more femininity. Quite a bit more femininity. His pacing is good and he did have distinct voices for all the characters. 4/5 stars.

I received this audiobook as part of my participation in a blog tour with Audiobookworm Promotions. The tour is being sponsored by Olivia Norem. The gifting of this audiobook did not affect my opinion of it.
#HappyEnding #Witty

#tagsgiving and #sweepstakes

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    4 out of 5 stars
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Good story

I got this story via audiobook boom and this is my voluntary review. The story was very well developed and the humor made it go down well. The narrator read in I assume a Scottish tone and this was hard to understand. I loved the interactions between Heather(Cat) and Siemian. when he burst through the car window was too funny. Overall the story was very good. The narration just was hard to take. The ending was very well done.

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weak story.. obligatory sex excessive

the whole premise of the story had a lot of promise. But I was incredibly disappointed I tried to stick with it hoping more story would come out of it but it was just entire chapters of obligatory sex scenes where there could have been more movement on this story

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a very good story

a very good historical book it was quite interesting and very surprising adventurous and a very good time travel I liked it's quite much the story was good and the narrator did a great great job
I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review

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    4 out of 5 stars
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Good story, good narration

I liked the storyline here. It was fun and entertaining. I enjoy Highlander books when the narration is good and this was! I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.

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I Would Listen To Again

This was a pleasant surprise. It's been a while since I listened to a historical book. It's not really a romance per se but more of a historical adventure. But it's also a current adventure since we start in the present before traveling back to the past. On top of that we get a little of a paranormal mystery. What happened to Simeon Campbell to bring him to this point in time? Was it meant to be that Katherine Goldman would be the one to set things in motion?

Our author gives her readers a little bit of everything. Some would think that it would be confusing but she makes it all seem believable. Katherine is an interesting woman who on one hand can't understand what's going on but is willing to accept what's happening - eventually. Simeon isn't quite sure what's going on but he's a strong man that's willing to take a chance to find a solution.

No offense to Mr. Patmore but when I started listening to him I thought of Sean Connery. I had no trouble thinking of Simeon with a younger face of Mr. Connery. He helped to carry me back to the Highlands and the people that live there. He also helped me become apart of the present mystery and how Katherine is going to go about solving it. Mr. Patmore may not have the best female voice but that didn't bother me. He did a great job in getting me to like this story and looking forward to more.

I look forward to seeing what else Ms. Norem has written. I want to see where else she is going to take me and what my next adventure is going to be. I may even see what other books Mr. Patmore has narrated. He did a great job in transporting me out of my living room and taking me to the Scottish Highlands.These two made a great pair.

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  • Kate
  • 11-02-18

Promised more than it delivered...

*Contains spoilers*

How to Steal a Highlander is a time-travelling romance about an independent American woman who falls for a handsome 17 Century Scottish Highlander.

I really liked the premise, and instantly warmed to Simeon and Ian’s characters. However, I found Kat to be really tough to like, or develop any real interest in. Compared to Simeon her character was really flat and rather dull, despite attempts to make her into a ‘feisty heroine’.

Simeon’s character had warmth, humour, and charm, and Kat’s brother Ian was very likeable and fit nicely into the story. Kat’s character development never really felt believable and was a bit disjointed. Her role in the story is to follow the well-worn trope where the female protagonist starts off remote and determined not to let anyone in, but gradually softens when she meets the right man. (Taming of the Shrew, anyone?) In this story, however, the jump from unattainable to declaring undying love is so abrupt and out of character that rather than feeling like a dramatic epiphany it just feels unrealistic. It was a shame, because I was genuinely interested in Simeon’s character, and could really have invested in this story had it been well written.

My overall opinion was that it reads like Outlander fanfic by an amateur author who has potential but needs a good editor and an honest critique group. The sex scenes, in particular, need a lot of work. At present they just don’t quite hit the mark. There’s a lot of description about how Simeon has the body of an Adonis and is the most magnificent, proficient lover, but very little to back these assertions up. Kat is also supposed to be a confident and assertive woman, but is incredibly passive in the majority of their encounters. I don’t particularly like sex scenes that are too explicit, but if you’re going to let desire and emotion drive them then you really need to invest the time in building the anticipation and exploring the effect that burgeoning need has on both characters.

The narrator, Greg Patmore, did a great job with Simeon’s voice in particular. Kat’s I didn’t like, but through no fault of his. The narrator’s slightly whiny and disinterested tone for Kat suited the character, but didn’t help me to warm to her. His Scottish and Irish accents were deliciously warm and engaging, and I would gladly listen to him narrate in either accent (plus his English, male accent) in future.

As a straight woman, I really wanted to hear more from Simeon’s perspective during their amorous liaisons. It was all just a bit too dismissive and lazy. Don’t just tell me he was the perfect lover, make me believe it. Don't just have him (jarringly anachronistically) say "you're so wet and hot for me", really build up his need and desperation considering he's been devoid of any companionship for centuries.

I might try other books by this author as some of her characters were engaging and I liked the ideas she explored in the book, just not their execution. It often felt rushed and lazily written, which was a shame as it could have been much better. It wasn't *bad* it just wasn't as good as it could have been. I don't know much about the author, Olivia Norem, but I think perhaps that this book could be one of her early works. It bears several of the hallmarks of a good storyteller, but lacks the polish that would make it stand out, or have me raring for the next one. I'd like to see how Norem grows as a writer, and perhaps look into later books if this was indeed an early attempt.

I'd recommend this book if you’re looking for a throwaway fantasy. If you just want to read a soppy, vaguely-erotic romance about an old-fashioned man in a kilt, then have at it. You’ll enjoy the book. But if you want a sultry Historical Romance that you can really connect with, then I think other authors (Tessa Dare to name one) do it better.


*I received this book free of charge in exchange for an honest, unbiased review.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Mattie Legros
  • 03-13-19

Quite entertaining

This i quite an entertaining and sensual story. The performance is great and I really like the changing of voices by Greg Patmore.

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  • Eileen D.
  • 03-08-19

A humorous story with a excellent narrator

This story wasn’t at all what I expected because of the characters. It is unique, although there is time travel, with its clash of expressions, women and men’s roles in society and of course the advancement of technology.

Many good qualities to this story. The plot is catchy with vibrant fast-paced dialogue, pertinent to each character’s style of talk. The narrator, Greg Patmore, captures the sensual lure of Laird Simeon who has spent centuries in a glass mirror under the curse of Isobel, a witch, whom he would not bed. I feel the laird’s desperation to break out of living in total isolation. Greg Patmore is talented and a pleasure to listen to.

Katherine, on a job, finds a mirror while thieving for her father and discovers it is no ordinary mirror. She hears a man’s suave voice coming from the mirror asking to be released. He is brawn and beyond handsome in Katherine’s opinion. Katharine is a talented, skilled thief—she gets in and gets out—no changing what she should do. This time, being intrigued since no one hears the man in the mirror except her, she doesn’t follow the Gorman Rules of thievery, grabs the mirror with the promise to try to free the man, which propels the story forward.

Katherine contacts her Colin, her brother. Things are not going as they should. She feels watched. But who would it be? She left no tail.

Katharine’s voice, narrated by Greg Patmore, feels awkward. She doesn’t sound likable—she’s a bit whiny. How can the laird be attracted which he is? Is he so sex-starved that he can’t resist the first woman he sees for centuries? I think the character would be better served if early dialog (internal dialogue) would from time to time show her soft underbelly, and soften her voice – making her real off-the-job voice more feminine.

Katherine didn’t want to get caught in the laird’s charm with his rumbling masculine and beguiling brogue. She is the best thief in the world and knew feelings could get her killed. Perhaps, backstory on why Katharine had to maintain her status would create more internal conflict, fleshing out her character fully.

Sophia captures Katherine’s brother in love too quickly with Sophia, the laird’s sister. I say this because he was just dumped by his wife and on the run from the police. Again, I suggest to the writer, she has a nice sequel for those two, giving a chance for us to discover what Sophia really is like and the merits of Colin.

Lastly, a thread not resolved. How did the laird know what words would release him and the reader doesn’t? There is one little sentence which points to it. We were privy to the exchange between Isobel and Simeon at the time he was cursed. Why did the writer not include a portion or hint of that? We as the reader would benefit, keeping the information from Katherine, of course.
If you are entertained by a spicy Highlander fantasy, time travel, and sexy protagonists, laced with humorous moments, this story should delight you.