How to Mars

By: David Ebenbach

Narrated by: Gary Furlong, Tim Campbell, Gary Tiedemann, Laura Petersen, Gemma Brayden, Avi Roque

Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins

Publisher's summary

What happens when your dream mission to Mars is a reality television nightmare?

For the six lucky scientists selected by the Destination Mars! corporation, a one-way ticket to Mars - in exchange for a lifetime of research - was an absolute no-brainer. The incredible opportunity was clearly worth even the most absurdly tedious screening process. Perhaps worth following the strange protocols in a nonsensical handbook written by an eccentric billionaire. Possibly even worth their constant surveillance, the video of which is carefully edited into a ratings-bonanza back on Earth.

But it turns out that after a while, even scientists can get bored of science. Tempers begin to fray; unsanctioned affairs blossom. When perfectly good equipment begins to fail, the Marsonauts are faced with a possibility that their training just cannot explain.

Irreverent, poignant, and perfectly weird, David Ebenbach’s exciting debut science-fiction outing, like a mission to Mars, is an incredible trip you will never forget.

Includes bonus story What Lights We Have.

©2021 David Ebenbach (P)2021 Podium Audio

Critic reviews

“A poignant examination of what it means to be human.” (Kirkus Reviews)

“Ebenbach [portrays] the technical details of base living through a satiric lens...the result is funny, fresh, and winsome.” (Publishers Weekly)

Best Mars-based title since Bradbury...

I laughed. I cried. I didn't want it to end. Hilarious and insightful and a brilliant performance from every single narrator. What a power team!

hard to encapsulate without spoiling ...

A fun, surprising, imaginative story about what might happen among humans who colonize the red (orange) planet. Heart-warming, inspiring and a little frightening in places. The performances were spot on - I really loved whichever narrator read the "How To" sections. With Stefan a close 2nd. highly recommended.

gotta call this a meh

group of people being bored on Mars. not that different than people being bored on Earth. some conflict started to show up but then everyone just decided to get on with being bored.

An amazing story with some of the best actors

When I first started this book I was very iffy about it. I loved books about space especially ones kinda like this one. Eventually it grew on me and I kept listening and I couldn’t stop at all. This book especially near the end was just so heart warming and absolutely amazing. The story is just perfect with a good amount of actual life questions and very good humor. The voice actors made this all the better and made me truly fall in love with this book. 10/10 and Stefan is definitely my favorite.

Just Okay

An okay story, I liked the ending. I was not a fan of the Mars Handbook portions. I love science fiction but this didn't satisfy my search for a good science fiction book.

such a joy

i laughed and smiled the whole way through, the writing is fantastic and the performance was SO entertaining I'll be listening again

This book will make you smile!

Such a creative and fun book. Very witty and thought-provoking. If you are looking for a fun, quick read, and like to chuckle out loud, I highly recommend this book.

Interesting start pour finish

Story starts out strong with the hint of maybe it’s going to be funny then the end is rushed and the whole story just peters out to a whimper.
The performance of the narrators is very well done. With good inflection for different voices of different people. But that’s not the story.