How to Know a Person

The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

By: David Brooks

Narrated by: David Brooks

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A practical, heartfelt guide to the art of truly knowing another person and fostering deeper connections at home, at work, and throughout our lives—from the author of The Road to Character and The Second Mountain

“More than a guide to better conversations, it’s a blueprint for a more connected and humane way of living. It’s a must-read for anyone looking to deepen their relationships and broaden their perspectives.”—Bill Gates, GatesNotes (Summer Reading Pick)

As David Brooks observes, “There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood.”

And yet all around are people who feel invisible, unseen, misunderstood. In How to Know a Person, Brooks sets out to help us do better, posing essential questions: If you want to know a person, what kind of attention should you cast on them? What kind of conversations should you have? What parts of a person’s story should you pay attention to?

Driven by his trademark sense of curiosity and determination to grow as a person, Brooks draws from the fields of psychology and neuroscience and the worlds of theater, philosophy, history, and education to present a welcoming, hopeful, integrated approach to human connection. How to Know a Person helps listeners become more understanding and considerate toward others, and to find the joy that comes from being seen. Along the way it offers a possible remedy for a society that is riven by fragmentation, hostility, and misperception.

The act of seeing another person, Brooks argues, is profoundly creative: How can we look somebody in the eye and see something large in them and, in turn, see something larger in ourselves? How to Know a Person is for anyone searching for connection, and yearning to be understood.

©2023 David Brooks (P)2023 Random House Audio

Already helping me love other people better!

I am touched by David’s vulnerability.  Helps me to be vulnerable with those I care about. 

A Hug As We Begin 2024

As we turn the corner and put to rest 2023, we approach all of the events ahead of us for 2024, with a certain amount of fear and anxiety. This is a wonderful book of wisdom from David Brooks that will help us approach those that we meet with heart, regardless of their point of view, regardless of whether they vote like you or not. We have to stick it out as a civilization and this book is a good how to manual for being able to do just that.  highly recommended! I will listen to it as a second time.

Important for this time

I am grateful for this take on how we can be better and help others to be better and in so doing, to make our world a better place. I will definitely read it again.

fabulous to experience

A great treat, read by the author . I'll revisit this one. highly recommend

Learning how to reconnect

This is wonderful book which teaches how to gain insight into others but also with oneself. I am sure that I shall refer to it from time to time in the future.

So clearly helpful

Love this author and this book. Gives so many clear easy to use tips to improve relationships. Thank you for this.

Awesome!

Such useful information and encouragement to grow! I couldn’t put it down and I plan to reread it more than once.

Illuminating and very helpful

I actually stopped the recording to take notes and will definitively listen to it again.

Thanks for your immense effort and sharing.

The key question now is how can I contribute to improving the moral skill development to make a difference in the lives we now live? I plan to re-read this book as many times as it takes for me to develop a plan. Then I will start sharing with anybody who will listen.

Excellent!

Great book, highly recommend. I found it very insightful and was surprised by how much it actually covered.