How to Be a Footballer

Narrated by: Peter Crouch
Series: How to Be a Footballer, Book 1
Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
5 out of 5 stars (36 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Ever wanted to know what it is really like being a Premiership footballer?

Here is the ultimate guide from the much loved everyman of English football, Peter Crouch.

Towering at six feet seven inches, Crouch is prized for his self-deprecating humour, having famously answered the question “what would you be if you weren’t a footballer?” with the one liner “a virgin”. At the same time, he has had an incredible career, from World Cups to Champions League finals. He has scored more headed goals than anyone else in Premiership history and has a better goals-to-minute on the pitch ratio for England than even Michael Owen. A humble professional with a great sense of humour, Crouch is one of the few players that is liked by fans of all clubs. Of course, this is probably because he’s played for most of them.

Now nearing the end of his stellar career, he shares everything he has learnt and tells it exactly like it is in How to be a Footballer, from the most colourful aspects of the game to what really happens on and off the pitch. Honest, candid and great company, this is not your standard footballer autobiography but a true insider’s guide to our favourite sport.

From a legend of English football, this is the most entertaining sports book of the year.

©2018 Peter Crouch (P)2018 Random House Audiobooks

Critic Reviews

"The funniest man in British sport." (Metro

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Fantastic Honesty

Great insight by a great bloke who really loves the game. Great for Saints !

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 12-01-18

Best footy book I’ve read in ages

Really enjoyed this! It offers a different insight into the crazy footballing world and Crouchy is the perfect tour guide to take you on that adventure!

Well written, well read, just good fun!

Nice swan Crouchy laaaa

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Jackie Nobbs
  • 08-20-19

Fantastic

Great Audio book kept me listening and good narration by Peter Crouch would definitely recommend

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Gareme
  • 08-16-19

excellent stuff

A funny honest view from a seemingly genuine guy...even if you know nothing much about football it is a great take on modern life and celebrity

2 people found this helpful

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  • C. Taylor
  • 01-10-20

A great book about a world too bonkers to believe

Taking a step back you soon realise how legendary a footballer Peter Crouch is, and how wide spread his knowledge and experience in the game spans. So who better to walk us through a world so few of us will ever see first hand.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Woburn 38
  • 02-23-20

FANTASTIC

Fantastic book even if you don't like football you will love this, really interesting and Peter Crouch is a legend and narrates it really well, I highly recommend

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  • Gerard
  • 02-17-20

definitely worth a listen. funny and interesting

I was interested after listening to crouchy on podcasts. just as funny and great stories

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  • Trevor
  • 02-13-20

Funny, interesting and I don't even like football

Like most people, I became aware of Peter Crouch since his infamous Robot dance which I'm sure he's sick of hearing, but he has stood out as someone who has massive talent but doesn't take himself seriously

His narration is very natural which is a massive plus, and his anecdotes genuinely funny and even though I don't know many of the footballers who he talks about, it really doesn't matter as his storytelling makes it fun throughout.

It's a very enjoyable view of the footballing world, from early non famous days to being a national treasure.

A great listen

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  • Briain MacArdail
  • 02-12-20

the most relatable and likeable footballer

loved it, well done on publishing a real book for fans that we can all enjoy! I'm recommending to all my mates.

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  • Thomas Longley
  • 02-12-20

legend

love him love the book up the crouchy brilliant stuff son top class 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 ❤️

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  • Danny
  • 02-08-20

Good listen

Nice insight into crouch’s life and the football world . Definitely worth a listen. Could spill at bit more information though

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  • Anonymous User
  • 01-13-20

Peter is a great story teller. Amazing insight

Worth reading even if you didn't support any of the club's he played for

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  • Fiona Lang
  • 01-12-20

Brilliant

Such a smart funny account for football lovers or people around football lovers. Peter is personable and honest. Thanks

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  • Anonymous User
  • 09-10-19

An awesome insight and a great book.

I enjoyed this book as it gives great insight in the world of professional soccer, well structured and very entertaining. It took me some time to get the British accent but a couple of minutes in and the words is flowing.

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  • Vibhu
  • 08-04-19

good light hearted read

a good insight into the inner lives of footballers. something us fans cannot really see just by watching and followong the game.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 05-02-19

Brilliant!

I really enjoyed this book, well down Crouchy!
Some great insights into the amazing, yet crazy world of being a professional footballer!

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 02-12-19

Crouchy's Done it Again

Came here from the excellent Peter Crouch Podcast. So pleased Peter narrated,thoroughly enjoyed every minute. Back stronger!

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  • Nathan
  • 02-05-19

great book

Really enjoyed this book a great look in to the behind the scenes world of professional football. a great story told by a great player!

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  • Jonathan
  • 12-31-18

Written & read by an old fashioned football legend!

Is there anybody in the football world who doesn’t like Peter Crouch? He’s a footballing gentleman and every football fan on the planet should listen to and enjoy this book. His stories of old and opinions of the modern game keep you engrossed and I’m sure like me, every listener would love an opportunity to have a beer with the man to hear more. Thanks for sharing Crouchy! (I mean.... Uch!)

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  • Jonathan
  • 11-12-18

Great yarn crouchy

Loved the listen crouchy. Always loved you as a Liverpool player. Lots of great stories in here! Loved the ending about Gerrard, great example for what a captain should be.