How to Be Alone

If You Want to, and Even If You Don't
Narrated by: Lane Moore
Length: 6 hrs and 3 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (934 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

The former sex and relationships editor for Cosmopolitan and host of the wildly popular comedy show Tinder Live with Lane Moore presents her poignant, funny, and deeply moving first audiobook.

Lane Moore is a rare performer who is as impressive onstage - whether hosting her iconic show Tinder Live or being the enigmatic front woman of It Was Romance - as she is on the page, as both a former writer for The Onion and an award-winning sex and relationships editor for Cosmopolitan. But her story has had its obstacles, including being her own parent, living in her car as a teenager, and moving to New York City to pursue her dreams. Through it all, she looked to movies, TV, and music as the family and support systems she never had.

From spending the holidays alone to having better “stranger luck” than with those closest to her to feeling like the last hopeless romantic on Earth, Lane reveals her powerful and entertaining journey in all its candor, anxiety, and ultimate acceptance - with humor always her bolstering force and greatest gift.

How to Be Alone is a must-listen for anyone whose childhood still feels unresolved, who spends more time pretending to have friends online than feeling close to anyone in real life, who tries to have genuine, deep conversations in a roomful of people who would rather you not. Above all, it’s an audiobook for anyone who desperately wants to feel less alone and a little more connected through listening to her words. 

©2018 Lane Moore. All rights reserved. (P)2018 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved.

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Self awareness I wasn’t expecting

This book was suggested to me by a friend and I genuinely thought I was going to be a self help book that had a bit of an edge. Female writer, cover I related to, sure! Well it was so much more.

Part memoir, part cautionary tale, part advice, all heart. I don’t relate to Lane on every aspect she bravely shares in this book, but damn do I relate to her thoughts and behaviors as an adult. I was able to gather insight I’d been seeking all year and I have a big smile on my face knowing that she would be genuinely happy to know that she helped a stranger.

If you’ve always felt a little weird and a little outside the norm of society, I’d recommend this book. It was like talking to a friend.

14 people found this helpful

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This book is for you

if you're single and navigating what it means to grow into adulthood in 2018, this book is for you. If you feel like you're surrounded by people who met their partner in high school or college and have never had to navigate the perils of dating apps, and think 'getting out there!' is 'fun!', this book is for you. If you feel intimidated by people who somehow manage to have like, a tight knit group of good friends, and a job they love and/or pays them well, and solid mental health, and you, um, don't have that? this book is for you.

10 people found this helpful

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Loved the traditions

I so did my own traditions for a few years even hiked on thanksgiving and found a pair of ray bans sunglasses on my hike solo. You can do your own thing and this book reinforced my own beliefs to keep on trucking .... at your own pace.
Fuck it.

4 people found this helpful

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loved this book!

I have listened to this book twice! This is my first holiday season alone and I am so gladni stumbled upon this book!

4 people found this helpful

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because of this book im not alone anymore.

because of this book, I'll never be alone again. Moore's voice holds you in the dark.

4 people found this helpful

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perfect timing

I found this book on my facebook feed in an audible ad post breakup and getting ready to move out. It's incredibly real and even though I haven't experienced every single thing the author has, I felt like I was listening to someone else tell my story. She puts so many feelings into words that I could not describe over the years. So many internal dialogues secretly had with myself that I thought made me crazy when really, I was just human. This book is raw, honest, and reassuringly human. Thank you Lane Moore.

3 people found this helpful

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Everyone must read.

Lane Moore is brutally honest and opens parts of her heart that no one should have to. And that’s the point, she doesn’t have to. She does so on the hope, that she can help even one soul feel seen, heard, and a little less alone. What a gorgeous treat this book has been.

11 people found this helpful

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Self-indulgent drivel

Disclaimer: I only made it to the 3rd chapter. The title and catchy cover are highly misleading. This is not an insightful, informed guide with the occasional illustrative anecdote, but rather a self-pitying, desperate word vomit of Moore’s life story, full of cliched analogies and corny jokes. It’s better suited as a free podcast you listen to at half-attention during your morning commute. If you’re looking for something with any intellectual merit this is NOT FOR YOU. If you’re looking for a bubbly and relatable narrator to chat your ear off and melt your brain cells, this is for you.

4 people found this helpful

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Garbage

You know that whiny, neurotic friend you avoid because all they ever do is complain about their life, and how tough they've had it because everyone lets them down by not filling the black hole of their emotional neediness? Well, she wrote a book. Now you can listen to her blame everyone and everything for why her life is awful. I listened for almost 2 hours before I just gave up. I hoped this would be helpful in some way to navigate being alone. Clearly what the author meant by "How To Be Alone" was not "here is helpful advice for becoming comfortable with being alone", she meant "here is how to act if you want to drive everyone away from you so you end up alone."

9 people found this helpful

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Not a good book

I mean, I tried on multiple occasions (in multiple different moods) to give this book a chance. I’m starting to wonder if all of the books on here have loads of high ratings...because this one inexplicably does. It’s not even solely the narration, but this book is a whiny mess. She just whines and complains about how hard her life has been, but unfortunately, I have listened to pretty much the whole thing, and it just sounds like she believes she already knows everything, and didn’t illustrate growth or learning that came from the experiences. It’s pretty obnoxious and for someone who has had such a hard life, she sure sounds like she loves the sound of her own voice and thinks she’s amazing. It’s dumb. Don’t get it. She’s dramatic, attention-seeking, and it’s just.....not good.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Neli UE
  • 01-02-19

This book is actually a magic potion

And with this magic potion you will never feel alone ever again, I promise. Lane really knows what she's talking about.

1 person found this helpful

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  • RachelJay
  • 03-26-20

Meh

I thought, as the title said, it would be a bit of a guide on how to be alone. It's certainly not that but a good enough listen all the same.

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  • Iryna Lurye
  • 02-17-20

1000 thanks to Lane

Highly recommended to everyone who had to raise themselves. Damn, we did a great job!

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  • Anonymous User
  • 01-17-20

A must read/ listen one

A must read to all the introvert, anxious and "freak" out there. Like me ♡

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  • Robert Brown
  • 01-02-20

Another millennial with 'look at me ideals'

Not really much about how to be alone, very much about her own story about being a lesbian and holding slight disdain for the male species. It may be my own prejudice but the voiceover makes me not want to hear any deeper meaning, the way she ends her sentences, it sounds like she feels the world owes her and that she owes herself no responsibility to take control of her own life. Totally not what I was expecting to hear from an audio book titled 'how to be alone'

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    2 out of 5 stars
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  • Donna C.
  • 09-28-19

Narrators voice grated on me too much.

struggled to get past the narrators voice. I found it just too irritating. Accent too strong and over emphasising. At times sounding like drunk at a party trying to be funny and failing. Couldnt listen past chapter 2

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  • Seren
  • 12-27-19

wow thank you lane xxx

I love this book. Thank you so much Lane. thank you for being like me. thank you for making me laugh so much and genuinely helping me feel a bit better about myself. xxxxxxxxxx

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  • Bree
  • 10-02-19

Comforted my soul

So beneficial when you go your whole life feeling as though you're the only human being who has dealt with the convoluted strange experience of emotional neglect and abandonment from your primary caregivers. When the most eloquently hilarious book is dropped that mirrors this experience it serves more healing and remedy than thousands of dollars spent on therapy. If you struggle with pathological loneliness read this book, so glad I bought it thank you Lane!!

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  • Kate
  • 08-11-19

Hilarious, honest and beautifully written

This story was such a beautiful, funny and devastating journey. Lane has such a stunning talent for sharing stories of her difficult childhood. Such a talented, hilarious and entertaining writer.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 07-30-19

amazing!

I finished it in one day and felt so connected, even cried at the end.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 04-17-19

Gorgeous

Moore's writing, ideas, and narration are beautiful. This book meant so much to me, and at a time when I really needed it.