Happy Endings

The Tales of a Meaty-Breasted Zilch
Narrated by: Jim Norton
Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
4 out of 5 stars (589 ratings)

Audible membership

$14.95 a month

Free with a 30-day trial
1 audiobook of your choice.
A monthly selection of Audible Originals.
$14.95 a month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.
Buy for $23.93

Buy for $23.93

Pay using card ending in
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Taxes where applicable.

Publisher's Summary

Comedian Jim Norton is dirty...really dirty...the kind of dirty that makes The Aristocrats look like a knock-knock joke. Fortunately for him, his kind of dirty humor has earned him the distinction of being third microphone on the immensely popular Opie & Anthony syndicated radio show. In Happy Endings, Jim brings his raw, hilarious, and offensively honest comedy to Audible® listeners.

Jim will discuss everything from his affinity for hookers to stalking Black Sabbath and Alan Alda to always getting stuck with the hot girl's fat friend. He will share some of his experiences with Opie and Anthony, including his arrest on the infamous Voyeur Bus (a bus filled with naked girls that drove around Manhattan flashing passers-by). Many more heartwarming stories will be included in what is sure to be the most controversial title of 2007.

In addition to being a regular on the Opie & Anthony Show, Norton sells out comedy shows across the country. He starred on the recent HBO series Lucky Louie and was a regular on Comedy Central's Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. He has appeared on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, The Late Show with David Letterman, and other national shows.

Norton had this to say about his forthcoming title: "It's ironic that many of the stories revolve around prostitution, because that's where all proceeds from this...will be going. Actually, that's probably more disgusting and creepy than ironic."

Explicit Language Warning: You must be 18 years or older to purchase.

©2007 Jim Norton. All rights reserved (P)2007 Simon and Schuster Inc. All rights reserved.

What listeners say about Happy Endings

Average Customer Ratings
Overall
  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    295
  • 4 Stars
    107
  • 3 Stars
    80
  • 2 Stars
    50
  • 1 Stars
    57
Performance
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    226
  • 4 Stars
    58
  • 3 Stars
    33
  • 2 Stars
    16
  • 1 Stars
    18
Story
  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    181
  • 4 Stars
    56
  • 3 Stars
    58
  • 2 Stars
    28
  • 1 Stars
    31

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Jim Uncensored

**WARNING** This book is for adults only, infact only for adults who could handle profanity, sex and off color humor. If you are one of these adults then this is a must "read". Jim has made me more of a fan.

7 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Touching Journal Entries

This boy was a tear jerker about a young man's struggle to become the best Litte Jimmy he can be. There are classic stories about the nice girls that help him work out his issues.
You finally know the starts of the widely popular monster rain.
A must read

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars

ok

if you're a fan, you've already heard all of these stories on the O&A show. If you've never heard of Norton before, it'll give you a good laugh... Otherwise, it's all old material.

6 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Happy Endings

A fine literary masterpiece brought to life by charismatic lad that brought you "Monster Rain" and "Big Boy Made a Doody". Sure to be an enduring classic that will resonate with future generations.

Good day sir.

25 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Funny but old O & A stories

I LOVE!!!! little Jimmy so I'm hesitant to write anything but a positive review. This is a funny book and you won't be dissapointed by it. That being said it was a lot of regurgitated stories from the O & A show. If your a fan however, this is not to be missed.

Happy birfday Jimmy!!!!! (I know how you like these !!)

4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

creative mastermind

Really funny, this sick little perverts mind goes beyond anything I could imagine, good stories about being a mediocre comic with less interesting friends. A need to spill seed like it's the only thing keeping him alive and the weirdest fantasized exploits EVER satisfying beyond reason. Thanks to lil Jimmy, Ted Sheckler, Earl, Uncle Paul and the rest.

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Doesn't get any cruder than this.

If you like Jim Norton's humor, you'll love this book. If you're someone that's uptight or easily offended, you'll pop a blood vessel after about 60 seconds of listening.

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

This isn't a stand up show

Jim can't get over himself enough to tell us about himself. This is just one bit after another which honestly are not that funny.

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

horrifically unfunny

What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

i think jims comedy is alright so i wanted to see what his life was like and maybe get a laugh out of it but its basically the same story over and over. trying way too hard to be dirty and vulgar. good voice and easy to listen to but the book sucks.

Has Happy Endings turned you off from other books in this genre?

no

Did the narration match the pace of the story?

yes

You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

no

Any additional comments?

i wasnt expecting much from this book and i was still let down

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

I love little Jimmy

vile, offensive, and wonderful. Exactly what I wanted out of this book. Actually LOL'D. Good show sir.

1 person found this helpful

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for TaraLondon
  • TaraLondon
  • 09-09-18

Shame

I like Jim as a stand up but this is awful.
In the words of Norton himself " A booooooo"

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for William
  • William
  • 10-07-15

It's Yimmy, pure and simple!

What more can I say, it's lil Jimmy... candid and brutally honest.

The reading during the first 20 minutes is not great... not sure if this was Jims first reading, very flat. After that he gets settled in however, the rest is honestly not reviewable as it is very much down to taste.

Best way to put it; if you like Jim Norton, you'll love this!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Barry
  • Barry
  • 02-08-15

fantastic.

What did you like most about Happy Endings?

Truly fantastic,always loved Jim's stand-up and work on o&a now o&j,an insight into an already disturbingly open man.

What did you like best about this story?

It's more of what I already love about Jim Norton.

What about Jim Norton’s performance did you like?

Who can tell his story better than Jim himself.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

The airplane fart story is hilarious.

Any additional comments?

Somebody call the goose!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Rowan
  • Rowan
  • 03-02-10

Loved it

Very different and couldnt be read by anyone else. if you like him get it. check the sample cause its a bit different but funny

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Anonymous User
  • Anonymous User
  • 10-04-17

Just not funny.

Equates saying shocking things with being funny. I like crude, irreverent humour, but the bit missing here is the humour.

1 person found this helpful