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Galaxy Cruise: Royally Screwed
- Galaxy Cruise, Book 2
- Narrated by: TJ Clark
- Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins
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Galaxy Cruise: Royally Screwed
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Publisher's Summary
Galactic war, mass destruction, and a whole lot of wasted wedding cake.
After generations of conflict, an arranged marriage is set to unite two feuding royal families and bring peace to their worlds. But when bungling Captain Leo MacGavin botches the bride and groom’s first meeting, the wedding is off, and so is the truce!
To stop an interplanetary war, Leo needs to make a royal love connection, and fast! But when he seeks help from his confidante Kellybean, he inadvertently sabotages her budding relationship as well. To further complicate matters, his ship is on the verge of catastrophic failure, his first officer is weaponizing the safety gear, and his acting head of hospitality is a sociopath who keeps maiming the guests.
When Leo’s old flame makes a mysterious reappearance, can she help him unite the nuptial-bound nemeses, or is the whole galaxy royally screwed?
Galaxy Cruise: Royally Screwed is the second uproarious adventure of the cruise starship WTF Americano Grande, featuring aliens in inflatable fat suits, a gladiator-style singles mingle, and a few very tasteful and understated poop jokes.
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What listeners say about Galaxy Cruise: Royally Screwed
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- High Priestess Enoch
- 02-24-23
witty and fun
Like its predecessor, this was a fun book. It puts the characters through funny situations. The narrator is great with the different voices of characters. Fun plot.
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 601
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 597
When petty criminal Cal Carver is locked in a cell with a deranged, semi-naked cannibal, he suspects his life has hit its lowest point. He is mistaken. Abducted by aliens and whisked across the galaxy, Cal is thrown into a team of misfits and criminals and sent on a top secret mission for the president of Space. And that's when everything starts to go very, very wrong....
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5 out of 5 stars
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Absurd. Irreverent. A damn good time!
- By Vukodlak on 08-13-20
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Star Wars: Light of the Jedi
- The High Republic
- By: Charles Soule
- Narrated by: Marc Thompson
- Length: 13 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 10,246
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 9,136
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 9,130
It is a golden age. Intrepid hyperspace scouts expand the reach of the Republic to the furthest stars, worlds flourish under the benevolent leadership of the Senate, and peace reigns, enforced by the wisdom and strength of the renowned order of Force users known as the Jedi. With the Jedi at the height of their power, the free citizens of the galaxy are confident in their ability to weather any storm But the even brightest light can cast a shadow, and some storms defy any preparation.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Slow and Boring
- By Jessie on 01-06-21
By: Charles Soule
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Scion of Conquered Earth: A Science Fiction Space Opera Adventure
- By: Michael J. Allen
- Narrated by: A W Dickson
- Length: 13 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 38
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 35
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 35
Alien fighters bombard Earth's ruins. Cannibalistic aerobics instructors hunt the wastes. The last free survivors struggle against starvation and enslavement. It's become a world where friendship costs too dearly and heroics verge on suicide. One young man can't resist either until a fed-up AI steals him off the planet. Alone with only a sarcastic, broken-down starship, he braves a whole new verse full of strange new enemies and tech he barely understands.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Riveting Sci-Fi Adventure
- By Josh Noneya on 08-19-19
By: Michael J. Allen
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HALO: The Fall of Reach
- HALO, Book 1
- By: Eric Nylund
- Narrated by: Todd McLaren
- Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 7,062
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 6,179
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Story5 out of 5 stars 6,164
The 26th century. Humanity has expanded beyond Earth’s system to hundreds of planets that colonists now call home. But the United Earth Government and the United Nations Space Command is struggling to control this vast empire. After exhausting all strategies to keep seething colonial insurrections from exploding into a full-blown interplanetary civil war, the UNSC has one last hope.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Phenomenal story - problematic performance
- By wotsisname on 07-02-19
By: Eric Nylund
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Water World Warrior
- A Sci-Fi Alien Mail Order Bride Romance
- By: Lisa Lace
- Narrated by: Addison Spear, Terrance Bayes
- Length: 5 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 869
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 796
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Story4 out of 5 stars 792
Why would I want to be married to an alien? I should not have applied to TerraMates! The idea was crazy. I'm a young woman, in the prime of my life. But I was desperate. When I landed on another world, his appearance intrigued me. He dripped sexuality and moved like an animal. We have three days together before he sets sail without me. Am I going to escape or submit to my desires?
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5 out of 5 stars
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TerraMates ~ Great Series!
- By Cheri on 05-06-16
By: Lisa Lace
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Archangel Down
- Archangel Project, Book 1
- By: C. Gockel
- Narrated by: Emily Woo Zeller
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 195
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 172
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Story4 out of 5 stars 174
Commander Noa Sato plans a peaceful leave on her home planet, Luddeccea, but winds up interrogated and imprisoned for her involvement in the Archangel Project. A project she knows nothing about. Professor James Sinclair wakes in the snow, not remembering the past 24 hours or knowing why he is being pursued. The only thing he knows is that he has to find Commander Sato, a woman he's never met.
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3 out of 5 stars
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hysterics
- By Amazon Customer on 10-07-16
By: C. Gockel
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Elite: Mostly Harmless
- Elite: Dangerous
- By: Kate Russell
- Narrated by: Kate Russell
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 151
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 136
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Story4 out of 5 stars 133
Commander Angel Rose, forced into a life of crime due to circumstances beyond her control, is determined to survive in the unforgiving void as a professional assassin. Will she be forced into the ignominy of moving back in with her parents when her efforts fail to leave her with credit-earning blood on her hands? After years of galactic travel, could Angel's destiny be to end up drinking cheap liquor in a bar in Slough?
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4 out of 5 stars
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An entertainingly told tale.
- By Green on 01-14-17
By: Kate Russell
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Birthright
- Book I of the Temujin Saga
- By: Adam J. Whitlatch
- Narrated by: Jeff Hays
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 47
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 43
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Story4 out of 5 stars 46
Alien warmongers have cloned an ancient emperor to lead an unstoppable army. Gifted with superhuman powers and advanced technology, he sets his sights on his home planet, Earth, and then...the stars!
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4 out of 5 stars
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a lighthearted adventure, science fiction novel
- By Midwestbonsai on 07-22-16
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Razor's Edge
- Star Wars: Empire and Rebellion, Book 1
- By: Martha Wells
- Narrated by: January LaVoy
- Length: 9 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 822
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 765
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Story4 out of 5 stars 764
Times are desperate for the Rebel Alliance. Harassment by the Empire and a shortage of vital supplies are hindering completion of a new secret base on the ice planet Hoth. So when Mid Rim merchants offer much-needed materials for sale, Princess Leia Organa and Han Solo lead an Alliance delegation to negotiate a deal. But when treachery forces the rebel ship to flee into territory controlled by pirates, Leia makes a shocking discovery: The fierce marauders come from Leia's homeworld of Alderaan, recently destroyed by the Death Star.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Not the typical Star Wars Book
- By Mara on 11-06-13
By: Martha Wells
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Hecate
- Serengeti Series, Book 0
- By: J. B. Rockwell
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Wiley
- Length: 12 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 88
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 84
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 84
Black Ops - the intelligence arm of the Meridian Alliance Fleet came calling with an offer Henricksen couldn't refuse: a ship - an entire squadron of ships, actually - and crew to command. A chance to get back to the stars. Too bad he didn't ask more questions before accepting the assignment. Too bad no one told him just how dangerous this particular skunkworks project was. They call the ship the RV-N: Reconnaissance Vessel-Non-combat, Raven for short. A stealth ship - fast, and maneuverable, and brutal as hell.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A Prequel
- By Jean on 12-03-17
By: J. B. Rockwell
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City of Shattered Light
- By: Claire Winn
- Narrated by: Sarah Beth Pfeifer
- Length: 13 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 29
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 25
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 25
As heiress to a powerful tech empire, 17-year-old Asa Almeida strives to prove she's more than her manipulative father's shadow. But when he uploads her rebellious sister's mind to an experimental brain, Asa will do anything to save her sister from reprogramming - including fleeing her predetermined future with her sister's digitized mind in tow. With a bounty on her head and a rogue AI hunting her, Asa's getaway ship crash-lands in the worst possible place: the neon-drenched outlaw paradise Requiem.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A fun cyberpunk tale.
- By Syd on 04-19-23
By: Claire Winn
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Elite: Tales from the Frontier
- Elite: Dangerous, Book 7
- By: Chris Booker, Darren Grey, Tim Gayda, and others
- Narrated by: Toby Longworth, Penelope McDonald
- Length: 16 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 132
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 115
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 115
Enjoy 15 scintillating tales in this eclectic collection where characters seek honor, truth, retribution, and in one case, a place to sell 300-year-old Lavian brandy.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Awesome good to follow stories!
- By chris on 06-27-16
By: Chris Booker, and others
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Star Trek: Best Destiny (Adapted)
- By: Diane Carey
- Narrated by: James Doohan
- Length: 2 hrs and 51 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 82
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 77
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 78
As James T. Kirk prepares to retire from a long and illustrious Starfleet career, events in a distant part of the Federation draw him back to a part of the galaxy he had last visited as a young man, a mysterious world called Faramond whose name takes Kirk on a journey back to his youth. At 16, Kirk is troubled, estranged from his father, and has a bleak future. However, a trip into space with Kirk's father, George, and Starfleet legend Captain Robert April changes James Kirk's life forever, when a simple voyage becomes a deadly trap.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Abridged book but still good
- By PettyDon2578 on 06-19-18
By: Diane Carey
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Doctor Who: The Monsters Inside
- By: Stephen Cole
- Narrated by: Camille Coduri
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 70
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 66
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Story4 out of 5 stars 67
The ‘Tardis’ takes the Doctor and Rose to a destination in deep space - Justicia, a prison camp stretched over seven planets, where Earth colonies deal with their criminals. While Rose finds herself locked up in a teenage borstal, the Doctor is trapped in a scientific labour camp. Each is determined to find the other, and soon both Rose and the Doctor are risking life and limb to escape in their distinctive styles. But their dangerous plans are complicated by some old enemies.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Mediocre story, excellent narrator
- By Annissa on 04-02-13
By: Stephen Cole
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Starship Freedom
- Starship Freedom, Book 1
- By: Daniel Arenson
- Narrated by: Kyf Brewer
- Length: 12 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 820
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 776
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Story4 out of 5 stars 770
The starship Freedom was once a mighty warship. Today, she's a tourist attraction. The space wars ended long ago. The Freedom is now a flying museum; the tourists love it. The Changing of the Guard, the starfighter aerobatics, the starboard cannon salute...it's the best show in the galaxy. James King commands the starship Freedom. He hates his job. He was a real soldier once, back when the Freedom was a real warship. He never imagined himself running a tourist trap. Right after Christmas, he plans to retire. Then, on Christmas day, the aliens attack.
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1 out of 5 stars
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What a disappointment
- By James E Nunn on 06-19-21
By: Daniel Arenson
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Exiled Fleet
- Publisher's Pack (Books 1-2)
- By: Richard Fox
- Narrated by: Mark Boyett
- Length: 14 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,335
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,076
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,064
Book 1: Albion Lost: For centuries, the Daegon waited. They plotted. And now they are ready to strike. The core worlds of settled space enjoy a tenuous peace, unaware and ill prepared for the threat building beyond the furthest reaches of humanity. The star kingdom of Albion stands as a shining light of justice and mercy in a harsh galaxy, and they will be the first to suffer the Daegon's fury. Book 2: The Long March: Commodore Thomas Gage and his fleet, safeguarding the last of the Albion Royal Family, are on the run.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Very good series ... so far
- By Sailfish on 10-23-17
By: Richard Fox
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The Awakening
- The Hyperscape Project, Book 1
- By: Donald Swan
- Narrated by: Meral Mathews
- Length: 8 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 78
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 69
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 69
Enemy activity had fallen into an eerie calm, but everyone felt the coming storm - a terrible storm, poised to unleash its fury upon the galaxy. It seemed as though the entire universe was holding its breath. Waiting. Whether waiting for the salvation of mankind or its demise was yet unclear.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Non-SciFi SciFi
- By John C. on 07-19-14
By: Donald Swan
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Doctor Who: Prisoner of the Daleks
- By: Trevor Baxendale
- Narrated by: Nicholas Briggs
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 94
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 81
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 83
The Daleks are advancing, their empire expanding into Earth's space. The Earth forces are resisting in every way they can. But the battles rage on across countless solar systems. And now the future of our galaxy hangs in the balance.... The Doctor finds himself stranded on board a starship near the frontline with a group of ruthless bounty hunters.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Tired of the sunny disposition of th Walking Dead?
- By K. Kilbourne on 04-19-14
By: Trevor Baxendale