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Publisher's Summary

"You bitch, you killed me. You suck!"

Being dead sucks. Make that being undead sucks.

Literally. Just ask Thomas C. Flood. Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he's ever experienced, he discovers that his girlfriend, Jody, the woman of his dreams, is a vampire. And surprise! Now he's one, too.

For some couples, the whole biting-and-blood thing would have been a deal breaker. But Tommy and Jody are in love, and they vow to work through their issues. Like how much Jody should teach Tommy about his new superpowers (and how much he needs to learn on his own). Plus there's Tommy's cute new minion, 16-year-old goth girl Abby Normal. (Well, someone has to run errands during daylight hours!)

Making the relationship work, however, is the least of Jody and Tommy's problems. Word has it that the vampire who nibbled on Jody wasn't supposed to be recruiting any new members into the club. Even worse, Tommy's erstwhile turkey-bowling pals are out to get him, at the urging of a blue-dyed Las Vegas call-girl named (duh) Blue.

And that really sucks.

Love in vein: listen to more vampire fiction.
©2007 Christopher Moore (P)2007 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic Reviews

"A cheerfully perverse, gut-busting tale of young vampires in love....Moore writes with the jittery energy of a brilliant, charming class clown, mixing sex and gore and a potty mouth with a goofy-sweet sensibility to deliver laughs on nearly every page." (Publishers Weekly)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings


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  • Overall
  • Deborah
  • Kenmore, NY, USA
  • 09-14-08

Do They Give Awards For "Best Reader"?

I'm not at all surprised to have enjoyed this yarn - Christopher Moore's twisted plots and California Speak dialogue is impossible to resist, even at its least inspired. What did surprise me was how much this book benefitted from being read aloud by Susan Bennett. The ease with which Ms. Bennett switches from one urban California accent to another is simply amazing. From Hispanic Cop to Goth Valley Girl to Chinese Granny Just Off The Boat to Jock Doofus to African-American MBA, you name it-Bennett can mimic it to perfection. This woman needs an exclusive contract to record ALL of Christopher Moore's works - nobody else can do him complete justice.

16 of 16 people found this review helpful

  • Overall

Funny, Sad, and well done!

Heard "You Suck" on XM radio, bought all 3 audios. Gotta start with Bloodsucking Fiends, then You Suck, and last Bite Me. ALL 3 were great. Susan Bennett is super reading this to you! Money well spent!

9 of 9 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
  • Brian
  • sandy, UT, United States
  • 01-29-07

Like visiting old friends

I really enjoyed this book. The story races along at a breakneck pace mixing both action and comedy. Christopher Moore does such a good job creating life like characters that it is easy to enter this story and suspend belief in the supernatural. The narrator does an incredible job of giving voice to all the characters.

18 of 19 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
  • Virgil
  • Independence, KY, USA
  • 02-01-07

This book almost got me fired--lol

This is a great book, great reading, and literally laugh out loud funny. I generally listen to Audio books while working, I have a multi-track mind so they help me focus.
Serveral parts of this book made me laugh out loud as my boss passed by

8 of 8 people found this review helpful

  • Overall

I'm poor and someone shaved my huge cat

It's probably helpful if you've first read "Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story" for the story's background, but unfortunately it's not available here on Audible.

And if you're looking for a profound, and deeply spiritual or intellectually stimulating novel, this isn't it. In fact, if you're looking for a book with a plot, well... this ain't got much of one. If you're looking for something light and funny, this is a great choice.

Jody and Tommy are a pair of newly made vampires struggling with being bloodsucking fiends without compromising their ethics or getting staked by their friends. There's a nice crossover with the more intense "A Dirty Job," and The Emperor of San Fransisco (and his Royal Guard) have a prominent presence. Add to that a blue hooker who sees vampirism as a way out of her own dirty job, and a goth girl's infatuation with anything dead that keeps walking. The narrator's performance of Abby Normal's journals is alone worth the price of the book!

11 of 12 people found this review helpful

  • Overall

Talented Narrator

Susan Bennett has a facility with voices that brings these wacky characters to life. New to Christopher Moore, but a long time fan of Hiaasen and Robbins, I started with Coyote Blue and loved it, went to A Dirty Job and loved that, so I went to Blood Sucking Fiends and directly to You Suck and had a simply marvelous time. Good writing, good reading, wildly eccentric characters and a lot of fun.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
  • Maria
  • Brighton, CO, USA
  • 03-23-08

Glad I hung in there.

At first I could not get into the book and I was irritated with the reader's performance. Most of the characters in this book are young adults that I would not like my own kids to sound like. However, I am glad to say that this was not at all a waste of my time. This is the second Christopher Moore book I have listened to and his absurd but witty outlook shines. I even got to like the narrator's performance once I realized that it went well with the author's view. I especially enjoyed the Abbie Normal Chronicles. Hilarious.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • Overall


This book had high expectations to meet because of how much I liked A Dirty Job. At first I was VERY disappointed that Fisher Stevens wasn't the narrator but it soon became clear that the book was in good hands. It's a fun story and it goes fast. Not quite as good as his last book, but still wonderful.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • Overall

Getting it straight

For folks looking at this one and at Blood Sucking Fiends with some confusion, this is the sequel to BSF. Although I thought BSF ended with more to say, I had a hard time initialy with YS--wasn't as much to say as I thought--until the Abbie character is introduced. Those who are wondering where the book is going early, hang on, it's worth the wait. The "Chronicles of Abbie Normal" allow Moore to get back to being his hilarious self and revive the narrative. Another interesting twist is the intertwining of some of the characters from another excellent Moore opus, A Dirty Job, with these nutjobs and freaks. Seems natural, given the locale and the consistent death theme. I highly recommend all three of these, but be sure to stay in order. BSF, YS, then ADJ.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
  • Performance
  • Story

Vampire Love

This is a great continuation of the witty humor in the first book toward the children of the night. Abby Normal, perky goth girl, was a surprisingly welcome addition to the story that fleshed it out and made me laugh. All in all it is a great tale if Vampire love and all the craziness that comes with it.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful