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The Half-Assed Wizard Audiobook

The Half-Assed Wizard: Book 1

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Publisher's Summary

A couple of jerks wake me up at the crack of noon. Seems my klepto uncle stole an ancient deck of Tarot cards from a high-powered wizard, and too many losers want to ruin my day to get them back.

The cards are cool, so I check them out, but my magic-happy cousin, Sabrina, tells me I'm not supposed to touch them. Oops. Too late. Now the damn cards are tuned to me, and if someone else wants to use them, I have to die. Why couldn't she have led with that information?

Magic was never my scene, but my dad is one of the most powerful wizards in the world, so I've got unrealized potential if I ever bother to apply myself. I'd rather power nap, but with wizards, gunslingers, and cannibalistic shark dudes coming at me, that's not gonna happen.

They say I'm a half-assed wizard, but if I don't play my cards right, I'm gonna get my whole ass killed.

©2017 Gary Jonas (P)2017 Gary Jonas

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.6 (39 )
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4.5 (39 )
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4.9 (39 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Rabid Reader 09-18-17
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Entertaining and humorous"

    This is an quick, entertaining and amusing story. Brett is the third son of a powerful wizard, but he resents his families expectations and has sailed through life as a lazy, rich kid who would rather sleep, party and play music, than have anything to do with magic or work. His easy life is turned upside down when he opens a package his uncle sent and chaos ensues from then on. Generally Brett is an indolent, smartass who is only concerned with himself, but somehow you can not help but like him as he is reluctantly dragged into the wizarding business. Magic, ancient tarot cards, shark people and a meat eating rug, combined with lots of action and dry, sarcastic humour make the story both entertaining and fun. The narrator captures the characters well and he is a master at sarcasm. He easily pulls you into the fast paced action and humour of the story and brings it all to life. I enjoyed this engaging audiobook and will look forward to seeing how Brett and his magic progress in the next book.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Yvonne Southfield, mi, United States 09-15-17
    Yvonne Southfield, mi, United States 09-15-17 Member Since 2015
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    Story
    "Applaud Gary Jones has done it again!"

    Brett is a spoil little rich boy with daddy issues. He is the third child in a family of magicians. The birth order of being the third child was mentioned but not explained. He is the only family member who uses technology instead of magic. You must use an amount of your blood to activate your magic. His cousin bites inside of her cheek to use fire on her finger. Brett comes back with a Bic lighter. It offers more lights with no blood sacrifice.

    His is a band member who can only play three chords. He has a magical guitar pic that in imbue with magical properties. His laziness, is illustrates by not investing the time to learn how to play a guitar.

    Situations arise and Brett must meet the challenge or take a nap; yep he does choose to nap. Despite Brett’s views on magic, there is plenty of magical action. He is a character faced with an opportunity to grow up or shut up in the following books.

    There is a unique set of paranormal creatures called Mako Clansman. They are men who can swim, they are birthed from the water, and have shark’s teeth. There are vampires; his friend Michael is one. Micheal is so cool with his dark glasses and getting women hooked on him. His father is the most powerful wizard in the world and they cannot stand to be in the same room together.

    I got this book on Kindle free. I went to Audible to see if Gary Jonas had anything new when I noticed this on audio. I literally had the Kindle version open in my lap and ordered the audio to finish the story. I am currently reading the next on in the series on Kindle.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    erobbins33 09-12-17
    erobbins33 09-12-17 Member Since 2017
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Well done!"

    Fast-paced and fun, this new series is now firmly entrenched in my must-read list. Brett, the lovable slacker, and his vampire friend face many hardships, while drinking like pirates and making magical music. Hempel did a great job with the narration, and I fell right into the story. Five stars all across the board.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Tyler U. 10-17-17
    Tyler U. 10-17-17
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    "Short but great beginning to a new series"

    I was given this free review copy audio book at my request and have voluntarily left this review.

    The Half-Assed Wizard was tremendously entertaining. I loved that the slacker of a main character is not given any, well, slack from his friends for being a likable, if lazy friend. I did feel it was too short, but it certainly left me wanting more. Joe Hempel is an awesome narrator and did not disappoint.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    alias11 10-16-17
    alias11 10-16-17
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    "Funny and Entertaining Listen"

    Fun look at a VERY dysfunctional magical family. I really enjoyed the casual attitude of the slacker wizard and I loved Michael's character. This audiobook was laugh out loud funny in places, although the story itself was a little hard to follow sometimes with the characters switching sides and acting under false pretenses. Regardless, it was all a heck of a lot of fun, and I am looking forward to the next book.

    The narration was great. Joe did a fantastic job giving different voices to the different characters. The pacing and delivery were excellent. I enjoyed listening to the audiobook more than I think I would have reading the book myself.

    I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Felisha 10-12-17
    Felisha 10-12-17
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Not much, but Entertaining"

    The plot wasn't too complicated and the characters not well developed but Gary Jonas created an easy to listen to novel. If you're looking for something to just throw on to pass the time, this book is for you.

    Joel Hempel's narration was great. Pace was perfect and nothing was over the top. I'll be looking for other genres he's produced.

    Overall, an ok book but not something I would recommend to friends.

    This audiobook was given in exchange for an honest review.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Tiffany 10-11-17
    Tiffany 10-11-17 Member Since 2017
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    "Wonderful beginning to the new series"

    Love the snark between the characters. I think napping should be a profession. Another wonderful performance by Mr. Hempel. I received this audiobook for free through Audiobook Boom for my unbiased review.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    mandy 10-10-17
    mandy 10-10-17 Member Since 2017
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Great!"

    Hilarious, unique and perfect narration - this was a fantastic audio book!


    **I received a copy of this audio book in exchange for an honest review**

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    lynda 10-09-17
    lynda 10-09-17
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    "A Great Listen"

    I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request, and have voluntarily left this review. This is a very intriguing audiobook. The main character life is turned upside down. There is a lot of action and humour as he puts it right. The heroes and villians are very unique. Definitely worth the listen and I'll be listening to book 2.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    James Powderly, KY, United States 10-08-17
    James Powderly, KY, United States 10-08-17 Member Since 2014
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Better than half-assed"

    Good listen from Jonas and Hempel. There are a lot of urban fantasy books with snarky characters, sometimes they work and sometimes they don't. Fortunately, this one works. Hempel is really good with all the voices. The story is good for a 1st in a series. Main character was just a little too nonchalant, but it worked overall. Looking forward to the next one.

    “I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher.”

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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  • I. Fenton
    Cardiff, Wales
    9/24/17
    Overall
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    Story
    "Four and a half hours of fun."

    Both author and narrator are new to me but they certainly kept me entertained for four and a half hours with this wonderful Urban Fantasy. The main character was not one that I would normally enjoy at all, but somehow I found myself wanting him to succeed and beat the bad guys. I think that both the writer and the narrator were instumental in making me feel this way, and I'm not sure if I would have enjoyed the book half as much as I did, without Joe Hempel bringing Gary Jonas' words to life. I highly recommend both narrator and author to anyone looking for an entertaining, whimsical, and intense Urban Fantasy read.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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