Regular price: $34.22
People start dropping dead around Charlie, giant ravens perch on his building, and it seems that everywhere he goes, a dark presence whispers to him from under the streets. Strange names start appearing on his nightstand notepad, and before he knows it, those people end up dead, too. Yup, it seems that Charlie Asher has been recruited for a new job, an unpleasant but utterly necessary one: Death.
Take a wonderfully crazed excursion into the demented heart of a tropical paradise - a world of cargo cults, cannibals, mad scientists, ninjas, and talking fruit bats. Our bumbling hero is Tucker Case, a hopeless geek trapped in a cool guy's body, who makes a living as a pilot for the Mary Jean Cosmetics Corporation.
Pocket has been Lear's cherished fool for years. So naturally Pocket is at his brainless, elderly liege's side when Lear demands that his kids swear to him their undying love and devotion. Of course Goneril and Regan are only too happy to brownnose Dad. But Cordelia believes that her father's request is kind of...well...stupid, and her blunt honesty ends up costing her her rightful share of the kingdom and earns her a banishment to boot.
A striking red-head, 20-something Jody is attacked and transformed into a vampire while walking home one night in downtown San Francisco. Befriending 19-year-old Tommy, Jody tries to understand her new undead life, but trouble finds her when the cops start suspecting Tommy of being a local bloodsucking serial killer.
In Christopher Moore's ingenious debut novel, we meet one of the most memorably mismatched pairs in the annals of literature. The good-looking one is one-hundred-year-old ex-seminarian and "roads" scholar Travis O'Hearn. The green one is Catch, a demon with a nasty habit of eating most of the people he meets.
In July 1890, Vincent van Gogh went into a cornfield and shot himself. Or did he? Why would an artist at the height of his creative powers attempt to take his life... and then walk a mile to a doctor's house for help? Who was the crooked little "color man" Vincent had claimed was stalking him across France? And why had the painter recently become deathly afraid of a certain shade of blue? These are just a few of the questions confronting Vincent's friends who vow to discover the truth of van Gogh's untimely death.
People start dropping dead around Charlie, giant ravens perch on his building, and it seems that everywhere he goes, a dark presence whispers to him from under the streets. Strange names start appearing on his nightstand notepad, and before he knows it, those people end up dead, too. Yup, it seems that Charlie Asher has been recruited for a new job, an unpleasant but utterly necessary one: Death.
Take a wonderfully crazed excursion into the demented heart of a tropical paradise - a world of cargo cults, cannibals, mad scientists, ninjas, and talking fruit bats. Our bumbling hero is Tucker Case, a hopeless geek trapped in a cool guy's body, who makes a living as a pilot for the Mary Jean Cosmetics Corporation.
Pocket has been Lear's cherished fool for years. So naturally Pocket is at his brainless, elderly liege's side when Lear demands that his kids swear to him their undying love and devotion. Of course Goneril and Regan are only too happy to brownnose Dad. But Cordelia believes that her father's request is kind of...well...stupid, and her blunt honesty ends up costing her her rightful share of the kingdom and earns her a banishment to boot.
A striking red-head, 20-something Jody is attacked and transformed into a vampire while walking home one night in downtown San Francisco. Befriending 19-year-old Tommy, Jody tries to understand her new undead life, but trouble finds her when the cops start suspecting Tommy of being a local bloodsucking serial killer.
In Christopher Moore's ingenious debut novel, we meet one of the most memorably mismatched pairs in the annals of literature. The good-looking one is one-hundred-year-old ex-seminarian and "roads" scholar Travis O'Hearn. The green one is Catch, a demon with a nasty habit of eating most of the people he meets.
In July 1890, Vincent van Gogh went into a cornfield and shot himself. Or did he? Why would an artist at the height of his creative powers attempt to take his life... and then walk a mile to a doctor's house for help? Who was the crooked little "color man" Vincent had claimed was stalking him across France? And why had the painter recently become deathly afraid of a certain shade of blue? These are just a few of the questions confronting Vincent's friends who vow to discover the truth of van Gogh's untimely death.
Just why do humpback whales sing? That's the question that has marine behavioral biologist Nate Quinn and his crew poking, charting, recording, and photographing very big, wet, gray marine mammals - until the extraordinary day when a whale lifts its tail into the air to display a cryptic message spelled out in foot-high letters: Bite Me.
With New York Times best-sellers like Bloodsucking Fiends to his credit, Christopher Moore has developed a devoted cult following. Coyote Blue introduces Samuel Hunter, a young man who's running from his past while being tormented by an ancient Crow God with a talent for mischief.
It's not every afternoon that an enigmatic, comely blonde named Stilton (like the cheese) walks into the scruffy gin joint where Sammy "Two Toes" Tiffin tends bar. It's love at first sight, but before Sammy can make his move, an air force general named Remy arrives with some urgent business. 'Cause when you need something done, Sammy is the guy to go to; he's got the connections on the street.
The world will end on Saturday. Next Saturday. Just before dinner, according to The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch, the world's only completely accurate book of prophecies, written in 1655. The armies of Good and Evil are amassing and everything appears to be going according to Divine Plan. Except that a somewhat fussy angel and a fast-living demon are not actually looking forward to the coming Rapture. And someone seems to have misplaced the Antichrist.
Steve is hell's super, its handyman. Being Mr. Fixit to the underworld keeps him and his assistant, Orson Welles (yes, that Orson Welles), pretty busy, since things go on the blink all the time down there. No malfunction has ever created so much inconvenience, though, as the malfunction of hell's escalator, which leads from the pearly gates to the depths of Hades. What's worse: The breakdown appears to be sabotage.
A farang is dead and the Bangkok police have a confession the next morning from a young paint-thinner addict. He claims he killed Ben Hoadly, an expat Brit, but Calvino has his doubts when he sees heavy bruises on the kid's face. In no time, Calvino is working both sides, out to find the killer for Hoadly's wealthy father, and eager to clear the addict's name for a beautiful friend who runs a charity in the slums.
It's a simple story. Boy finds proof that reality is a computer program. Boy uses program to manipulate time and space. Boy gets in trouble. Boy flees back in time to Medieval England to live as a wizard while he tries to think of a way to fix things. Boy gets in more trouble. Oh, and boy meets girl at some point.
A century ago, the Sentience Wars tore the galaxy apart and nearly ended the entire concept of intelligent space-faring life. In the aftermath, a curious tradition was invented - something to cheer up everyone who was left and bring the shattered worlds together in the spirit of peace, unity, and understanding. Once every cycle, the civilizations gather for the Metagalactic Grand Prix - part gladiatorial contest, part beauty pageant, part concert extravaganza, and part continuation of the wars of the past.
A magical serial killer is on the loose, and gelatinous, otherworldly creatures are infesting the English countryside. Which is making life for the Ministry of Occultism difficult, because magic is supposed to be their best kept secret. After centuries in the shadows, the Ministry is forced to unmask, exposing the country's magical history - and magical citizens - to a brave new world of social media, government scrutiny, and public relations.
HBO's Emmy-winning Last Week Tonight with John Oliver presents the story of a Very Special boy bunny who falls in love with another boy bunny. Meet Marlon Bundo, a lonely bunny who lives with his Grampa, Mike Pence - the Vice President of the United States. But on this Very Special Day, Marlon's life is about to change forever....
Not too long from today, a new, highly contagious virus makes its way across the globe. Most who get sick experience nothing worse than flu, fever, and headaches. But for the unlucky one percent - and nearly five million souls in the United States alone - the disease causes "Lock In": Victims fully awake and aware, but unable to move or respond to stimulus. The disease affects young, old, rich, poor, people of every color and creed. The world changes to meet the challenge.
Locked behind bars for three years, Shadow did his time, quietly waiting for the day when he could return to Eagle Point, Indiana. A man no longer scared of what tomorrow might bring, all he wanted was to be with Laura, the wife he deeply loved, and start a new life. But just days before his release, Laura and Shadow's best friend are killed in an accident. With his life in pieces and nothing to keep him tethered, Shadow accepts a job from a beguiling stranger he meets on the way home, an enigmatic man who calls himself Mr. Wednesday.
Verily, the story Biff has to tell is a miraculous one, filled with remarkable journeys, magic, healings, kung fu, corpse reanimations, demons, and hot babes. Even the considerable wiles and devotion of the Savior's pal may not be enough to divert Joshua from his tragic destiny. But there's no one who loves Josh more (except maybe "Maggie," Mary of Magdalan) and Biff isn't about to let his extraordinary pal suffer and ascend without a fight.
"Moore...gets style points for his wild imagination as Biff recalls his journey with Jesus...into and out of the clutches of Balthasar, then into a Buddhist monastery in China and finally off to India, where they dabble in the spiritual and erotic aspects of Hinduism. The author gets more serious in his climax, offering a relatively straightforward, heartfelt account of the Passion and Christ's final days that includes an intriguing spin on how the Resurrection might have happened." (Publishers Weekly)
"An instant classic...terrific, funny, and poignant." (Rocky Mountain News)
After many laughs in the first 10 minutes, I couldn't believe this book could contain 15 hours of worthwhile listening. Currently at hour 13, I can't believe the journey I have taken with J.F.C. and Biff -- experiencing wonders of the East and loving the bibilical references that have me chuckling every minute - sometimes several times a minute. As a semi-learned bibilcal scholar, I found the author's creativity to be brilliant! For example - did you know how chinese food became tradition on J.C.'s b-day? Or how bunnies became associated with bad J.C. days? Now you will.
I'm very impressed Moore could put so many humorous references for such an epistle! Perfect for a long drive, or a whole weekend of cooking for Easter dinner! Best in a couple long segments rather than several smaller segments!
44 of 48 people found this review helpful
I was skeptical of this book. I thought, how dare someone write their own version of events?! But I decided to have an open mind, after all, I absolutely loved "A Dirty Job". So, here's Biff & Josh (Jesus) growing up in Jerusalem. They have a typical childhood, just two young boys growing up in Roman controlled Israel. Getting into typical little boy mischief with the Roman guards, going to school together, and both having a crush on the same girl (Mary of Magdalen) ; with the exception that Josh must deal with being The Messiah. He knows he's The Messiah, because his Mother won't let him forget, being the stereo-typical Jewish Mother that she is.
Finally Josh and Biff come of age, and it's time for Josh to figure out what exactly a Messiah is supposed to do. So, off they go to find The Three Wise Men. Along the way, they learn the ways of the Buddhists, Hindu's and even walk into a cult sacrifice ceremony, before finally returning home.
I have to say here, that through out all of their adventures, Josh remains true to who and what he is. The one thing I liked most about this book is the believability. Reading the Bible, many of the Gospels are almost surreal, and the speech difficult to understand. Moore brings everything down to Earth, gives Jesus errrr I mean Josh, a personality that fits, just a down to earth man who happens to be the Son of God, and can heal the sick, raise the dead, etc... Even conversations that took place in The Bible are brought down to earth, and written in such a manner that allows one to actually believe that is the way they would have gone down. So, was the book Blasphemous, or righteous? Well, since it never really deviated from actual events, I would have to say righteous. One just need to keep an open mind while reading, or listening as the case may be.
47 of 52 people found this review helpful
This is a favorite book of mine. Biff is Jesus' best childhood friend, and Biff has been raised from the dead to write his witness of Jesus' young life. Problem is, Biff is a real smart-arse. Typical of Christopher More, there is plenty of chuckles. Fortunately for us, it's better written than anything else he's written. I've given this book to friends of different faiths, both liberal and conservative, and did not O-ffend. Fisher Steven's narration is a bit scratchy, but you get past it. The witness account of Biff is funny, touching, moving and lasting.
46 of 51 people found this review helpful
OK - I know that heading is way too corny but you should be thankful you don't have to read the other ones I came up with :) I LOVE LOVE LOVE this book - I'm on my 3rd listen since I used my very first Audible credit to get it - over 100 books later I still rate it in my top 5 of all time! If you are religious in an "uptight-don't-make-jokes-about-the-Bible-or-you-will-burn-in hell" way then you probably won't like it - a sense of humor is a requirement for this one. I think Jesus would have laughed his ass off reading this - so lighten up already and enjoy the holy genius that Christopher Moore has to offer.
25 of 28 people found this review helpful
I am not even finished and I've told anybody that will listen to listen to this book. I know that when people see me driving in the car they probably think I've lost my mind because I'm laughing uncontrollably at some of this stuff.
5 of 5 people found this review helpful
I am in love with book. I downloaded it on a whim, and then avoided it for a while, not really sure if I wanted to listen to a book that some might deem a bit iffy in how it dealt with the life of Christ.
Boy, am I glad I listened to it. This book, more than anything I've read or listened to in church growing up, really made me step back and look at my faith and the life of Christ/Joshua in a completely different way. Highly irreverent, extremely witty and chock full of laugh moments, "Lamb" made me step back and look at Joshua as a real person with real issues and emotions for the first time.
How can you not love Biff? He's eccentric, selfish and carnal - but his heart is 100% with his friends. We could all use a friend like that.
I know people have written that they weren't too keen on Stevens' narrative - but I LOVED it. I think he did an excellent job - especially with Joshua's voice.
Two thumbs up! And great for traveling across Texas!
22 of 25 people found this review helpful
I read my first Christopher Moore book when "A Dirty Job" was released. Since then, I have read EVERYTHING he has published. I absolutely love his stuff. He is one of the most entertaining writers I have had the pleasure of coming across. "Lamb" is definitely one of my favorites. The first time I read it, I laughed so hard I cried. When I saw that it was finally offered on Audible, I had to get it. Again, I laughed until I cried. The story of Christ's lost years from the perspective of Biff is so incredibly blasphemus that I am sure Moore will go to Hell for it, but hopefully God will give him a glass of water to take along for the trip just because Moore made people laugh. Maybe the Devil will let Catch keep him company (in his non-eating form, of coarse). I'd give this 10 stars if I could. This is a must read, but you have to go into it with an open mind and leave any preconceived notions about Jesus Christ behind. Remember, IT'S A COMEDY AND IT'S FICTION!!!!! Once you get past that, enjoy the wild ride.
20 of 23 people found this review helpful
The first thirty to forty-five minutes of this book, I wasn't sure how I felt, but as I got pulled into the story more and more, I loved it. The narrator's voice is perfect for the main character and the story gets better as Biff and Jesus travel around the world learning different philosophies.
Some of the jokes are a little low brow, but it works and it's funny.
It's one of those books you listen to and are sad when it's over.
I thoroughly enjoyed it and do recomend it to others.
16 of 19 people found this review helpful
Would you listen to Lamb again? Why?
I actually listened to Lamb twice in a row. I mean, I finished listening on the way to work one day, and I started over from the beginning on my way home. I didn't want the story to end.
What was one of the most memorable moments of Lamb?
On Passover night, when Maggie (Mary Magdalene) anointed Joshua's feet with oil, I cried so hard I almost couldn't see the road (as I was driving to work). It was one of the most beautiful and touching renditions of the story I've ever heard.
What about Fisher Stevens’s performance did you like?
I think it's definitely tricky to tell a story about the life of Jesus without making it sound cliche or just totally sacrilegious, and I believe that Christopher Moore did a fantastic job with that (although I'm sure some will heatedly disagree with me), but in addition, Fisher Stevens did an amazing job of keeping the lightheartedness, the humanity, and the love well delivered throughout the story. He does an excellent rendition of a Jewish mother to be sure. His interpretation of the friendship between Biff and Joshua was inspired.
If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?
Sex, Lies, and Matza: Second-coming this Passover to a theater near you.
Any additional comments?
I think Mel Brooks could film the hell out of this book.
7 of 8 people found this review helpful
The story of Jesus' missing years - his adolesence and early adulthood - is here told by his decidedly worldly best friend, Biff. Don't worry; it's not disrespectful. It's actually joyous, in its own hilarious way. The idea that Christ had a sense of humor was a huge theological heresy in the 13th century. It shouldn't be so today. As on "A Dirty Job", also by Moore, Fisher Stevens (the narrator) is really, really good. He completely inhabits the prose and totally sells it. I wish he had narrated all of Mr Moore's books.
10 of 12 people found this review helpful