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Bite Me Audiobook

Bite Me: A Love Story

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Publisher's Summary

"The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge, shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public. Whoa. And this is a love story? Yup.

"‘Cept there’s no whining. See, while some lovers were born to run, Jody and Tommy were born to bite. Well, reborn, that is, now that they're vampires. Good thing theirs is an undying love, since their Goth Girl Friday, Abby Normal, imprisoned them in a bronze statue. Abby wants to be a blood sucking fiend, too, but right now she’s really busy with other stuff, like breaking in a pair of red vinyl thigh-high Skankenstein® platform boots and wrangling her Ph.D.-candidate boyfriend, Steve (the love monkey). And then there’s that vampire cat Chet, who’s getting bigger and smarter—and thirstier—by the minute. Abby thought she and Steve could handle the kitty cat on their own, mais non."

Before you can say “OMG! WTF?” Tommy and Jody are sprung from captivity, and join forces with Abby, Steve, the frozen-turkey-bowling Safeway crew, the Emperor of San Francisco and his trusty dogs Lazarus and Bummer, Abby’s gay Goth friend Jared, and SF’s finest Cavuto and Rivera to hunt big cat and save the city. And that’s when the fun really begins.

©2010 Christopher Moore (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers

What the Critics Say

"Moore’s most hysterical ‘love story’ to date." (Booklist)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.4 (2086 )
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4.6 (1276 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Eugenia Chatsworth, CA, US 09-02-10
    Eugenia Chatsworth, CA, US 09-02-10 Member Since 2009
    HELPFUL VOTES
    523
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    "So I'm Like...I like this!"

    Like okay, okay, so I'm like Mistress Of the Night Abby finally got to me and she's like doing the booty dance and I go okay okay I really got used to you and this third book was pretty awesome and I'm like cool dude listen to it.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amanda R 08-12-10
    Amanda R 08-12-10 Member Since 2010
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Interesting Voice Choice, but overall good story."

    I liked the book but it was a bit over the top on the vocal choice for the character Abby Normal. It was not so bad for the second book, You Suck, because she was not the primary character but Bite Me is written from her perspective for about 80% of the book. That being said, it did have a good story line and I would recommend it for those who like the writing styles of Christopher Moore.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    P. J. Benyei 08-09-10 Listener Since 2007
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    "Nice to see Jodi and Tommy again"

    I am a huge fan of Christopher Moore. Bloodsucking Fiends and You Suck are two of my favorites. This is not as good as either of the first two books in the story line. If I weren't already attached to the emperor and his man, the animals, Jodi and Tommy and Abby, their minion, I wouldn't have enjoyed it, but since I feel like they are buddies who I haven't seen in a while I wanted to hear the next chapter in their lives. If you are already a fan, buy the audiobook and don't expect too much. Its interesting enough and we already know Moore tends to be a little off the wall, and his characters have irritating silly Cali accents. If you didn't love the first two books, dont bother with this one.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Dana Maynard, MA, United States 08-02-10
    Dana Maynard, MA, United States 08-02-10
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    "Hysterical!"

    I love Abby Normal! Susan Bennett does a perfect goth girl voice. I read in a previous review that the writer is starting to speak like Abby Normal and I am too.
    I laughed out loud at some points. Mr. Moore you rock. Laters

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Audra Arlington, MA, United States 07-31-10
    Audra Arlington, MA, United States 07-31-10
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    8
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    "Repetitive becomes annoying"

    I have listened to some of Christopher Moore's other works and loved them. This one? Not so much. My primary complaint is with the main character's redundancy. She has a few "catch phrases" that she uses over and over. And perhaps it's just me, but I find a few of the voices selected for the main characters annoying and borderline whiny. I was disappointed, but perhaps it's only because I am such a Moore fan - I just expected more depth and a less frustrating "heroine." Many of the other characters are interesting, but bouncing around between them leaves you with the sense that the only character you spent any time with is less than satisfying.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Felicia The Colony, TX, United States 07-30-10
    Felicia The Colony, TX, United States 07-30-10 Member Since 2016
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    "FUN!"

    Review: I listened to this book on audiobook and laughed out loud (or LOL as Abby would put it) so many times that I think my co-workers thought I lost my mind. The story itself is really well paced, has the right amount of sardonic humor, and the characters are very true to themselves. It is a love story at heart but there is so much going on that you sometimes forget that. I know that a book about vampires and evil vampire cat's named Chet does not seem like it would be a good read but trust me when I say you won't be disappointed. My only problem, and this just might be with the audio version, is the number of different main POV's. It was a little hard to follow at times but it was easy to catch up. I loved the ending, I thought it was perfect for this book.

    WARNING: If you have a problem with foul language or acronym language (LOL, OMFG, OMG, etc) this is not the book for you :)

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Pamela J United States 07-23-10
    Pamela J United States 07-23-10 Member Since 2016

    Sure, I'd love to hear your story....

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Great conclusion to an outrageous series"

    Christopher Moore is wicked funny and the narrator amazing! Good for adults not easily offended by language and sexual situations who sometimes like to talk like naughty high-school students. Enjoy.

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Rudy Weston, MA, USA 07-22-10
    Rudy Weston, MA, USA 07-22-10 Member Since 2008
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    "They did it again!"

    I really enjoy Christopher Moore's books in general, and his first two parts of this vampire trilogy (so far?) in particular, so I had high hopes for Bite Me. He nailed it. And maybe even more importantly, Susan Bennett nailed it! This is the first review I've written, but I had to rave about the Moore/Bennett combination. She does an outstanding job bringing to life all of the various characters populating Moore's world, but I am particularly blown away by how well she translates Abby's slang-y, angst-y personality so vividly. I'm sure that this book is a fun read, but I'd highly recommend getting the audiobook version just to hear Susan Bennett's reading of Abby. Moore & Bennett are a great combo.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    J. Clark 07-20-10
    J. Clark 07-20-10 Member Since 2010

    ohmigod3339

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    "I was leery"

    but i was wrong, this whole series was fantastic. i don't think i've ever laughed so hard when reading / listening to books. People would look at me funny, even in my own home because i was forced to L.O.L. A LOT! O.M.F.G.!

    ;)

    Amazing reader who you can tell is as into this book as anyone can be. She really plays out those characters fantastically.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jeane Monterey, California 06-29-10
    Jeane Monterey, California 06-29-10 Member Since 2008
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    "Loved it!"

    One thing to say about Moore's writing, and that is that when you have the right narrator, it is 10 times better! This book is awesome, and hilarious, Susan Bennett makes this book even more awesome! It was one of those books where you wanted to just sit in your car all day, or sit around your house wearing your headphone! Moore is a first rate character developer, he knows his characters so well, there is not inconsistencies in any of them, even when you run into them in another one of Moore's books. Plus I really love how Moore will incorporate characters from his other books, I think it makes his fan following stronger. I adore Abby! She is probably Christopher Moore's funniest characters in my opinion (and that is saying something!). Moore has really grown as a comedic writer, his other two books in this series are funny, but this was just GREAT! I've been quoting it non-stop. Plus I love the way Moore translates what dogs are saying when they bark, cracks me up! I really hope that there is another installment of the series, but if there isn't an actual 4th vampire books, I think that Moore might have other things planned. See More

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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