FUCKED BY HOA

A Short Story SATIRE

By: Ghenrietta Von BLOOME

Narrated by: Virtual Voice

Don’t get me wrong.

I love the manicured lawns and symmetrically planted flower beds in our beautiful neighborhood. There’s something undeniably picturesque about the row of houses, their paint colors all meticulously approved by a committee of self-appointed taste experts who seem to be more worried about the shade of beige than actual world problems. However, all this beautifully decorated façade comes at a great price—putting up with the HOA board members.

Now, if you're unfamiliar with the phenomenon that is an HOA (Homeowners Association), allow me to enlighten you. You either love them or you hate them. Some presidents of the HOAs may be great (although I am yet to meet that rare species), but most do not have any sense of what to do with their suddenly granted power. Picture a group of individuals sporting visors and oversized sunglasses, clutching their clipboards as if they were the guardians of an ancient relic… only that relic is your front lawn. And in my case, it is my shamelessly unpainted fence.

After all, no one ever warned me that my rustic decor could spark such shenanigans...)