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Publisher's Summary

My wife drives me crazy sometimes. My husband should already know what I need. Is our marriage in trouble if we fight all the time? Is it possible to learn how to fight?

For the last several years, Penn and Kim Holderness have done the hard maintenance and the research. With the help of their marriage coach Dr. Christopher Edmonston, they break down their biggest (and in some cases, funniest) fights. How did a question about chicken wings turn into a bra fight (no, not a bar fight; a bra fight)? How did a roll of toilet paper lead to tears, resentment, and a stint in the guest bedroom?

With their trademark sense of humor and complete vulnerability, Penn and Kim share their ten most common Fight Fails and how to combat them. Throughout the book, they offer scripts for how to start, continue, and wrap up hard conversations. Couples will emerge equipped to engage and understand, not do battle - and maybe laugh a little more along the way.

In Everybody Fights, couples will learn how to

  • conjure the magic of metacommunication
  • break free of secret contracts
  • banish the three Ds - distraction, denial, and delay
  • carry their own individual baggage while helping each other deal with theirs

Penn and Kim metacommunication want people to know they’re not alone. Marriage is messy. Marriage is work. But marriage is worth it. Fight for it.

©2021 Kim Holderness and Penn Holderness (P)2021 Thomas Nelson

What listeners say about Everybody Fights

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  • Overall
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if I had known...

I didn't know this was released by a Christian publisher, and if I had known I might not have bought it (in spite of loving Kim and Penn's videos). I am so glad I didn't know because it is fabulous, with insights that apply to improving all relationships. Towards the end there was a story about a fight starting right before a Christmas pageant, but that's it. No biblical tales, no preaching, nothing about religion. In my mind, that makes this book accessible to all. Excellent, hilarious reading by the authors. I laughed and learned. Thanks guys!

12 people found this helpful

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Great for all marriages and relationships!

No matter how long you've been married or in a relationship, this book has something for you. From real-life stories that are so easy to relate to, you can get help on a variety of relationship problems from people who have messed up and learned to do it better. I love the audio version because you can feel how personal the advice is and know it's okay because your not the only one with fights like these, and it can get better!

8 people found this helpful

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Loved every part of this!

I’m a huge Holderness Family fan and this book did not disappoint. I loved hearing it read from their own voices. They even go off on a few tangents and tell a couple stories that I believe are not actually written in the book, so that’s fun! It was funny (of course) but also emotional and very real. The advice and strategies they provide in this book are excellent. Sharing bits and pieces of this book with my fiancé as I was listening has already been helpful! The discussions we have had about these strategies during a happy, typical evening will allow us to be better at recognizing the issues before they blow up into a fight, and be more prepared to handle them appropriately once they do happen. We have realized we already do a lot of the positive suggestions they offer in this book and it has made me feel that much more confident that I have found the right person.

4 people found this helpful

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Light and fun

Their personal stories and examples made the read easy. It's a light and fun, and the advice is solid. I can wait to listen with my guy.

4 people found this helpful

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Must Buy Audiobook! Get the hard copy, too!

I bought the physical book and the audiobook. The audiobook is excellent- it’s read by the authors, and it’s exactly like enjoying their podcast (which you should also check out). Plus, Penn brought his guitar and a piano into the recording studio, so you get bonus content! They go off script enough that it feels like you’re in a live book talk with them throughout. Loved it. The hard copy, though, is nice for referencing back to (something I will be doing frequently) and flagging important pages. They use visual cues “important boxes” to draw your attention to discussion points and key questions.

Penn and Kim are honest, sincere, and real about the ups and downs of marriage, maintaining relationships, and the ways we engage with the ones we love in helpful and damaging ways. They outline clear suggestions for how each person in the relationships can improve communication for better results and more peaceful coexisting, giving specific tasks and discussion starters to use. Every advice piece is enveloped in a personal story or anecdote that helps the reader connect to the issue at hand and identify similar problems in their own lives. It’s very evident how much work they have done in their own marriage, and I love that they have reached their goal of creating something lasting to bring healing and support to the families they entertain every week on YouTube and Facebook.

I really enjoyed following this family over the last few years, and they have been a bright spot in our pandemic lives. Now, they are helping us in a whole new way to repair and maintain our most important relationships. Buy a copy for yourself and your spouse. Read it together and discuss for maximum impact!

2 people found this helpful

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I love this family!!!

I admit I am in the first chapter or so. But, it is so good. Real conversations,laughter, honest real conversations. I hope you give this book a try!

2 people found this helpful

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Thank you!

A must read or listen. Holderness humor softens some tough conversations. Magic words are key!

1 person found this helpful

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SUCH a Great Listen!!

This was such a great book. I love that Kim and Penn added all their comments, insights and extra stories on top of the text. I can’t wait to get a physical copy now. It will probably all be highlighted, LOL. Now only to get my husband to read it 🤔😆. I adore this family and ALL the content they put out into the world.

1 person found this helpful

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Very very entertaining, educational AND fun!!!

I absolutely adore your family Kim, Penn, Lola, PC, Sunny and Ruby. Yes Ruby. I love her even though she’s not in the picture anymore. And I cried with Kim when she was telling Rubys story.

I loved the authenticity, the research and the suggestions and tips. Hubby is already reading the book and soon we will be implementing all the helpful suggestions you’ve given us 💯❤️

Very grateful for you sharing your experiences, trials and tribulations so we may learn from them. It is not easy to be an open book for the world to see. For that I commend you 🙌🏻👏🏻 I respect you even more now!

I would recommend this book to anyone and I wish you the impact and success you desire.

Love, Light & Laughter,

Kristi E. ~
🦋

1 person found this helpful

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Devoured it whole!

I listened while vacationing and when I reached the end I was sad for not listening more slowly! I loved every word. I loved every time you broke the fourth wall and spoke to me and to each other. I loved the lessons in the everyday fights. I love how you keep returning to each other and the love you’ve built. Thank you for writing this book. I’ll be listening again. ❤️

1 person found this helpful