Down the Rabbit Hole

Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny

By: Holly Madison

Narrated by: Holly Madison

Length: 10 hrs and 51 mins

Publisher's summary

The shocking, never-before-told story of the bizarre world inside the legendary Playboy Mansion - and finally the secret truth about the man who holds the key - from one of the few people who truly knows: Hef's former number-one girlfriend and star of The Girls Next Door.

A spontaneous decision at age 21 transformed small-town Oregon girl Holly Sue Cullen into Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner's number-one girlfriend. But like Alice's journey into Wonderland, after Holly plunged down the rabbit hole, what seemed like a fairy tale life inside the Playboy Mansion - including A-list celebrity parties and her own number-one-rated television show for four years - quickly devolved into an oppressive routine of strict rules, manipulation, and battles with ambitious, backstabbing bunnies. Life inside the notorious mansion wasn't a dream at all - and quickly became her nightmare. After losing her identity, her sense of self-worth, and her hope for the future, Holly found herself sitting alone in a bathtub, contemplating suicide.

But instead of ending her life, Holly chose to take charge of it.

In this shockingly candid and surprisingly moving memoir, this thoughtful and introspective woman opens up about life inside the mansion, the drugs, the sex, the abuse, the infamous parties, and her real behind-the-scenes life with Bridget, Kendra, and, of course, Mr. Playboy himself.

With great courage Holly shares the details of her subsequent troubled relationship, landing her own successful television series, and the hard work of healing, including her turn on Dancing with the Stars. A cautionary tale and a celebration of personal empowerment, Down the Rabbit Hole reminds us of the importance of fighting for our dreams - and finding the life we deserve.

©2015 Holly Madison (P)2015 HarperCollins Publishers

Entertaining but a bit one sided and snobby

While I appreciate anyone willing to write about their life, their struggles, and their insecurities (some of the most seemingly confident people can't even summon the courage to do that), I feel that at times, Holly worked a little hard at trying to portray herself as the good girl. I don't know her personally, but you don't really have to know someone well to deduce that they at some point in their life did things they weren't proud of. I highly doubt that Holly, in her self described "prison" of the Playboy Mansion, surrounded by catty, conniving, women for almost a decade, never once did anything she wasn't proud of. I feel in order to write a true biography/memoir, one needs to tell the whole story and be truthful about who they were as a person at the time good and bad. This book was entertaining at best, it took me a few days to finish but I'm glad I did. I'd say, like a guilty pleasure TV show, this book will entertain you but don't expect it to insight any reflection or deeper thinking after its done.

"Mean girls", magicians, mansions, and more!

During the early 2000s my best friend and I (freshly out of high school) idolized The Girls Next Door. We bought the simultaneously sexy and wholesome act hook, line, and sinker. Although one got the feeling it wasn't perpetual sunshine and roses, it's clear life at the mansion was darker than it seemed.

Now that I'm approaching 30, this tell-all journey of personal mistakes and self discovery resonates with me on a different level. Despite her fame, and perhaps infamy, Holly's relatable struggles in her romantic and professional lives provided a humorous but thoughtful expose fraught with "mean girls", magicians, mansions, and more.

Holly is charming, although occasionally awkward in her phrasing, but decidedly mature and candid. Her "Alice in Wonderland" theme is nicely appointed by well chosen quotes at the begin of each chapter. This is the first memoir I've ever read, but I'm very glad I did. All together very interesting, and even slightly nostalgic.

Terrible!

I was so excited about this book as I used to love Holly.
This, however changed my opinion about her. The entire book is talking smack about other people and being completely disrespectful to the man who made her become rich and famous.
I felt like I am reading a 16 year old silly girl's diary, who's trying to make other people responsible for her life choices.
Terrible and disappointing.

Holly knows how to tell a story

I decided to pick this book only because I found the whole thing odd. But honestly, her story telling skills and performance make this audible book very enjoyable. While I don't know whether the whole story is true, I find that the book was entertaining. This book is meant to be an audio book.

The other side of Girls Next Door

Like many fans that read this book.. I was a hardcore fan of the Girls Next Door. I always appreciated Holly in the show but found her somewhat cold and distant. Just as I hoped this book tells why. Things aren't always what they appear. I appreciate her honesty & willingness to open herself up to again more criticism. It was nice to actually hear her tell her story & im sure it was the final stage of letting go. I'm proud of her & really didn't want the story to end. Good job Holly!

Waste of time for me!

I guess if you're a fan of "The Girls Next Door" you might like this book. I've never watched the show, but was hoping for some good stories of the Mansion parties, but there was nothing new that you haven't seen on E! Inside the Playboy Mansion or MTV Cribs The Playboy Mansion etc...(Although the dirtiness surprised me, but will all those girls and all those dogs…I guess I can believe it) While I don't doubt the stories she did tell about Hef and the girls as true; it was kind of Duh! Hugh Hefner preys on younger women to get them to be his girlfriends, and Duh! Some of them are only there for the gifts and plastic surgery. Throughout the whole book I was left thinking, "If it was that bad you could have left." Lots of people get kicked out by a roommate, and you know what they find another place to live. She was in it for the fame and TV show, she is not fooling anyone. I didn't finish this book because it was a mindless tell-all about uninteresting people. I've listen to biographies that were very interesting, this one just wasn't. Plus don't get my started on the fake English accent she used to start each chapter. I don't usually write reviews, but I had to with this one, I had to try and save others from wasting a credit, don't believe the hype this story is boring.

Not a fairytale

I hated the Alice in Wonderland quotes that preceded each chapter and were read in some bizarre British accent. I appreciate the honesty but was totally grossed out by the length of time she prostituted herself to a really disgusting lecherous senior citizen. I found it sad and I am glad she finally moved on in her life to live normally.

Very well written considering what it is.

As a man who mostly listens to fantasy and science fiction novels, this was a very unusual choice for me. Although apparently more than 1/2 of the USA would know who this woman was, I did not, for I had never heard of the 'Girls Next Door' reality show.
Ms. Madison does a very brief introduction of herself but quickly gets to where she moves into the Playboy mansion. Over 90% of the book is her describing a listless and unpleasant life where she can drive fancy cars and buy $1000 of clothes per month, but is prevented from advancing in life by draconian rules.
The main purpose of the book seemed to attempting to demonstrate to everybody how terrible Hugh Hefner is, and that she herself was just an innocent and intelligent girl that got herself in a bad situation. This is not her life story. There is so much left out of the narrative that it sometimes feels like she just wanted to cherry pick events where she felt she was wronged. For example, there is one instance where a security guard that had been friendly was rude to her. It had no reason to be included except that it bothered her.
On the other had, she really had no description of her life before the mansion. We don't know what her family had to say about any of this. What about high school and college boyfriends? There is only the briefest description of sexual activities that she participated in, because she wouldn't want to talk about that.
Overall, I thought this a much better book than you'd expect. Ms. Madison did a good job explaining exactly how everyday life worked in this bizarre household. My impression was that Ms. Madision indeed is no dummy, and that she did make some really terrible choices, but in the end, I think she did manage to skillfully turn it around in the end. Despite the shortcomings of this book, I mostly enjoyed it because it was so far out of my world. I don't know any people like this, who's life revolved around clothes, make up, and mind games with catty women.
So while keeping in mind that she wrote this self serving book because (as she states many times) she doesn't want people to think of her as a dumb bimbo, I still think she is a likable person, and I found it worth listening to.

Great Book

Holly was candid and honest. At times you will cringe at her honesty regarding Hef and the other playmates.

Good beach read.

I never bought anything Hugh Hefner was selling. Not his cheap, trashy, idea of beauty, not his bs idea of the "playboy lifestyle" and definitely not the girl's next door. So I was actually kind of interested in Holly Madison's story. It's an easy, dishy, funny read and to be honest she's the least interesting part. Once the story gets into her post-mansion life it gets boring. It's definitely something for a long boring plane/car ride! By the time you're through the good stuff you'll probably be at your destination.

A predator hidden amongst the glamour...

Thanks Holly for confirming that Hefner was a sexual predator hidden in plain sight by his glamour, wealth and celebrity. He basically prayed on vulnerable girls. How was this ever allowed? These are the type of sleazy men that create & validate other sleazy men. In the wake of the "me too" movement, I really hope this is dying down. Gross!

loved it!

I really enjoyed Holly's story about her time at the mansion cant wait to read her next book

Good insight

As an avid girls next door fan it was a good insight into mansion life and holly’s backstory. Really enjoyed it - although I can’t lie the attempted English accent referring to Alice in Wonderland all the time starts to grate !!!

Don't believe everything you see on TV

In the end I had to ration chapters, I was getting through it too fast

Lovely lady and moving story.

Loved the book and the way Holly performed it. Was interesting to hear how things actually went down during the Girls Next Door show. I always thought she came of as a genuine person. If you liked the show, check out the book.

A great book if your a Holly Madison fan

I enjoyed this book ,Holly seemed to have a tough time with so many negative influences around her . very interesting to hear of another side to Hugh and all the degrading behaviour she was subjected to .

Mean girls

Can listen to it over and over. Recommend for a good gossip book. Hugh Hefner wouldn’t be happy though

BITTERNESS AT ITS FINEST

this book drained me. it wasnt fun at all. I've changed my opinion on holly.

Couldn’t stop listening

Holly perfectly explains all the details of the mansion, without being crude or disrespecting anyone else. A really funny, emotional and empowering story!

Very interesting!

I’m glad I ordered this book. I used to watch Girls of the Playboy Mansion when I was younger and I had no idea of the torment behind that show. I appreciate how hard Holly has worked to give herself a name and to move away from Playboy. I’m glad she’s found happiness. It must’ve taken some courage to write the book so well done to her.