Down the Rabbit Hole

By: Holly Madison

Narrated by: Holly Madison

Length: 10 hrs and 51 mins

Publisher's Summary

The shocking, never-before-told story of the bizarre world inside the legendary Playboy Mansion - and finally the secret truth about the man who holds the key - from one of the few people who truly knows: Hef's former number-one girlfriend and star of The Girls Next Door.

A spontaneous decision at age 21 transformed small-town Oregon girl Holly Sue Cullen into Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner's number-one girlfriend. But like Alice's journey into Wonderland, after Holly plunged down the rabbit hole, what seemed like a fairy tale life inside the Playboy Mansion - including A-list celebrity parties and her own number-one-rated television show for four years - quickly devolved into an oppressive routine of strict rules, manipulation, and battles with ambitious, backstabbing bunnies. Life inside the notorious mansion wasn't a dream at all - and quickly became her nightmare. After losing her identity, her sense of self-worth, and her hope for the future, Holly found herself sitting alone in a bathtub, contemplating suicide.

But instead of ending her life, Holly chose to take charge of it.

In this shockingly candid and surprisingly moving memoir, this thoughtful and introspective woman opens up about life inside the mansion, the drugs, the sex, the abuse, the infamous parties, and her real behind-the-scenes life with Bridget, Kendra, and, of course, Mr. Playboy himself.

With great courage Holly shares the details of her subsequent troubled relationship, landing her own successful television series, and the hard work of healing, including her turn on Dancing with the Stars. A cautionary tale and a celebration of personal empowerment, Down the Rabbit Hole reminds us of the importance of fighting for our dreams - and finding the life we deserve.

©2015 Holly Madison (P)2015 HarperCollins Publishers

"Mean girls", magicians, mansions, and more!

During the early 2000s my best friend and I (freshly out of high school) idolized The Girls Next Door. We bought the simultaneously sexy and wholesome act hook, line, and sinker. Although one got the feeling it wasn't perpetual sunshine and roses, it's clear life at the mansion was darker than it seemed.

Now that I'm approaching 30, this tell-all journey of personal mistakes and self discovery resonates with me on a different level. Despite her fame, and perhaps infamy, Holly's relatable struggles in her romantic and professional lives provided a humorous but thoughtful expose fraught with "mean girls", magicians, mansions, and more.

Holly is charming, although occasionally awkward in her phrasing, but decidedly mature and candid. Her "Alice in Wonderland" theme is nicely appointed by well chosen quotes at the begin of each chapter. This is the first memoir I've ever read, but I'm very glad I did. All together very interesting, and even slightly nostalgic.

52 of 58 people found this review helpful

Holly knows how to tell a story

I decided to pick this book only because I found the whole thing odd. But honestly, her story telling skills and performance make this audible book very enjoyable. While I don't know whether the whole story is true, I find that the book was entertaining. This book is meant to be an audio book.

36 of 40 people found this review helpful

Entertaining but a bit one sided and snobby

While I appreciate anyone willing to write about their life, their struggles, and their insecurities (some of the most seemingly confident people can't even summon the courage to do that), I feel that at times, Holly worked a little hard at trying to portray herself as the good girl. I don't know her personally, but you don't really have to know someone well to deduce that they at some point in their life did things they weren't proud of. I highly doubt that Holly, in her self described "prison" of the Playboy Mansion, surrounded by catty, conniving, women for almost a decade, never once did anything she wasn't proud of. I feel in order to write a true biography/memoir, one needs to tell the whole story and be truthful about who they were as a person at the time good and bad. This book was entertaining at best, it took me a few days to finish but I'm glad I did. I'd say, like a guilty pleasure TV show, this book will entertain you but don't expect it to insight any reflection or deeper thinking after its done.

71 of 80 people found this review helpful

Good beach read.

I never bought anything Hugh Hefner was selling. Not his cheap, trashy, idea of beauty, not his bs idea of the "playboy lifestyle" and definitely not the girl's next door. So I was actually kind of interested in Holly Madison's story. It's an easy, dishy, funny read and to be honest she's the least interesting part. Once the story gets into her post-mansion life it gets boring. It's definitely something for a long boring plane/car ride! By the time you're through the good stuff you'll probably be at your destination.

12 of 13 people found this review helpful

I am ashamed I enjoyed this!!!

The Walking Dead books are my guilty pleasure. You know, something with no literary value, but you just really just enjoy listening to. This book isn't even intelligent enough to fall into my guilty pleasure category! I am actually kind of ashamed I enjoyed it so much! Holly Madison is her own biggest fan, and she will tell you about it for hours and hours in this memoir. She was always my least favorite GND, but now, I think she is lipstick (and a big boob job) on a skinny runt of a pig. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you! This gal has the audacity to mother-F almost everyone that she ever used as a stepping stone in her B-- career. I can't lie though, I did enjoy all the BS! Holly and I are the same age (or at least the age she claims to be) so this pop culture phenomenon is from my generation. I had a go as a Hooters Girl and a swimsuit model, and I related to the way she described her early days doing the same. So that being said, there was something in me that always enjoyed GND. They were enjoying my same lifestyle but on a much more grandiose scale! I grew up and left that all behind so this book transported me to a time and place that will never be again. I enjoyed that so much and thank Holly for the instant time machine, BUT I am leaving this book with absolutely no respect for her. Throughout the book she will try and convince you that she was a victim but her calculating ways always manage to shine through. She is like a junior high girl in the way she blames everyone else for every single bad choice she made. Just own it, girl! Plus, at our age, it is really in poor taste to talk about others the way she did throughout her book. And to all of those who thought Madonna had the absolute worst fake English accent ever SURPRISE!!! You know the feeling, the one where your skin crawls because you are embarrassed for someone? Well, you will get it every time she introduces a new chapter using it. All that being said, if you are curious at all about this lifestyle, you will never regret spending this book credit!

10 of 11 people found this review helpful

Absolutely awful

This is the most boring, self-centered, narcissistic story from an entitled little brat. I have never written a bad review but this book was absolutely awful. Finishing it was painful. Don't waste your time or money.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

Love!

Really really good couldn't stop reading. Highly Recommend to anyone that wants a interesting book.

13 of 15 people found this review helpful

The other side of Girls Next Door

Like many fans that read this book.. I was a hardcore fan of the Girls Next Door. I always appreciated Holly in the show but found her somewhat cold and distant. Just as I hoped this book tells why. Things aren't always what they appear. I appreciate her honesty & willingness to open herself up to again more criticism. It was nice to actually hear her tell her story & im sure it was the final stage of letting go. I'm proud of her & really didn't want the story to end. Good job Holly!

26 of 31 people found this review helpful

Don't Fall for the Shameless Tricks!

I was so excited to listen to this and the anticipation to read it continued to build as Holly Madison shamelessly promoted her new book; however, as I listened to her audiobook, I felt like I was the one spiraling down the rabbit hole. The first 4 hours that I listened to, I was at the edge of my seat! Then, the next 3 hours, I was slightly losing interest and was hoping for more depth. The final 3 hours, I was completely over Holly Madison and her pathetic attempt to bash a host of people, all of which included Hugh Hefner, Kendra Wilkinson, and Criss Angel. She seriously played the victim, THE ENTIRE BOOK (with the exception of the last hour, in which she describes her current husband and the birth of her child *rolls eyes*).

Without a doubt, this book was destined to be excellent; but, only if she took some accountability. She complained that Hugh Hefner was essentially a controlling womanizer, but she didn't want to accept the fact that she was a glorified whore! How could she admit to asking to stay in the Playboy mansion because she had no where else to go and she hoped that it would lead to an acting career, all while calling the other equally ambitious girls, "Hefner's concubines"? As if she was innocent in everything! Absolutely appalling! There seemed to be a double standard when it came to Madison and everyone else.

I believe Madison was attempting to shock readers into disliking the legendary Playboy founder, but instead, I lost all respect for her. This story was one lame excuse after the other, no sense of accountability, and an utter waste of listening time. I am very disappointed.

73 of 89 people found this review helpful

Should have been titled An Axe to Grind.

The book itself was interesting and flows nicely. I do feel that the author paints herself with a very kind brush. She discusses how other girls were mean to he but then goes on to read mean things blogs had said about them and tear them apart while assuming an innocent persona. I'm not saying she is a bad person but there are a lot of repeat themes in the book which generally indicates a problem with the protagonist. I think the truth lies somewhere in the middle. I am glad that she seems to have found herself at the end.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

Perfect for Fans

I couldn't stop listening! I loved the Girl's Next Door so Holly's stories kept me hooked. Perfect for fans of reality TV.

An invitation to the Playboy Mansion

This book is for anyone who has ever wondered what it's really like in the world of Playboy. I'd seen documentaries and gossip column news about Hugh Hefner and the playboy bunnies, but I always wondered what it was really like, and why the girls were happy to be paraded around in groups of cloned blonde bombshells. Holly Madison tells her own story and not only does she portray it well, but she really gives an open insight to the reality of that world. I enjoyed listening to this book a lot, and I liked how Holly read the story and told it. The book is light hearted and interesting, I would highly recommend it.

Good if you can forgive the flawed narrator

there are a number of times during this book that holly comes across as spiteful, spoilt and in denial (or lying?!)

having said that, if you can view her as a 'flawed narrator' and read between the lines it is an enjoyable story and I found it very interesting to hear her version of what happened.

a unique insight into a tough world

poor Holly that was hell, she changed her life and made it, an inspirational story.

Not what it promised

I was hoping this was going to be a story about the rise to fame, the ups and downs, the good, the bad and the ugly. I was expecting some serious tea spilling and dark dirty secrets.
What I got was mostly a load of petty catfights and very one-sided stories from saint hollys perspective about how the other girls were bullies and gold-diggers, and took the totally innocent things she said the wrong way, which didn't all seem entirely believable.
The performance was good except for when she tried to put on mens voices which just sounded weird.
I have not seen the tv show which I thought would be a plus and it would all be new to me but actually it all was rather boring and one-note from beginning to.....well if you actually even got to the end.

Engaging and funny

The Girls of the Playboy Mansion (as the show was known in the UK) was a guilty pleasure of mine, and I watched every episode ... up until the original three left. Of the three Holly was my least favourite. This book however has changed my opinion of her. I was sympathising and laughing throughout.
The anecdotes and the reasonings why anyone would choose to be a ‘girlfriend’ are so alien to me, but this is an aspiration for many. And of course they slept with Hef, why else would they be living with him. The post Hef era with the awful illusionist (I can’t be bothered to write his name as he isn’t worthy 😂) and her meeting her Mr Forever show that one can definitely make the best lemonade from the lemons life throws at you.

loved!

really nice relatable story, couldn't put it down x z x x x x x

Loved it

I love this book was exactly what I thought it would be easy listening..enjoy

Everything you wanted to know.

Loved the girls next door show and always followed Holly afterwards so I wondered what her side of the story was about. Told by herself she lets you know everything you want to hear. The only negative thing is the constant voice of Hef She kept doing which got annoying or the impressions of the whining bunny girls. But enjoyed it all the same. It went very quickly.

brill

It's amazing how she managed to cope for that long in the mansion . that is one strong woman if I was in here shoes I don't think I could have done at all .

I never get sick of reading this book this was my 5th time .