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Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline

Where the Crew Lives, Eats, Wars, and Parties? One Crazy Year Working on Cruise Ships (Travelers' Tales)
Narrated by: Gary Furlong
Series: Cruise Confidential Series, Book 1
Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (154 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

National Best Seller

ForeWord Humor Book of the Year

Benjamin Franklin Awards Humor Book of the Year

In Cruise Confidential, Brian David Bruns spills the dirt - or, in this case, the dirty water - on those romantic, fun-filled vacations at sea. His hilarious chronicle of the year he spent working for Carnival Cruise Lines takes listeners down into the areas where the crew works and lives, leaving listeners gasping with laughter as they're assaulted nonstop with events that range from the absurd to the utterly bizarre. Stewards fighting over food. Cutlery allowances and other nonsensical rules. What the crew calls those onboard (no, it's not passengers). And, of course, the sex. An abundance of ready, willing, and able bodies eager for action on a vessel replete with nooks and crannies leads to love in some mighty strange and seemingly impossible places.

Breezy, entertaining, and informative, Cruise Confidential is essential listening for those planning a cruise or for anyone who just needs a good laugh.

Don't miss the entire Cruise Confidential series:

  • Cruise Confidential
  • Ship for Brains
  • Unsinkable Mister Brown
  • High Seas Drifter

©2008 Brian David Bruns (P)2016 Brian David Bruns

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Jan
  • MKE
  • 04-22-16

Once upon a time, on a cruise ship far away....

I have never been on a cruise ship, but I have worked with ESL folks from many different cultures, so I regard this narrative as less reality than wishful thinking. That being said, by regarding it as a fanciful tale full of ego and testosterone, I enjoyed it and laughed myself silly! I mean, come on, he is the best at everything? And everyone is constantly bedhopping? Really, he is NOT James Bond! And no one ever gets mal de mer or Traveller's Revenge? But if you take it as humor, it is hard not to enjoy it. Even if only 10% is based in reality, it is still a smudged window into a workplace that many of us never are aware of.
Maybe I just enjoyed it more because it was performed with such agility by Gary Furlong who made it even more fun.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Never been on a cruise but this makes me want to take one

My wife has talked for years about going on a cruise. I'm in the restaurant business myself for 23 years now and was fascinated by the insights and observations made in this book. My wife would be horrified to listen to this book and then go on a cruise. Personally I reveled in it. Every moment kept you waiting for the next. The energy and exuberance of the narrator conveyed the hectic emotions of the author. Wonderfully experienced, written and read. Seamless in it's amazing ability to deliver the feel of being there. Listening on my way home after a 13 hour shift I could commiserate with the exhaustion of the author. The separation from loved ones due to work. Well done. I received this audiobook from the author narrator or publisher for free via audiobookblast in exchange for an unbiased review.

3 of 4 people found this review helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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A Hit Below the Waterline

A Hit Below the Waterline: Where the Crew Lives, Eats, Wars, and Parties: One Crazy Year Working on Cruise Ships, the first installment from the Cruise Confidential series, is one crazy read. It was interesting getting a glimpse at what it is like to live on a cruise ship. I listened to the audio version of the book with Gary Furlong narrating. It was a fun listen.
I am giving A Hit Below the Waterline three and a half stars. I look forward to the next book in the Cruise Confidential series.
I received the audio version of this book from the publisher. This review is 100% my own honest opinion.

1 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Very entertaining!

Juicy story to the last minute, could not stop listening. Enjoyed the narration and various accents.

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Interesting perspective on crew life

Book was well narrated and very interesting! Good perspective on what life is like working on a cruise ship.

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  • Melani W
  • Shaker Heights, OH United States
  • 03-19-19

Not what I expected

I was hoping on learning inside tips on cruising and how ships operate. All this book did was tell how one man was worked to death while he simultaneously partied hard.

The narrator was excellent though. Perfection.

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Holy Cat Batman!

Interesting stories of what goes behind the scenes onboard ships. Gives me perspective on what the staff puts up with not just amongst themselves but with cruisers. Funny tales and insights on life on the sea.

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Interesting and Engaging

When I heard about this book I did not know what to expect. After listening to some of it, I was hooked. The story moves along and tells you just enough about everything. It makes me really want to take a cruise now and watch to see if you can tell some of these things are happening.

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  • SoozyQue
  • sandy valley, NV, United States
  • 08-20-18

Never realized what goes on behind closed doors

One of the most entertaining books. The narrator was great, all the accents of the crew made you think they were all there. The tale about the dining crew is beyond belief what they put up with from the cruise line. It's an eye opening tale for sure. I didn't want to stop listening. Wish the book was longer.

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I liked it better after I listened to it again

What made the experience of listening to Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline the most enjoyable?

It is fascinating to get an inside glimpse of what the crew experiences, the politics, the interactions.

What did you like best about this story?

The statistics at the end and the list of stupid questions cruisers ask made me laugh out loud.

Which scene was your favorite?

The scenes with his boss that show how unfair and prejudiced things can be.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

It made me want to travel on cruise lines that have the highest ratings from the crew. I want to travel on a line where people are treated as fairly as possible.

Any additional comments?

I have recommended this book to those who love to cruise.

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  • Mr PJB
  • 12-29-16

Informative behind the scenes revelations

Informative, funny and enlightening. Excellent nararation. Look forward to the rest of the series being released in audio format.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • clifford
  • 09-25-17

moaning whining dull don't waste your time

terrible dull story. hours of moaning and whining hours of your life wasted you will never get back.

0 of 1 people found this review helpful