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You Can't Touch My Hair
- And Other Things I Still Have to Explain
- Narrated by: Phoebe Robinson, John Hodgman
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
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Publisher's summary
A New York Times Best Seller
"A must-read...Phoebe Robinson discusses race and feminism in such a funny, real, and specific way, it penetrates your brain and stays with you." (Ilana Glazer, cocreator and costar of Broad City)
A hilarious and timely essay collection about race, gender, and pop culture from upcoming comedy superstar and 2 Dope Queens podcaster Phoebe Robinson
Being a black woman in America means contending with old prejudices and fresh absurdities every day. Comedian Phoebe Robinson has experienced her fair share over the years: She's been unceremoniously relegated to the role of "the black friend", as if she is somehow the authority on all things racial; she's been questioned about her love of U2 and Billy Joel ("isn't that...white people music?"); she's been called "uppity" for having an opinion in the workplace; she's been followed around stores by security guards; and yes, people do ask her whether they can touch her hair all. The. Time. Now she's ready to take these topics to audio - and she's going to make you laugh as she's doing it.
Using her trademark wit alongside pop-culture references galore, Robinson explores everything from why Lisa Bonet is "Queen. Bae. Jesus" to breaking down the terrible nature of casting calls to giving her less-than-traditional advice to the future female president and demanding that the NFL clean up its act, all told in the same conversational voice that launched her podcast, 2 Dope Queens, to the top spot on iTunes. As personal as it is political, You Can't Touch My Hair examines our cultural climate and skewers our biases with humor and heart, announcing Robinson as a writer on the rise.
One of Glamour's "Top 10 Books of 2016"
Featured on Refinery 29's list of "The Best Books of 2016 So Far"
Read by the author, and featuring additional narration by Jessica Williams and John Hodgson
Critic reviews
Featured in NPR Weekend Edition, New York Magazine, Refinery 29, and Cosmo
“A must-read.... Phoebe Robinson discusses race and feminism in such a funny, real, and specific way, it penetrates your brain and stays with you.” (Ilana Glazer, co-creator and costar of Broad City)
“Phoebe Robinson has a way of casually, candidly rough-housing with tough topics like race and sex and gender that makes you feel a little safer and a lot less alone. If something as wise and funny as You Can't Touch My Hair exists in the world, we can't all be doomed. Phoebe is my hero and this book is my wife.” (Lindy West, New York Times best-selling author of Shrill)
“You Can't Touch My Hair is the book we need right now. Robinson makes us think about race and feminism in new ways, thanks to her whip-smart comedy and expert use of a pop culture reference. The future is very bright because Robinson and her book are in it.” (Jill Soloway, creator of Transparent)
Featured Article: The Best Comedy Audiobooks to Get You Laughing Out Loud
It’s no secret that good comedy can lighten our spirits and brighten our lives. So if you’re looking for a hilarious new listen to liven up your work day, hit the treadmill, or unwind with some leisure time at home, we’ve got the list for you. With these listens, you can laugh along with stories from some of the world’s greatest comedians, all delivered with pitch-perfect performances. From personal memoirs to multi-cast recordings, we’ve got the perfect listen.
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Hmmm...I don't know what to tell you on this one
- By cinda on 10-24-18
By: Phoebe Robinson, and others
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Survival of the Thickest
- Essays
- By: Michelle Buteau
- Narrated by: Michelle Buteau
- Length: 6 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Stand-up comedian, actress, and host Michelle Buteau reflects on growing up Caribbean, Catholic, and thick in New Jersey, going to college in Miami (where everyone smells like pineapple), her many friendship and dating disasters, working as a newsroom editor during 9/11, getting started in stand-up opening for male strippers, marrying into her husband’s Dutch family, IVF and surrogacy, motherhood, chosen family, and what it feels like to have a full heart, tight jeans, and stardom finally in her grasp.
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Enjoyable listen, unexpected moments
- By Jessica on 12-28-20
By: Michelle Buteau
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The Awkward Thoughts of W. Kamau Bell
- Tales of a 6' 4", African American, Heterosexual, Cisgender, Left-Leaning, Asthmatic, Black and Proud Blerd, Mama's Boy, Dad, and Stand-Up Comedian
- By: W. Kamau Bell
- Narrated by: W. Kamau Bell
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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You may know W. Kamau Bell from his new Emmy-nominated hit show on CNN, United Shades of America. Or maybe you've read about him in The New York Times, which called him "the most promising new talent in political comedy in many years." Or maybe from The New Yorker fawning over his brand of humor writing: "Bell's gimmick is intersectional progressivism: he treats racial, gay, and women's issues as inseparable."
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White Woman Raising a Black Son
- By AmazonAnnie on 05-20-17
By: W. Kamau Bell
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Wow, No Thank You.
- Essays
- By: Samantha Irby
- Narrated by: Samantha Irby
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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A new rip-roaring essay collection from the smart, edgy, hilarious, unabashedly raunchy, and best-selling Samantha Irby. Irby is 40, and increasingly uncomfortable in her own skin despite what Inspirational Instagram Infographics have promised her. She has left her job as a receptionist at a veterinary clinic, has published successful books and has been friendzoned by Hollywood, left Chicago, and moved into a house with a garden that requires repairs and know-how with her wife in a Blue town in the middle of a Red state....
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listen to this book. and then repeat. twice.
- By hattie walls on 04-08-20
By: Samantha Irby
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The Greatest Love Story Ever Told
- An Oral History
- By: Megan Mullally, Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman, Megan Mullally
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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At last, the full story behind Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman's epic romance, including stories, portraits, and the occasional puzzle. How did they do it? They came from completely different families, endured a significant age difference, and were separated by the gulf of several social strata. Megan loved books and art history; Nick loved hammers. But much more than these seemingly unsurpassable obstacles were the values they held in common: respect, decency, the ability to mention genitalia in almost any context, and an abiding obsession with the songs of Tom Waits.
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Not sure if I like or not.
- By KJ1022 on 10-03-18
By: Megan Mullally, and others
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I'm Fine...and Other Lies
- By: Whitney Cummings
- Narrated by: Whitney Cummings
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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A hilarious and emotional personal account of the life, times, mistakes, and crippling codependence of comedian, producer, director, actress, and writer Whitney Cummings. Full of intellect, pathos, and profundity, I'm Fine...and Other Lies is, in Whitney's words, her first book, which means her last date. With her signature incendiary edge and self-deprecation, Whitney comes clean about what has shaped her into the trailblazing comic that she is today.
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I've been waiting for this woman to write a book!
- By Giggle Pants on 10-09-17
By: Whitney Cummings
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The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl
- By: Issa Rae
- Narrated by: Issa Rae
- Length: 5 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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"My name is 'J' and I'm awkward--and Black. Someone once told me those were the two worst things anyone could be. That someone was right. Where do I start?" Being an introvert in a world that glorifies cool isn't easy. But when Issa Rae, the creator of the Shorty Award-winning hit series The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl, is that introvert--whether she's navigating love, work, friendships, or rapping--it sure is entertaining.
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Loved
- By Jamila on 02-25-15
By: Issa Rae
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Bossypants
- By: Tina Fey
- Narrated by: Tina Fey
- Length: 5 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Before Liz Lemon, before Weekend Update, before Sarah Palin, Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: A recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live. Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've always suspected: You're no one until someone calls you bossy.
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Tina Fey broke my new SUV
- By Warren on 04-07-11
By: Tina Fey
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Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)
- By: Mindy Kaling
- Narrated by: Mindy Kaling, Michael Schur, B. J. Novak
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Mindy Kaling has lived many lives: the obedient child of immigrant professionals, a timid chubster afraid of her own bike, a Ben Affleck–impersonating Off-Broadway performer and playwright, and, finally, a comedy writer and actress prone to starting fights with her friends and coworkers with the sentence “Can I just say one last thing about this, and then I swear I’ll shut up about it?”
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If you like Mindy, you'll enjoy this listen.
- By Lisa on 01-04-12
By: Mindy Kaling
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Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
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Yes Please
- By: Amy Poehler
- Narrated by: Amy Poehler, Carol Burnett, Seth Meyers, and others
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Amy Poehler is hosting a dinner party and you're invited! Welcome to the audiobook edition of Amy Poehler's Yes Please. The guest list is star-studded with vocal appearances from Carol Burnett, Seth Meyers, Michael Schur, Patrick Stewart, Kathleen Turner, and even Amy’s parents - Yes Please is the ultimate audiobook extravaganza.
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Listen to this book for sure
- By S.F. on 10-31-14
By: Amy Poehler
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Failure Is an Option
- An Attempted Memoir
- By: H. Jon Benjamin
- Narrated by: H. Jon Benjamin
- Length: 4 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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While he's not quite a household name, most people would consider H. Jon Benjamin, the voice-actor star of Archer and Bob's Burgers (and a sentient can of mixed vegetables in 2015's Wet Hot American Summer) a comedy show business success. But he'd like to remind everyone that as great as success can be, failure is also an option. In a hilarious, self-deprecating memoir, Jon lays out some of his many failures in all areas of life, from Work ("wherein I'm unable to deliver a sizzling fajita") to Family ("wherein a trip to PF Chang's fractures a family").
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No joke, This book helped my marriage
- By Michelle on 05-07-18
By: H. Jon Benjamin
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The New Jim Crow
- Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness, 10th Anniversary Edition
- By: Michelle Alexander
- Narrated by: Karen Chilton
- Length: 16 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Seldom does a book have the impact of Michelle Alexander’s The New Jim Crow. Since it was first published in 2010, it has been cited in judicial decisions and has been adopted in campus-wide and community-wide reads; it helped inspire the creation of the Marshall Project and the new $100 million Art for Justice Fund; it has been the winner of numerous prizes, including the prestigious NAACP Image Award; and it has spent nearly 250 weeks on the New York Times best seller list.
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Shocking, Important and Brilliant
- By Tim on 10-06-14
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Black Friend
- Essays
- By: Ziwe
- Narrated by: Ziwe
- Length: 4 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Ziwe made a name for herself by asking guests like Alyssa Milano, Fran Lebowitz, and Chet Hanks direct questions. In Black Friend, she turns her incisive perspective on both herself and the culture at large. Throughout the book, Ziwe combines pop-culture commentary and personal stories that grapple with her own (mis)understanding of identity. From a hilarious case of mistaken identity via a jumbotron to a terrifying fight-or-flight encounter in the woods, Ziwe raises difficult questions for comedic relief.
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Something for everyone
- By Happy on 10-21-23
By: Ziwe
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I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
- By: Maya Angelou
- Narrated by: Maya Angelou
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Sent by their mother to live with their devout, self-sufficient grandmother in a small Southern town, Maya and her brother, Bailey, endure the ache of abandonment and the prejudice of the local “powhitetrash.” At eight years old, Maya is attacked by a man many times her age - and has to live with the consequences for a lifetime. But years later, she learns about love for herself and the kindness of others, her own strong spirit, and the ideas of great authors.
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Emotional & Powerful
- By Miss Toni on 06-30-13
By: Maya Angelou
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Leslie F*cking Jones
- By: Leslie Jones, Chris Rock - foreword
- Narrated by: Leslie Jones, Chris Rock
- Length: 16 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Hey you guys, it’s Leslie. I’m excited to share my story with you. Now, I’m gonna be honest: Some of the details might be vague because a b*tch is fifty-five and she’s smoked a ton of weed. But while bits might be a touch hazy, I can promise you the underlying truth is REAL.
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she's the f*cking BEST
- By Audible Anon on 09-20-23
By: Leslie Jones, and others
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Finding Me
- A Memoir
- By: Viola Davis
- Narrated by: Viola Davis
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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In my book, you will meet a little girl named Viola who ran from her past until she made a life-changing decision to stop running forever. This is my story, from a crumbling apartment in Central Falls, Rhode Island, to the stage in New York City, and beyond. This is the path I took to finding my purpose but also my voice in a world that didn’t always see me.
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Absolutely beautifully Written❤️
- By Latwhit22 on 05-02-22
By: Viola Davis
What listeners say about You Can't Touch My Hair
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Kate
- 12-02-16
Phoebe, You Rock
Would you listen to You Can't Touch My Hair again? Why?
I don't normally write reviews, but after the promos on 2 DopeQueens (which I love), I went to download this audiobook and was a bit astonished that, despite the super high star rating, all the reviews that were showing up were so damned negative!!! I almost didn't download it (I needed something fun to get me through the drive home from family thanksgiving), then I remembered, Phoebe is awesome, and I want to hear what she has to say.I'm a 42 year old divorced white lady. Phoebe says a lot that ring true to me about the experience of being a lady and from knowing POC. She also says a lot of things that I didn't know from the perspective of a POC, that I found enlightening. I am really, really grateful for all that she says. YES, the cadence of this book is a bit rough if you are used to Phoebe from 2 Dope Queens, where she feels just off the cuff. In this audiobook, you can definitely feel that she's reading -- but, she's reading her book, and I'm okay with that. One review I read suggested reading it at 1.1 speed-- unfortunately, my app only broke down to 1.25 - which was okay for awhile (1 chapter), then when I could hear in her voice that genuineness that we know and love, it was weird. YES, she's 31 and the fact that she bemoans being old makes those of us older feel like sorry old sacks. I remember feeling the same way. It's not really a thing that she's her age. It's who she is. Those of us that are now older were there, and remember it, if we're honest. YES, there are a few minor points where things get a bit dry, and, more to the point, feel like Phoebe is reading us a part of her college thesis instead of just engaging us and then backing her points up with facts.THOSE ARE MINOR POINTS, however, given the overall spectacular engagement I felt with Phoebe and this book. I think she brings people in to consider other experiences, explains them with grace and humor, and most of all, makes us laugh while we understand more about our shared human experience. Phoebe, I really enjoyed your book, and your reading of it, even though I'm not the intended audience. And, seriously, screw the assholes who don't get it.
Who was your favorite character and why?
Phoebe, Olivia, John
Would you listen to another book narrated by Phoebe Robinson?
Not unless she wrote it
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
laugh, for sure.
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38 people found this helpful
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- Just Another Bucky Barnes Fan
- 11-13-16
I'm too old for this book
I definitely struggled to listen to this book. I tried, believe me, I tried. But I'm part of that last group of boomers, born 13 years after the end WWII. I could understand the "don't touch my hair" part because I went through that A LOT of that in the early 70s, when I was wearing a 'fro. White girls would help themselves to touching my hair, until I trained them to stop doing that But that's pretty much where the similarities end. I have two Millennial daughters. Maybe they would enjoy this.
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25 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-24-16
Listen @ 1.1x speed !!!
Firstly, I loved the contents. As a Mexican immigrant catching up with American culture, with fair skin and a diverse friend group, I found this very informative. As a fan of 2DQ and SMWG, this book did not disappoint.
With regards to the performance, it felt painfully slow and almost gave up and switched it for the print copy. I am a big fan of both if Phoebe's podcasts so I am used to listening to her speech (which I love) but the cadence on the audiobook felt off. I sped it up to 1.1x and voilá!
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24 people found this helpful
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- Chloe
- 10-09-16
Nonstop laughs and all the feeeeels
Phoebe most beautifully and hilariously describes ways in which we all need to lady up and address societal and individual issues such as racial inequities, gender stereotyping, and self care. It's incredible to hear someone openly and positively talking about these crucial issues, and I cannot explain how much I appreciate hearing them from another young woman's perspective. (Oh yeah, phoebe explains the importance of this. Because she's the best.) This book is absolutely necessary for every woman and POC wanting to see their experience reflected back, and should be listened to by everyone to gain perspective but also because it's so freakin' funny! I listened to this book straight through, totally absorbed as if in the best kind of convo with my best friend. Thanks phoebs!! <3
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17 people found this helpful
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- Rachel
- 10-17-17
Listening To This Audiobook Was A Good Life Choice
Drop everything and run (don’t walk) to the nearest recording of Phoebe Robinson's You Can’t Touch My Hair. Look, I love essays by funny ladies. You could even say they’re my jam. Well, all my past faves pale in comparison to this hilarious new collection of essays about feminism, race, pop-culture, and being a black woman in America. Phoebe Robinson is funny and poignant literally 100% of the time (how?!), and the audiobook is bananas phenomenal (with tons of ad libs you won’t find in the print version). Listening to this audiobook was a good life choice.
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13 people found this helpful
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- Cookie
- 10-27-16
I was annoyed regardless of how much I should have been able to relate.
This book hands down is the most annoying book I have ever listened to on audible. Really thankful I didn't pay for this. Her voice, her story telling ability, her attempted comic relief overkill... it was just too much. Really cute how her work wife opened up for her.. reminds me of when someone swears a story is hilarious before they tell it but it NEVER IS. She just seems very knowledgeable yet out of touch at the same. I'm 8 chapters in and I am going to try my best to finish. My ears are like literally cringing. I feel like I'm getting nothing out of this.. no aha, exactly, you feel me, I couldn't have said it better myself moments.
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10 people found this helpful
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- Hailey Bailey
- 02-01-17
A True Gem!
Phoebe Robinson opens the door to her world in this funny, but real, way.
Her opinions on everything from certain older, white gentleman, to very politically sensitive issues really reach to the core of who we are as a society and raise the question of whether or not we are headed in the right direction. Ant good story can make you think fondly about ups and downs of the characters, but it takes a truly great book to encourage the reader to be introspective, especially without asking direct questions. Thanks Pheobs!
p.s. If you ever come to Colorado on tour, you HAVE to check out The Chocolate Therapist in Littleton, for some wine and chocolate pairing... I get the feeling you would enjoy it.
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9 people found this helpful
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- Maelee
- 11-02-16
Michelle Obama should read this book!
This book was everything I was hoping for and also way more. As a disabled black woman I found it fun and entertaining; and I loved how Phoebe Robinson was able to verbalize do many things that I try to explain to people everyday.
A must have for any SJW 😊
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7 people found this helpful
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- Adrienne
- 09-12-17
It had potential, but.....
This book feel short. The author's tone and reading method made it sound like she was trying too hard, which makes the book hard to listen to. Secondly, the content of the book goes off in too many directions (with pop culture references and/or side commemts) while making every point. It is just too extra.
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6 people found this helpful
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- Nation of Koko
- 10-14-16
Unfunny and self depricating
I was recommended and encouraged to read this book as a fellow Clevelander with similar background. This book is a huge let down, and flat out annoying. My friend was concerned about how enraged I was reading this book. "I was rooting for her," I exclaimed. This is white feminism in black face trying to explain Blackness to her white friends. Her attempt to be "unapologetically black" is a face first flop. She insults Cleveland women by saying that "we" dress like female newscasters. I was disgusted, disappointed and flat out annoyed by her unfunny approach by "tap dancing" for her white friends and romantic interests.
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6 people found this helpful