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Publisher's Summary

Following his two New York Times best sellers, Brain Droppings and Napalm & Silly Putty, comes George Carlin's third audiobook, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, a riotous journey through the mind of one of America's premiere comic observers.

Ranging from his absurdist side (Message from a Cockroach; TV News: The Death of Humpty Dumpty; Tips for Serial Killers) to his unerring ear for American speech (Politician Talk; Societal Cliches; 13 Sections of Euphemisms) to his unsparing views on America and its values (War, God, Stuff Like That; Zero Tolerance; Tired of the Handi-crap), Carlin's legendary irreverence and iconoclasm are on full display as he vainly scours the American landscape for signs of intelligence.

He also has a silly side:

  • You know what kind of guy you never see anymore? A fop.
  • A good motto to live by: "Always try not to get killed."
  • I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
  • A lot of gay men stay in the closet because they're interested in fashion.
  • I have an impersonal trainer. We meet at the gym, we don't talk, he works out alone, and I go home.
  • Here's something you can't do by yourself: practice shaking hands.
  • When it comes to God's existence, I'm not an atheist and I'm not an agnostic. I'm an acrostic. The whole thing puzzles me.
  • Good news for senior citizens: Death is near!
  • O.J. Simpson has already received the ultimate punishment: For the rest of his life he has to associate with golfers.
  • ©2004 Comedy Concepts, Inc.; (P)2004 Hyperion

    Critic Reviews

    • Audie Award Finalist, Humor, 2005
    • 2005 Quill Award Nominee
    • Grammy Award Nominee, Best Spoken Word Album, 2005

    "There's no better way to enjoy one of Carlin's books than to hear him read it himself....Carlin has his comic timing down pat. His energetic reading is punctuated by conversational bits and enhanced by his deft vocal variation, making listeners feel as if they've got a front-row seat at one of his comedy shows." (Publishers Weekly)

    What members say

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    • Overall


    There is good humor, bad humor, and material that is neither; George Carlin book falls in the later. As I listen, I kept on wondering when it was going to get funny, then I wonder how this material had made it to print, finally, I despaired.

    With so many talented individuals seeking a chance to show their work, it is a shame that this mediocre work has found its way into the bookstores.

    10 of 34 people found this review helpful

    • Overall


    this is a book I shoudl have bought and left on my toilet for guests, not to listen to. Though it is cool to hear Carlin read it.

    1 of 5 people found this review helpful

    • Overall
    • Vincent
    • Baltimore, MD, USA
    • 06-20-07

    One mean, angry jerk.

    Jeez! George sure has changed over the years! Always funny and sometimes cynical, he's just hateful now. What happened? Doesn't he know that 96 percent of the US believes in God? He arrogantly suggests that those of faith are morons.

    Not funny anymore. All he does is rant about how he's smarter than everyone else.

    3 of 12 people found this review helpful

    • Overall

    Occasionally funny, mostly depressing.

    Is George really off drugs? I had to wonder. I found this book to be occasionally funny, extremely negative, and mostly depressing. Have your valium handy or listen in small doses. I chose to put it down after a couple of hours.

    1 of 5 people found this review helpful

    • Overall
    • Tim
    • KaIlua Kona, HI, USA
    • 04-01-05

    George is the only porkchop here

    Early on, he was funny---riotous even with his Wonderful WINO schtick. Then came the HBO contract---at times brilliant, always thought-provoking; but this book is trash. I guess it's hard to be funny and pertinent for about 7 hours. It is for him anyway.

    1 of 5 people found this review helpful

    • Overall
    • Rudi
    • aurora, IL, USA
    • 11-29-04


    I have always enjoyed George Carlin's humor, and I'm not particularly concerned about his language. I did find myself wondering how Carlin has transformed from a very intelligent, very funny comedian to a grouchy old man whose complaints sometimes made me uncomfortable. There are still some pearls here; the part about UFO believers versus religious folks is first class, and I found myself (somewhat un-PC, I know) very entertained by his tirade about the handicapped. But much of the material was simply curmudgeonly without being particularly funny. I felt disappointed and almost embarrassed for the once-brilliant author.

    1 of 5 people found this review helpful

    • Overall
    • Performance
    • Story


    If you could sum up When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? in three words, what would they be?

    Very Very funny

    What other book might you compare When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? to and why?

    Brain droppings also by George Carlin

    What does George Carlin bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?


    Any additional comments?

    This was great from start to finish

    0 of 2 people found this review helpful

    • Overall
    • Performance
    • Story
    • Boyd
    • United States
    • 11-21-13

    Pure Trash - Leave it alone

    Would you try another book from George Carlin and/or George Carlin?

    I would not try another book from George Carlin. He has nothing funny to say.

    What was most disappointing about George Carlin’s story?

    Most of his material is pure filth. He has lost all sense of humor and soured in his old age. He thinks reading a list of criticisms of life is humorous.

    How did the narrator detract from the book?

    The man himself narrated and only added to the misery.

    You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

    I found nothing of value in this book.

    0 of 2 people found this review helpful

    • Overall
    • Performance
    • Story
    • Jerome
    • United States
    • 03-05-12

    Whatever happened to profanity-free humor?

    Any additional comments?

    I think George Carlin had an excellent take on the English language. But what has happened to comedy over the past several decades? Long gone are the George Burns, the Bob Hopes, and the Johnny Carsons who were very funny without foul language. Very disappointing!

    0 of 2 people found this review helpful

    • Overall

    can you get past f***?

    very funny stuff, but I had a hard time getting past the extreme use of the "f" word. I should expect this from George. Don't get this if you are easily offened. On the ohter hand, maybe you should, this will give you something to be indignant about.

    0 of 2 people found this review helpful