Charles Duhigg is a Pulitzer Prize–winning investigative journalist and the author of The Power of Habit and Smarter Faster Better. He is a winner of the National Academies of Sciences, National Journalism, and George Polk awards. He writes for The New Yorker and other publications and is the author of Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

A lot of us grew up in a world where most of our relationships started in person. That means many of us are beautifully equipped for a world that no longer exists. In this conversation, Charles and I discuss how to get better at connecting in a remote-first world.

• When the telephone first became popular, people had to learn how to communicate with it. We’re at a similar inflection point with digital communication.
• We all have three kinds of conversations: (1) What’s this really about? (practical/decision-making), (2) How do we feel? (emotional), and (3) Who are we? (identity).
• Many of us tend to default to practical/decision-making conversations online and miss conversations about emotion and identity.
• Ask questions that invite an emotional or identity response. Instead of, “Where do you live?” consider a shift like, “What do you love about where you live?”
• Notice when people bring elements into a conversation that aren’t related to the topic. These clues, especially online, can point to entry points for emotional connection.
• Supercommunicators pay just a bit more attention to how people communicate than the rest of us. A slight shift can make a big difference.

• Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection by Charles Duhigg (Amazon, Bookshop)*

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

• The Way to Get People Talking, with Andrew Warner (episode 560)
• How to Lead Engaging Meetings, with Jess Britt (episode 721)
• How to Show Up Authentically in Tough Situations, with Andrew Brodsky (episode 727)

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JP Elliott has decades of experience as a Talent and HR executive at companies like DICK’S Sporting Goods, McAfee, and Lenovo. He’s seen the challenges HR professionals face in growing their careers and increasing their impact. He is the host of the Future of HR podcast and on a mission to help HR professionals increase their business impact and accelerate their careers.

Leadership looks a little different if you head up a support role: human resources, IT, marketing, or finance. Often, we hear the term “business partner” used to describe what these leaders should be aiming for. In this conversation, JP and I explore how to shift from simply a “business partner” to a value creator.

• You’re not just an HR leader. You’re a business leader with HR expertise.
• Think like a CEO even if you’re in HR. Do this to be moving beyond an execution-only mindset.
• Design talent strategies based on the future, not on the past.
• Build systems that reward outcomes, not bureaucracy.
• Build talent strategies that differentiate your business.
• Forecast leadership needs 3-5 years out and build a pipeline for critical roles.

Four questions that CEOs are asking:

1. Are we focused on the right strategic imperatives?
2. Are we operating effectively and efficiently?
3. Are we optimizing our business model to create competitive advantage?
4. Do we have a plan for sustainable and profitable growth?

• Future of HR podcast by JP Elliott

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

• How to Start Managing Up, with Tom Henschel (episode 433)
• How to Solve the Toughest Problems, with Wendy Smith (episode 612)
• The Mindset to Help Your Organization Grow, with Tiffani Bova (episode 633)

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Graham Allcott is an author, speaker, entrepreneur, and the founder of Think Productive, a leading provider of training and consultancy. He is the author of multiple books, including the bestseller How to Be a Productivity Ninja and his latest book, KIND: The Quiet Power of Kindness at Work (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

“Nice” means telling people what they want to hear. “Kind” means telling them what they need to hear. The best leaders are kind. In this conversation, Graham and I explore how we can do a better job of following through.

• “Nice” means telling people what they want to hear, whereas “kind” means telling them what they need to hear.
• Kindness is both concern for others and concern for self. Just like with salted caramel, it’s best with the right balance.
• Leaders often do better articulating vision and values than they do with getting clear on expectations of value each person should provide.
• Being clear is an act of kindness in itself because it drives psychological safety.
• Use a personal mantra as a concise and powerful way to consistently remind people about what’s most important.
• Invite others to “give the last 20%” in feedback to uncover areas where clarity would help.

• KIND: The Quiet Power of Kindness at Work by Graham Allcott (Amazon, Bookshop)*
• Rev Up for the Week (Graham’s newsletter)

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

• Five Steps to Hold People Accountable, with Jonathan Raymond (episode 306)
• How to Build Psychological Safety, with Amy Edmondson (episode 404)
• How to Give Feedback, with Russ Laraway (episode 583)

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.