Bringing Up Bébé

One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting

De: Pamela Druckerman

Narrado por: Abby Craden

The secret behind France's astonishingly well-behaved children.

When American journalist Pamela Druckerman has a baby in Paris, she doesn't aspire to become a "French parent." French parenting isn't a known thing, like French fashion or French cheese. Even French parents themselves insist they aren't doing anything special.

Yet, the French children Druckerman knows sleep through the night at two or three months old while those of her American friends take a year or more. French kids eat well-rounded meals that are more likely to include braised leeks than chicken nuggets. And while her American friends spend their visits resolving spats between their kids, her French friends sip coffee while the kids play.

Motherhood itself is a whole different experience in France. There's no role model, as there is in America, for the harried new mom with no life of her own. French mothers assume that even good parents aren't at the constant service of their children and that there's no need to feel guilty about this. They have an easy, calm authority with their kids that Druckerman can only envy.

Of course, French parenting wouldn't be worth talking about if it produced robotic, joyless children. In fact, French kids are just as boisterous, curious, and creative as Americans. They're just far better behaved and more in command of themselves. While some American toddlers are getting Mandarin tutors and preliteracy training, French kids are- by design-toddling around and discovering the world at their own pace.

With a notebook stashed in her diaper bag, Druckerman-a former reporter for The Wall Street Journal-sets out to learn the secrets to raising a society of good little sleepers, gourmet eaters, and reasonably relaxed parents. She discovers that French parents are extremely strict about some things and strikingly permissive about others. And she realizes that to be a different kind of parent, you don't just need a different parenting philosophy. You need a very different view of what a child actually is.

While finding her own firm non, Druckerman discovers that children-including her own-are capable of feats she'd never imagined.

Reseñas de la Crítica

“Marvelous . . . Like Julia Child, who translated the secrets of French cuisine, Druckerman has investigated and distilled the essentials of French child-rearing. . . . Druckerman provides fascinating details about French sleep training, feeding schedules and family rituals. But her book's real pleasures spring from her funny, self-deprecating stories. Like the principles she examines, Druckerman isn't doctrinaire.” —NPR

“Bringing Up Bébé is a must-read for parents who would like their children to eat more than white pasta and chicken fingers.” —Fox News

“On questions of how to live, the French never disappoint . . . Maybe it all starts with childhood. That is the conclusion that readers may draw from Bringing Up Bébé.” —The Wall Street Journal

“French women don't have little bags of emergency Cheerios spilling all over their Louis Vuitton handbags. They also, Druckerman notes, wear skinny jeans instead of sweatpants. The world arguably needs more kids who don't throw food.” —Chicago Tribune

“I’ve been a parent now for more than eight years, and—confession—I’ve never actually made it all the way through a parenting book. But I found Bringing Up Bébé to be irresistible.” —Slate

Inspiring

I started listening to Bringing Up Bébé the very same day it came out. Having a “bébé” of my own who is rapidly morphing into a destructive whirl of Tasmanian Devil-style energy, I was immediately sucked in by the title of the opening chapter of Pamela Druckerman’s book: “French Children Don’t Throw Food.” Oh really… I’m listening.

I’m not sure that there’s any one big Holy Grail of child-rearing here but this book proved to be charming, funny, and VERY informative, and I’ve found it’s been helpful in guiding my thinking about what kinds of values I want to try to instill in my child. Some of these have been surprising. For instance, Druckerman writes that in American households we force “please” and “thank you” down our kids’ throats - convinced that if they can master these two critical mantras of etiquette then they will be society ready. In France they teach this too, but there are two other, even more critical, words: “hello” and “goodbye”. French children don’t slink into the room or run to the TV when their parents' friends are visiting. They look the adult in the eye and say “hello”. The reverse plays out when the visitor leaves. French parents feel that this confers respect – that doing this forces their children to acknowledge the humanity of another person. Listening to this while driving to work I found myself practically fist-pumping. “Yes! I want my daughter to acknowledge the humanity of other people too!” She goes on to point out that much of the hostility that American tourists experience from the French originates from the fact that we don’t say “bonjour” upon getting in a cab or entering a restaurant. Who knew?

Overall this was a truly enlightening listen, filled with lots of inspiring little tidbits like this. Druckerman is funny and relatable and Abby Craden as the narrator was perfection. I was actually surprised it wasn’t the author reading it because her delivery is so natural and she sounds so connected to the material.

Another way to learn about French Culture

On the surface this is a book comparing American vs French pregnancy and child rearing. In another way it is a book exploring aspects of French culture through children. The biggest thing I walked away with was the importance of the "Bon Jour" in French culture and a willingness to try making yogurt cake (so easy French children make it). There were aspects of the book that I found annoying. The author expresses self doubt and keeps going on about a need to 'mirror'. To me it sounds like a whiny American. Ignoring that there are several gems and insights in the book about the French, particularly French women, Anglophone women, and attitudes towards children and food.

The only baby book you need France sounds great

This is one mind opening book on parenting. I've read through a couple of other parenting books (American style). After reading through this, I've realized those books are basically garbage that will do more harm to our kid and our marriage. To avoid any bias, I'm first generation Chinese American in my early 30's. I'm near 100% agreement with Pamela's observation of the French's style of parenting. The book does a great job comparing and most importantly, demonstrating the difference in American style approach AND the ultimate result. It does not bold well for American style (i.e.., entitlement, selfishness,, lack of manners, obesity, etc). The funny thing is, I can actually see it based on observations from our friends' kids.... The saddest realization is actually how awful our childcare systems are from birth, to maternity leave, to day care, to pre-school. You pay an astronomical amount for these things in the state, basically out of pocket, and its still mediocre at best. Politics aside, this is not right. My key takeaways 1) Learn to condition the child to wait for basically everything. To teach them patience and that they're not the center of the world. 2) Let the kid be curious to explore on their own. This teaches them to learn to be independent. 3) Raising kids is not about giving up everything to dedicate your life to your kids. It's important for both the child and you to draw boundary between kid time and adult time. Definitely important 4) Need to re-read it again. 5) France sounds like an awesome place to raise your kids. 6) How does one move to France?

Great to listen to with your partner!

If you’re raising a tiny person, this is a great book! I liked listening with my partner bc we could discuss what we want to change/start/stop parenting wise. We’re also both teachers, so we loved it from that perspective, too. :)

A great take on parenting your kids as if they are real people (because they are)

I really enjoyed this book and how the author delves into French parenting from an American perspective. She isn’t absolute about “how things should be done,” as some parenting books (and, lets be honest, relatives) can be. Rather she gives the reader her honest observations on French parenting, some research and background to back it up, and her own attempts with her children. All in all, I really enjoyed this book and will be revisiting it here and there once my own baby is born this summer.