Blood Orange Night

My Journey to the Edge of Madness

By: Melissa Bond

Narrated by: Melissa Bond

Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins

Publisher's summary

Brain on Fire meets High Achiever in this “page-turner memoir chronicling a woman’s accidental descent into prescription benzodiazepine dependence—and the life-threatening impacts of long-term use—that chills to the bone” (Nylon).

As Melissa Bond raises her infant daughter and a special-needs one-year-old son, she suffers from unbearable insomnia, sleeping an hour or less each night. She loses her job as a journalist (a casualty of the 2008 recession), and her relationship with her husband grows distant. Her doctor casually prescribes benzodiazepines—a family of drugs that includes Xanax, Valium, Klonopin, Ativan—and increases her dosage regularly.

Following her doctor’s orders, Melissa takes the pills night after night until her body begins to shut down. Only when she collapses while holding her daughter does Melissa learn that her doctor—like so many others—has over-prescribed the medication and quitting cold turkey could lead to psychosis or fatal seizures. Benzodiazepine addiction is not well studied, and few experts know how to help Melissa as she begins the months-long process of tapering off the pills without suffering debilitating, potentially deadly consequences.

Each minute thrums with the heartbeat of Melissa’s struggle—how many hours has she slept? How many weeks old are her babies? How many milligrams has she taken? Her propulsive writing crescendos to a fever pitch as she fights for her health and her ability to care for her children. “Propulsive, poetic” (Shelf Awareness), and immersive, this “vivid chronicle of suffering” (Kirkus Reviews) and redemption shines a light on the prescription benzodiazepine epidemic as it reaches a crisis point in this country.

©2022 Melissa Bond. All rights reserved. (P)2022 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved.

Powerful!

I couldn’t stop listening! Melissa writes PERFECTLY- her words are gripping and eloquent. I am a nurse and have learned so much from Melissa - I have taken benzodiazepines for anxiety and had NO idea of the danger! I am personally thankful for this masterpiece!

A compassionate, sensitive, good mother persevered

This author is passionate, truthful, accurate, & very inspiring. All at once. I recommend this listening session, to anyone.

Raw Memoir

Beautiful writing. I struggled with her perception of people who cross from dependent to addiction.

What a story

It’s interesting to read the struggles of this class of drug. I’m so glad she was able to find light at the end of the tunnel.

Well done.

I loved listening to this book. The description and details of the authors stories kept me captivated.

Compelling memoir of nightmare drug dependence

The author bravely chronicles the effects of benzodiazepine dependence. Her doctors were irresponsible to say the least. The writing and narration are stronger as the story proceeds. You won’t forget this book. You will be grateful that Melissa Bond is struggling to share her nightmare.

A Must Read

I had no idea the incredible effects of these drugs that we, people, take without worry. We so want to “feel better”… she is an extraordinary writer and we are lucky to have this memoir.

Poignant and Eye Opening Minor Spoilers

Although there were a few minor points I found annoying, this is absolutely worth a listen. The beginning is a bit slow but I think that's to demonstrate how devastating it was for Melissa to lose her job. I also find it surprising/annoying that one of her best friends is a psychiatrist yet she doesn't ask his opinion about the med/class of meds. I get the impression there are a few things probably kept out of the memoir for the flow.

The author is criticized for her portrayal of her husband. I understand the sentiment because she does come across harsh. This isn't an objective biography, it's a memoir and by definition it's pretty much going to be biased.

The author is self centered but again, it's her truth. I also think most people with substance use disorders are self centered.

Well written, albeit a little overwritten at times. The information is overwhelming and although I am aware of the dangers of long term benzodiazepine use, I had no idea the extent of the life altering changes. I am going to do a bit of fact checking and not rely 100% on the author's research but I am grateful to have a glimpse into her experience.

Great insight the dangers of benzodiazepines

I liked the book because it shows how addictive benzodiazepines are, and that many doctors are not aware of this. I listened to this audio book because a coworker took his owe life because of an ignorant doctor prescribed him a strong benzodiazepine sleeping pill. He took it for three month then couldn’t function at work because his tolerance increased and withdrawal started. He tried to tapper,but this put him in bed for 3 month until he could take it anymore.

Strength and courage

Thank you for sharing your story. You are a hero and an inspiration to many.