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Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea Audiobook

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

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Publisher's Summary

In My Horizontal Life, actress and stand-up comedian Chelsea Handler boldly recounted her one-night stands - the good, the bad, and the disastrous. In this wickedly honest new work, she casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date - including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.

Whether it's a vacation with her dad during which he tells airline staff they're a honeymoon couple in order to get an upgrade, or her elaborate attempts to convince her third-grade classmates that she's starring in a Private Benjamin sequel, Chelsea lets it rip in these relentlessly entertaining essays. Displaying the candor and irresistible turn of phrase that have earned her a recurring stint as a correspondent on The Tonight Show as well as her own E! series, Chelsea Lately, this deliciously skewed collection is a guilty pleasure.

©2008 Chelsea Handler; (P)2008 Simon and Schuster, Inc.

What the Critics Say

"Chelsea Handler is a terrific comedian and a hilarious writer. (Jay Leno)
"Chelsea Handler writes like Judy Blume, if Judy Blume were into vodka, Ecstasy, and sleeping with midgets and nineteen-year-olds." (Jennifer Weiner, best-selling author of In Her Shoes)
"There's something suspiciously sophisticated about how [Handler's] jokes line up that suggests the moral austerity of a comic not of [Joan] Rivers' bad-girl school: Tina Fey." (New York Times)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.1 (2750 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Norma R 02-09-11
    Norma R 02-09-11
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    1
    1
    Overall
    "Save your credits"

    I like her show so I thought this might be an interesting listen. No so...very much high school mentality and not really funny. I am not going to listen to the entire audio, which is a big deal for me. I make a commitment for each book I pick up and with this one I am willing to stop halfway.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    jean catawba, nc, United States 02-07-11
    jean catawba, nc, United States 02-07-11
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Are you there Vodka, it's me Chelsea?"

    Funny as usually, the stories are short and hilarious. It's nice to hear the author read their own book.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jessica Providence, RI, United States 01-28-11
    Jessica Providence, RI, United States 01-28-11
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    "Funnier Than the First"

    The second book in Chelsea Handler's trio has many laugh out loud moments. Narrated to perfection by the author, the book is a sort of tribute to her father who is lovingly referred to as "b-tch t-ts." I've always admired authors who are able to describe what some might consider a "dysfunctional" family with love, humor, and a healthy dose of sarcasm. By embracing her father's unique view of the world, Chelsea let's us know it's all all right. A very enjoyable listen.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    DORIS EAST BRUNSWICK, NJ, United States 01-27-11
    DORIS EAST BRUNSWICK, NJ, United States 01-27-11 Member Since 2010
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    "A laugh a minute"

    The adventures and thought processes of Chelsea Handler are a scream! I laughed from beginning to end. Great mindless entertainment.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Leah York, PA, United States 11-05-10
    Leah York, PA, United States 11-05-10 Member Since 2010
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    "Enjoyable!"

    I found the new stories in this book very enjoyable. However, some of them were repeated from her previous book and/or lingered on. I did enjoy hearing the book read by the author herself.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    10-09-10
    10-09-10
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    "Normen"

    Great book. Driving and listening material. I like it. Some chapters in little bit boring

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Sarah Alexandria, VA, United States 09-26-10
    Sarah Alexandria, VA, United States 09-26-10
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    "HILARIOUS!"

    I couldn't stop listening -- Chelsea is ridiculously funny, and her book is far better than her daily show on E! I really love it when the author reads his/her own audio books too.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Eric Redford, MI, United States 09-25-10
    Eric Redford, MI, United States 09-25-10
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    "Not really that good."

    This book seemed like a forced attempt at humor. I went in with an open mind but I couldn't get past the forced feeling I got with the stories. It seemed as if she was just making things up for the sake of being funny, instead of slightly embellishing for the sake of humor, like any other comedian (I use this term loosely) would do. I admit that I am not a fan of Chelsea but I did go in with an open mind. I did the same thing with Kathy Griffin's latest book and I came out of it really liking her as a person and I hoped to do the same with Chelsea but I couldn't. I suggested avoiding this book like the plague and listening to any other book ever made.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kelly TROUT LAKE, WA, United States 09-17-10
    Kelly TROUT LAKE, WA, United States 09-17-10
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    "Good Title, Poor Book"

    I found myself cringing, more than laughing. Handler attemps to mimmick the tongue-in-cheek, matter-of-fact style of Amy Sedaris. Sadly, she just comes off as a nasty human being. She tells of her quirky family and her role within it, however, the stories are more depressing than they are funny. Enjoyment can be found if you don't cringe when you hear a person touting their absolute lack of respect for any part of humanity. Amy Sedaris gets away with her tongue-in-cheek stories because they are just that; tongue-in-cheek. Handler is not so much admitting and repenting her shallow dispostion as revelling in it; which makes the memoir hard to identify with. Altogether shallow and embarassing.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    TOLEDA Oakland, CA, United States 09-16-10
    TOLEDA Oakland, CA, United States 09-16-10
    HELPFUL VOTES
    4
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    "gotta lover her"

    I love Chelsea I have listened to this read about 3 times already. I love chelsea she is the best. This book was anothe tale about stories in her life and they all were very funny and paints a clear picture. i ddin't want it to end I wanted to hear more from her. I can't wait to get the next one.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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