Because Our Fathers Lied

A Memoir of Truth and Family, from Vietnam to Today

By: Craig McNamara

Narrated by: Keith Sellon-Wright, Craig McNamara

This unforgettable father and son story confronts the legacy of the Vietnam War across two generations: “an important book that should be read by every American” (Ron Kovic, Vietnam Veteran and author of Born on the Fourth of July).

Craig McNamara came of age in the political tumult and upheaval of the late 60s. While Craig McNamara would grow up to take part in anti-war demonstrations, his father, Robert McNamara, served as John F. Kennedy's Secretary of Defense and the architect of the Vietnam War. This searching and revealing memoir offers an intimate picture of one father and son at pivotal periods in American history. Because Our Fathers Lied is more than a family story—it is a story about America.

Before Robert McNamara joined Kennedy's cabinet, he was an executive who helped turn around Ford Motor Company. Known for his tremendous competence and professionalism, McNamara came to symbolize "the best and the brightest." Craig, his youngest child and only son, struggled in his father's shadow. When he ultimately fails his draft board physical, Craig decides to travel by motorcycle across Central and South America, learning more about the art of agriculture and making what he defines as an honest living. By the book's conclusion, Craig McNamara is farming walnuts in Northern California and coming to terms with his father's legacy.

Because Our Fathers Lied tells the story of the war from the perspective of a single, unforgettable American family.

Critic reviews

“Moving and courageous… a complicated man comes into intimate view, as does the ‘mixture of love and rage’ at the heart of their relationship… Through his own personal story of disappointment and disillusionment, McNamara captures an intergenerational conflict and a journey of moral identity.”—Adrienne Westenfeld, Esquire

“McNamara’s staggeringly heartfelt debut memoir is the tale of a son’s lifelong yearning for his father to look him squarely in the eye and tell him the unvarnished truth, regardless of the scale of his missteps or regrets. In that sense it’s a universally relatable story since countless parents shield their children from hard facts and struggle to be present.”—Jessica Zach, San Francisco Chronicle

“That Craig McNamara has survived, and thrived, and given us this staggering book, is something of a miracle.”—Joe Klein, Washington Post

“Searing… [McNamara] has made a noble effort to shed as much as possible of the pain his father bequeathed him, and the rest of our nation.”—Charles Kaiser, The Guardian

"This is a courageous, devastating memoir, written from the inside out. While U.S. policy was conducted from an icy 30,000-ft. perch, for Craig McNamara, the Vietnam War was an intimate family drama full of complex moral dilemmas, betrayal, and family self-awareness and actualization." —Ken Burns, filmmaker

“Because Our Fathers Lied gives readers a vivid, front-row view of the divisiveness in one very prominent family, and through that family, a view of the national divisiveness that contin­ued long after the Vietnam War… a loving but brutally honest account of McNamara’s difficult relationship with his father.”
—Roger Bishop, BookPage (starred review)

"Behind great world tragedies are great personal tragedies. Craig McNamara has written a gripping, aching, memoir of what it was like to be the only son of a decent man with the blood of thousands on his hands."

—Evan Thomas, New York Times bestselling author of Ike’s Bluff: President Eisenhower’s Secret Battle to Save the World

“If a father’s lethal lie could be redeemed by a son who speaks the heartfelt truth, this book would do it. A poignant, crushing account that closes a circle not only for Craig McNamara, but for his generation."—James Carroll, New York Times bestselling author of House of War: The Pentagon and the Disastrous Rise of American Power

not an expose on Robert McNamara

This is not an expose on Robert McNamara or his legacy, but rather the feelings of a son watching shadows on the cave walls. i bought this because i wanted to read what craig had to say before going to his presentation/book signing at his alma mater. i listened to the first 7 chapters where Craig describes a sheltered childhood and the process of discovering who his father is from the polite or implied actions and remarks of others. coming from a political family myself, if you are going to burn the house down by going public, this is more like setting the trash can on fire in your bedroom and hoping it catches the curtain. maybe im just a jaded millennial who has only known the shocking politcal content of post 9/11 through Trump and traveled a but too much, or i've read too much on the censored history of US political economy and its military project over the past century and expected some real dirt. or i took the title too literally. it is good for what it is, a memoir of a son who grew up in the shadow of political greats, but it isnt about the lies his father told.

The honesty and emotional validity of the story allowed an intimacy with a complicated man.

Craig is an excellent writer—the subject is compelling but his writing makes it a terrific experience.

disappointing

As a military brat of that era who confronted the same issues with my father, I was disappointed that he never "had it out" with his dad. Of course his dad was clearly able to compartmentalize -- a trait evidently shared through the generations. There is no way I would still be alive had I decorated my room as he did. I wonder if his war-criminal father every cared about any one any thing ever. I hope he's experiencing unending torment, where ever he is.

Interesting story.

Craig was a product of the time. I can understand the stress that must have been between him and his father and Craig's effort to create his own life.

A quest of a son to understand his famous father.

Craig McNamara grew up in the aura of Camelot and the Armageddon of Vietnam. He thought the keys to understanding were held by his father. Although he could never quite find answers through his famous father, he discovered wisdom and understanding in his family, his community, and the land.