Beautiful Chaos

Narrated by: Michael Dean
Length: 9 hrs and 27 mins
Categories: LGBT, Romance
4.5 out of 5 stars (191 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Silas

My home is my sanctuary. Or is it my prison? Some days it's hard to tell.

I've confined myself behind these walls for protection. I have my reasons, but that doesn't change the profound loneliness I've discovered in the process.

Then one day I find myself drifting toward the window to see him. Corey Marshall, my new neighbor. Quiet, reserved, and cute as can be. He infects my thoughts, becomes the image I fantasize about.

I want to taste his lips, smell his scent...feel what it's like to be inside him.

And soon, watching becomes exchanging gifts and messages, which becomes so much more.

It's wrong to want this as badly as I do, but I can't help myself. I crave him so desperately. It's hard to tell if what we're doing is going to make me lose my mind or change my entire world, but it's too late to turn back now....

Corey

I've never been quite right. Too high or too low. Pain is my constant companion...at the hands of my abusive ex, and often from myself. The sweet relief is only temporary, but in those moments, it's like I can finally breathe.

Then I meet him. Silas Rizner calms the chaotic storms inside me. He makes me feel loved, treasured, even when I don't deserve it. I cherish the moments we share - cooking, cuddling, and when Silas reads to me until I fall asleep. When he's inside me, it's the only time in my life I've ever felt complete.

Silas becomes the glue that holds me together, that bandages my scars. Inside the walls of his home, we're almost safe, but our demons are always there, waiting to break free.

We're a mess. We're broken, chaotic, beautiful; we're in love. 

But not even love can slay our monsters. No, only we can do that.

Unless our monsters destroy us first.

TRIGGERS: Self-harm, depression, anxiety, mentions of past domestic violence.

*While the sexual situations depicted in Beautiful Chaos are imperative to the characters' development throughout the course of the novel, listeners are advised to hear the "Dear Reader" letter at the beginning of the book to help them make an informed decision about whether this particular story will be to their tastes.

©2018 Devon McCormack, Riley Hart (P)2018 Devon McCormack, Riley Hart

What listeners say about Beautiful Chaos

Average Customer Ratings
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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Dark, but powerful

I am really glad there was a pro-log on this book it helped setup the situation. The characters are amazing and the story was almost over powering. Very well done to Devon, Riley, and of course Michael.

9 people found this helpful

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Oh my broken heart!

This book...my heart broke for these 2 beautiful, broken men. The intense trauma both of them survived to then be able to find each other...breathtaking! Michael Pauley always delivers a stellar performance. I'm telling everyone how much I loved this book❤❤❤

5 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Amazing

I was a little worried about listening to this book but I know Devon and Riley and I figured if they wrote it, it had to be awesome. They did not fail me. I loved this book so much. It's amazing, beautiful, heartfelt, sad, happy, and a tear jerker . I loved the way they communicated in the beginning. Notes. I'm not sure which one is my favorite. I love them both. I love the way Silas took care of Corey, even though he was battling his own demons.
Michael Pauley did an amazing job narrating this beautiful book. Thank you Riley, Devon and Michael.
This book needs to be in everyone's Audio library but take the warning in the beginning of the book seriously.

4 people found this helpful

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DEADLY DARK AND INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL!! A MUST READ

OK, let me just say up front that the trigger warnings offered by the authors should most definitely be heeded. This is a dark book about two men who have suffered tremendously and who, at this point in their lives, find themselves alone and nearly friendless. Left to face the internal consequences of their wounded past and the dark, self-medicating behaviors which flow from the devastating injuries they’ve suffered in lonely isolation until, by the most unexpected of occurrences they happen to find each other.

This book is achingly intimate. Every step these men take toward each other and toward the love and healing their relationship could provide is tentative. You hold your breath every time they communicate, knowing that this tenuous connection could be so easily shatter. Yet with every slow and careful step you can feel these two men taking one, tiny step closer to the healing each so desperately needs.

I was fascinated by Cory and Silas. My heart ached for them. And I found myself more eager to hear their story unfold with each and every page. I was rooting for them. Cheering every time their relationship took even one more tiny step forward. Wanting it go faster! Wanting their defensive walls to fall so they both could embrace the healing love that each offered.

Parts of this book (I listened to the Audible version) were hard to hear. The violence these men suffered in their past created a self-loathing that played itself out in self-harming behavior. But I could almost feel the healing touch their minds, their hearts, and their souls, as Devon McCormack and Riley Hart brilliantly lead us forward in Cory and Silas’ lives. We see deep into their pain. We see deep into their hope. And as they leave their fear behind and move, together, into a brighter, happier world, we see their healing.

Intense does not begin to describe it. Passionate is too small a word. This book overflows with both. But it will also touch your heart with hope, compassion, joy, and relief as you move with these two extraordinary men, into a new future, one created by the love they share.

The narration does full justice to this amazing story.  Congratulations to Devon McCormack, Riley Hart, and narrator Michael Pauley, for penning this extraordinary work. 

3 people found this helpful

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Woa! Wow and Woa! This took me by surprise...

Devon/Riley, the preface basically tried to prepare me for a powerful story and by God you delivered one. The depth of emotion and the descriptions of thoughts, feelings, actions...wow...it's an amazing experience when a story gets right down into the bone. Thank you for that.

Michael, kudos for your excellent performance. I saw those boys in every word you spoke. I could hear their misery, their mental illness, their joy, their love, their lust.

Listener, gird your loins. This has those moments when I literally would get bug eyed and look up from whatever I was doing and it would stop me dead in my tracks. It brought fear, tears, joy, all of it. I even had to turn it off a few times because I had to process the story. These authors have brought us a novel with intensity and purpose. They bring us right into Beautiful Chaos.

3 people found this helpful

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Tragically beautiful story

Oh man this story!!! Both of these men have gone through so much!! It’s heart wrenching but their journey towards healing was a beautiful story.
Michael pauley did a fantastic job like always.

1 person found this helpful

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Awesome

This story was sad, hopeful and endearing. I would read it again. i lovec it.

1 person found this helpful

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One of the best books I have heard

This book had a good subject matter was written with great research care, and understanding. One of the best books I have read

1 person found this helpful

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Ok

I like the story I like the characters development and everything I just think it needs a bit more of added story line but it's a good listen.....

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beautiful

this story was so great it made me cry and laugh I really felt their pain. the way they found one another in the dark and then decided if they were going to be together they had to fix themselves apart. that their love showed them they were only living a half life.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 11-29-18

Eye opener

Listening to Michael Paisley introduction was interesting and appreciate him explaining about the story. When I first started listening to it, it became clear why he’d hard done so. As the book went on I cam to a point that I nearly stopped, but continued and thought the book was well written and of course love Michael Pauley’s narration well done