The Parent You Have

Navigating Your Relationship with a Difficult, Distant, or Estranged Parent to Reclaim Your Life

By: Whitney Goodman LMFT

The ultimate guide to grieving the parent you wanted, accepting the parent you have, and building (or ending) a relationship on your own terms, by the popular therapist known as @sitwithwhit

For too long, we were told “blood is thicker than water” and “family comes first.” A growing number of adults are setting those scripts down and asking themselves: what kind of relationship, if any, can I have with the parent I have today?

In this supportive, realistic, and authoritative guide, you’ll discover the insights and tools to let go of the fantasy of who you wish they were, accept who they are, and decide what kind of relationship is sustainable for you. Topics include:

• Deciding whether repair, an apology, or accountability is even possible
• What to say when a parent rejects your attempts to repair
• Managing the grief, guilt, and isolation that often come with a difficult, distant, or estranged relationship
• Breaking the cycle of generational harm, so you can show up differently for the people you love

Filled with illuminating stories, actionable advice, and ready-to-use scripts for even the trickiest scenarios, this is the roadmap for processing the past, accepting the present, and building the future you want.