This Is How Your Marriage Ends

A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships

By: Matthew Fray

Narrated by: Rob Shapiro

A thoughtful, down-to-earth, contemporary guide to help partners identify and address relationship-killing behavior patterns in their own lives.

Good people can be bad at relationships.

One night during his divorce, after one too many vodkas and a call with a phone-in-therapist who told him to “journal his feelings,” Matthew Fray started a blog. He needed to figure out how his ex-wife went from the eighteen-year-old college freshman who adored him to the angry woman who thought he was an asshole and left him. As he pieced together the story of his marriage and its end, Matthew began to realize a hard truth: even though he was a decent guy, he was a bad husband.

As he shared raw, uncomfortable, and darkly humorous first-person stories about the lessons he’d learned from his failed marriage, a peculiar thing happened. Matthew started to gain a following. In January 2016 a post he wrote—“She Divorced Me Because I left the Dishes by the Sink”—went viral and was read over four million times.

Filtered through the lens of his own surprising, life-changing experience and his years counseling couples, This Is How Your Marriage Ends exposes the root problem of so many relationships that go wrong. We simply haven’t been taught any of the necessary skills, Matthew explains. In fact, it is sometimes the assumption that we are acting on good intentions that causes us to alienate our partners and foment mistrust.

With the humorous, entertaining, and counterintuitive approach of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, and the practical insights of The 5 Love Languages, This is How Your Marriage Ends helps readers identify relationship-killing behavior patterns in their own lives, and offers solutions to break free from the cycles of dysfunction and destruction. It is must-read for every partner no matter what stage–beginning, middle, or even end—of your relationship.

Life changing

My husband and I listened to this “together” although separately over the course of a few weeks.. breaks were necessary bc how close to home it hit. I didn’t realize how to articulate things to my husband so he never truly u der stood until this author conveyed this things the way he could really hear it. Even though it’s mostly for directed toward men I believe women and any type of relationship can benefit from this book in a very profound way. You must be open and willing to be uncomfortable but it’s worth it. I’ve truly felt a shift in our marriage towards a lifetime of closeness and communication.

Read this while there is still time!

This book left me stunned numerous times. Not only because of the ability of the author to relate to my marriage but because it was like he was present in every argument my husband and I ever had for the past 10 years. It is absolutely amazing, and I wish it would have been available 5 years ago. I hope others read it before their marriage gets past the point of no return.

Phenomenal Read

Phenomenal hind sight at marriage from a divorcee. Eye opening, with some humor and science based facts. I absolutely love this book!

Must read

Everybody in a relationship should read especially men in Heteronormative partnership. Ideally before divorce thank you

A must read for All couples

Wow, could we make reading this a prerequisite before marriage. Hit the nail on the head. Each story I kept seeing similarity in my own relationship. Now I know I'm not crazy and someone sees it. I feel seen without ever actually meeting the author.

Amazing authenticity.

This is the most authentic and realistic view of most marriages, including mine. Unfortunately, I could see myself and my spouse in many parts of this book. I am hoping that I will take the practical pieces that I learned as well as the mindset necessary to not only have a marriage of coexisting, but one that thrives. Thank you for writing this book.

Wonderful book.

Great perspective. Great book. Highly recommend. It was nice hearing the man’s perspective on his marriage.

good but..

the ending was really confusing. I couldn't tell if he was really sad or not about hurting his wife? I almost recommended it to my spouse, but he'd ignore everything else and focus on that.

One of the most informative and real marriage books ever

This book was life changing. I have never identified more with a book in my life. Every married or going to be married couple and those who have divorced would greatly benefit from reading this engaging, gritty and emotional book. Five stars

Really insightful

I am so in love with this book. I feel so seen and feel as if this offers a clearer explanation of my feelings to others. Highly recommend to anyone. The author truly lends you a wonderful opportunity to gain empathy skills.