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B is for Bear: An Alphabet Book for Grown-Ups!
- The Alphabet Books Series, Book 2
- Narrated by: David S. Dear
- Length: 2 hrs and 7 mins
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Publisher's Summary
This ain't your grandma's fairy tale.
Jimmy DiFrenzo is the head of the Figarazzi family, one of the toughest mob families around. He loves his gabagool, his gold chains, and his chest hair. He lives in a nice suburban home with his adoring wife and child. The perfect, yet stereotypical, life of a Sicilian American. But he has secrets.
Blondie is a spoiled little rich girl who always gets her way. When her life becomes tedious, she begins a life of breaking into random homes. She never steals anything; she's in it for the excitement. All is going great, till she finds herself the wrong house.
"Someone’s been using my hair gel!"
"Someone’s been eating my gabagool!"
"Someone’s been sleeping on my couch! And there she is!"
Just who is this blond bitch who has broken into Jimmy’s home? Did she really pick the wrong house, or does she have a plan? Perhaps she has secrets, too.
Come witness this oh-so-wrong retelling of an old classic. Get it now.
Note: These audiobooks do not need to be heard in alphabetical order. Mix and match! Trade with friends!
More from the same
What listeners say about B is for Bear: An Alphabet Book for Grown-Ups!
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- DK
- 01-09-18
An Eccentric Twist on Goldilocks Tale
B is for Bear
An eccentric twist on Goldilocks and the 3 Bears. Only the main characters are of Sicilian descent. It kept my interest but I'm not sure that I will seek another 'an alphabet book for grown-ups!' Perhaps I would have appreciated it more if I had any idea what 'gabagool' is.
David S Dear gave a steady performance
*I was given this book in exchange for my unbiased opinion.
I read the reviews of others before I purchase a book. If you found my review helpful, would you please select "helpful" directly below this review? Consider 'following me on Audible. Authors and narrators, feel free to share my review on any other media you would like. It's all yours!
1 person found this helpful
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- Paul A. Luedecke
- 02-23-18
Everyone loves gagabool
What made the experience of listening to B is for Bear the most enjoyable?
A new take on the 3 bears, with a bored teenager and a lot of gagabool. Richard always provides an interesting take.
Any additional comments?
All of Marc Richard's books have an oddness to them that, if one is so inclined to the odd, is easy to appreciate, simply for the out there way he comes up with the tales. The narrator, David S. Dear, does a great job in keeping up the tongue-in-cheek absurdity of it all.
"I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review."
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- HockeyfanT
- 12-20-17
Funny and twisted
This was my first story from this author and narrator, and I really enjoyed it. Jimmy and Goldie were seriously twisted, but also strangely funny. Actually, I think all the characters were a little nuts. I did enjoy the ride though, and it was interesting waiting to see who would win in this strange battle that was going on. I'll try more from both the author and the narrator.
I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.
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- Heather North
- 12-18-17
Interesting listen
Goldilocks meets The Sopranos in this unique listen. Plenty of humor, a decent story, and interesting characters. The narrator did an amazing job! I received a free review copy of this audiobook at my request and I have voluntarily left this review.
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- Christian C.
- 12-13-17
Brief and amusing adult alphabet story!
Jimmy isn't much to look at, but he loves his chest hair! A large, hairy, Italian-American mobster, Jimmy is married to the Don's daughter. He dances in the nightclub that he owns as a front business. He also has a big, juicy secret that could get him killed if his mob family ever found him out.
Brief and amusing, ''B Is for Bear'' is a fun story for adults. It is the second installment in a series where each book represents a letter of the alphabet. But this is most certainly NOT a story for any child who can yet understand the English language.
David Dear's narration is great and adds that extra bit of funny to Marc Richards' already cheeky writing. Overall, I like it well enough to want to hear the other installments. So, pretty good!
I was provided a free copy of this audiobook in exchange for my unbiased review. Many thanks for this opportunity.
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- Eric Hunley
- 12-10-17
More of a West Hollywood Bear
This is a very funny, twisted spin on the fairy tale. Definitely written for adults and read with relish by David S. Dear. Definitely a fun diversion.
I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.
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- Catrina P
- 11-28-17
Not your kids Goldilocks!
This is an adult take on the story of Goldilocks and the three bears, mob style. There was a fair amount of adult language to go with the adult topics.
There were little twists and turns throughout and the injection of humor was a nice touch. David S. Dear delivered a great performance.
I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.
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- Emily
- 11-27-17
Crude
I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.
This was much better than A Is for Adam. It follows a mob version of Goldilocks, and it was pretty funny. There was a lot of swearing, it was quite crude but for the large part, it was funny.
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- Dee
- 11-26-17
Short and (darkly) sweet
This book is part of a series but this is my first listen. What a jolt to my ears (in a good way.)
The take (spoof?) on Goldilocks and the Three Bears was fun. Dark, but fun. You know the story so no sense in going into details but suffice it to say, the papa bear was a real 'bear." Wink, wink.
The narrator was good and very effective. You have to respect the talent of a man who can make this story twist work. All in all, totally worth the time.
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- Curly's Ramblings
- 11-16-17
Nice short story
B is for Bear is a dark, dry humored quirky, insane story as a modern day Goldilocks and the Three Bears mafia style. I laughed at some scenes and cringed at others. This is my first Book by Marc Richard and I will be checking out his other stories.
I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.
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- Mr Gobal Roamer
- 11-10-20
Not your average Goldilocks and the 3 bears.....
A very funny and rude story about Goldilocks and a Bear {not that kind of Bear, more the other kind# :-)}.
I finished this book in one sitting and didn't see the end coming! Very well written and put together!
If you like a story of the Mafia and #Big Hairy Men, give this a try, you won't be disappointed.
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Awfully long middle for such a short story
- By Phx17 on 07-29-22
By: Don Winslow
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The Land: Founding: A LitRPG Saga
- Chaos Seeds, Book 1
- By: Aleron Kong
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl
- Length: 9 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Tricked into a world of banished gods, demons, goblins, sprites and magic, Richter must learn to meet the perils of The Land and begin to forge his own kingdom. Actions have consequences across The Land, with powerful creatures and factions now hell-bent on Richter's destruction. Can Richter forge allegiances to survive this harsh and unforgiving world or will he fall to the dark denizens of this ancient and unforgiving realm? A tale to shake "The Land" itself, measuring 10/10 on the Richter scale, how will Richter's choices shape the future of The Land and all who reside in it?
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A bit cringy
- By Jeremy Schultz on 03-13-18
By: Aleron Kong
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Born a Crime
- Stories from a South African Childhood
- By: Trevor Noah
- Narrated by: Trevor Noah
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In this award-winning Audible Studios production, Trevor Noah tells his wild coming-of-age tale during the twilight of apartheid in South Africa. It’s a story that begins with his mother throwing him from a moving van to save him from a potentially fatal dispute with gangsters, then follows the budding comedian’s path to self-discovery through episodes both poignant and comical.
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Great book and perfect narration
- By Marilyn Armstrong on 12-15-16
By: Trevor Noah
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Space: 1969
- By: Bill Oakley
- Narrated by: Natasha Lyonne, full cast
- Length: 5 hrs and 35 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Nancy Kranich (played by Emmy-nominated actress Natasha Lyonne of Russian Doll and Orange Is the New Black) is a night nurse on an orbiting space station. But Nancy hates her job, is sick of space, and longs to find adventure and a safe place to smoke cigarettes that won’t blow everyone up. But when Nancy gets caught up in an outer-space conspiracy involving President Kennedy, former vice-president Richard Nixon, and an intergalactic object that could change the course of history, she gets way more adventure than she bargained for.
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Simply the Best Full-Cast Audio Book Ever!
- By Veritas on 07-09-22
By: Bill Oakley
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Monsters and How to Tame Them
- By: Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Monsters and How to Tame Them is Kevin’s most recent guide on how to live your best life, wrapped in his signature honesty, hilarious voice, and adept storytelling. You’ve heard stories about vampires, zombies, and ghosts. Now it’s time to meet some of the monsters that haunt your mind.
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Entertaining, not useful
- By Anonymous User on 09-18-22
By: Kevin Hart
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Nothing Like I Imagined
- (Except for Sometimes)
- By: Mindy Kaling
- Narrated by: Mindy Kaling
- Length: 2 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In these fresh and hilarious personal essays, Mindy Kaling gives the inside scoop on her new role as single mom, the perks of being her own husband, and how she deals with social anxiety even at the most glamorous A-list parties. In between, the beloved actress, writer, and Hollywood power-bruncher gets Kanye West’d at her best friend’s birthday, thwarts an “only in LA” crime, and learns what it means to have it all.
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Mindy is wonderful
- By Jen Kious on 10-12-20
By: Mindy Kaling
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The Heron
- By: Don Winslow
- Narrated by: Ed Harris
- Length: 1 hr and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
“The Heron” is the nickname a big-city accountant has attached to himself in his new home near San Diego, where he’s using the alias to avoid a hit man who may be after him. It seems a former client believes that The Heron has skipped town with several million dollars not his own. Don Winslow’s ensuing, entertaining yarn is by turns twisty, dark, and comical as we observe the delicate dance between the pursuer and the pursued.
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Awfully long middle for such a short story
- By Phx17 on 07-29-22
By: Don Winslow
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The Land: Founding: A LitRPG Saga
- Chaos Seeds, Book 1
- By: Aleron Kong
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl
- Length: 9 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Tricked into a world of banished gods, demons, goblins, sprites and magic, Richter must learn to meet the perils of The Land and begin to forge his own kingdom. Actions have consequences across The Land, with powerful creatures and factions now hell-bent on Richter's destruction. Can Richter forge allegiances to survive this harsh and unforgiving world or will he fall to the dark denizens of this ancient and unforgiving realm? A tale to shake "The Land" itself, measuring 10/10 on the Richter scale, how will Richter's choices shape the future of The Land and all who reside in it?
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A bit cringy
- By Jeremy Schultz on 03-13-18
By: Aleron Kong
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Neanderthal Seeks Human
- A Smart Romance, Knitting in the City, Volume 1
- By: Penny Reid
- Narrated by: Jennifer Grace
- Length: 14 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
After losing her boyfriend, apartment, and job in the same day, Janie Morris can't help wondering what new torment fate has in store. To her utter mortification, Quinn Sullivan- aka Sir McHotpants- witnesses it all then keeps turning up like a pair of shoes you lust after but can't afford. The last thing she expects is for Quinn - the focus of her slightly, albeit harmless, stalkerish tendencies - to make her an offer she can't refuse.
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Fun, funny and very entertaining
- By SIMARA on 11-21-17
By: Penny Reid
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Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Army of Golems
- An Unconventional Heroes Publisher's Pack
- By: L. G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Fred Berman
- Length: 13 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Timothy Walter Bolton - better known as Timmy - has spent most of his life as a necromancer. When he isn't terrorising his enemies, he's plotting inside his castle, which is built on top of lightless chasms filled with nameless horrors and beings of a generally malevolent and megalomaniacal nature. But after one of his latest creations, a zombie hydra-dragon-bear, tries to eat him, he decides that maybe it's time to find a new, less dangerous, career.
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Sound Editing Needed
- By Robert on 05-29-20
By: L. G. Estrella
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Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall
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Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
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Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
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Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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Please Like Me (But Keep Away)
- Nothing Like I Imagined
- By: Mindy Kaling
- Narrated by: Mindy Kaling
- Length: 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Yes, Mindy Kaling is the genial Hollywood celebrity who posted twelve selfies from a single Oscar party, but that smile took work. In this hilariously honest essay, Mindy reflects on the social anxiety that she traces back to the slices of white cheese her parents served at her ninth birthday party. Little has changed in thirty years--least of all the fear of being judged forever. It’s probably best to just back away.
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20 Minute Story
- By Nicole Wolfe on 06-16-21
By: Mindy Kaling
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Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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They just throw the facts too fast