Andrea Vernon and the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection

By: Alexander C. Kane

Narrated by: Bahni Turpin

Length: 8 hrs and 50 mins

Publisher's Summary

Think superheroes are tough? Try having one for a boss, or co-worker. That’s the predicament Andrea Vernon finds herself in as the heroine of Alexander C. Kane’s debut audiobook. Drowning in debt, and forced to move back into her parents’ Queens apartment, Andrea starts looking for a job. Luckily for her, she finds herself recruited—well, really kidnapped—by the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection (C.U.P.), an organization that deploys superheroes. Suddenly Andrea must contend with co-workers who can shoot lightning from their fingertips, face the imminent destruction of humanity, and juggle a fledgling romance with a giant lumberjack. It’s all in a day’s work for the would-be novelist turned superstar secretary.

Audible Hall of Fame narrator Bahni Turpin is perfectly cast as a normal person finding herself in abnormal circumstances. Turpin brings to life an entire cast of quirky characters, along with their heroically funny antics in the cubicle next door. If you’ve ever wondered what a genetically altered rhinoceros sounds like, or needed to take a break from your own office drudgery, this is the comedy for you.
 

©2017 Alexander C. Kane (P)2017 Audible Originals, LLC.

If Sharknado were a book...

If the movie Sharknado were an audio book, it would be this book. It is as if a group of 8 year old boys got together and wrote down every cool and awesome superhero idea they could think of and there was no one in the group to say "no, that's dumb", but instead they said "yeah, and let's give him hands made of diamonds!" or "he has a big axe, so let's name him The Big Axe!".

The narrator was pretty good, and I pity her for having to read this book at all, much less having to have her name publicly associated with it.

SouthPark + The Office with superheroes - but bad

I can get into oddball comedies about superheroes with quirky powers (The Sidekick Initiative, with superhero The Butterfly King), fresh takes on new genres (Second Hand Curses on fairy tale characters forming a Robin Hood style gang), and so wrong, but so funny fantasy that skewers races, genders, and religions without mercy (A Dirty Job, irreverently turning an average joe into a kind of clueless grim reaper). In sum, I can handle violence, sex, profanity, and off color humor... but only if done well.

This book was not done well. I made it three hours in before I gave up. This book is just an endless series of jokes about super heroes with random powers doing the daily office grind in competing corporations, strung together without meaningful plot or character development. Superhero, sex/anatomy, and accent gags - that’s it.

The tone is all over the place. It’s like the author got his ideas for superpowers by asking his five year old what would be cool (Bronx Bull, Kitchen Sink, Triple Brain) Then, the author goes to his teenager and asks about jokes, whereupon he receives the expected focus on bodily functions (a teleportation power with a diarrhea side effect) and Beavis & Butthead style anatomy/sex jokes (lots of references to the size of penises and things like “Donkey orgies”). Then the author goes to his wife, who urges him to be inclusive and woke, so he creates diversity with a diamond like alien Rabbi, an Asian Lightning Wong, etc.... but only succeeds in creating cringeworthy characters for the narrator to embrace with strong stereotyped accents (every time narrator says “ACHHMed” it’s like she’s going to cough up a hairball).

No depth whatsoever made this such a dull, forgettable listen that I regret paying for this ... even having purchased this super cheap.

Unexpected

I took a chance and was surprised . Enjoyed the book made a boring commute fun. Will try another by this author and venue.

A Normal Life in an Abnormal World

Andrea Vernon is an amusing spin on the super-hero genre. The humorous tale explores a perfectly normal office worker who must navigate the mundane world of her bureaucratic job in a company of super-powered government contractors. The story feels like The Incredibles or The Tick meets Office Space or Arrested Development. I found Andrea to be a strangely relatable character as I too have found myself thrown into a job I was ill-prepared for and forced to rise to the occasion. I would gladly recommend this book to anyone who is looking for a good laugh and and an enjoyable story.

“Men In Black” meets “Parks and Recreation”

'Andrea Vernon and the Corporation for Ultrahuman Protection' is your typical workplace satire. Typical, that is, if your workplace includes superheroes. You'll meet great characters like Rabbi Diamond (a diamond-skinned alien who crash landed on Earth as an infant and was adopted by an Orthodox Jewish couple), King Tiger (body of a man, head of a tiger, loves three-piece suits), and Inspector Well Actually (his super power is correcting people). It's equal parts corporate comedy, silly superhero puns, and an exciting adventure involving a giant glowing egg. I guarantee you will laugh out loud while listening!

This needs to be a tv series!

This book is entertaining and unique. The Office meets Justice league, set in New York. Bahni Turpin does an amazing job bringing each character to life.
This is a short book that made commuting way better!

I AM SO OVER SUPERHEROS....however

I am done with superheros and zombies, but I got this book due to one reviewer saying it was similar to Good Omens. Well, Good Omens it's not. I will shout for joy when I find another book like Good Omens. But it is a good book. The business side of superhero industry is very funny. I even LOL'd which is super rare for me. I have been on the hunt for books like this and Good Omens for a long time. I'm glad I found it, it's good.

Great Narration!

This was a really funny book & the narrator is everything! The end of the book would have been funny regardless of who was reading, but her voices just made the laughter bubble out of me.

Great Story

2 things that stand out for me.

1. I am not a sci-fi fan but the cover of this book caught my attention and I had to read it. I am so glad I did. Very funny story and it kept my interest. I cannot tell you how many times I was laughing out loud!

2. I was worried my attention span would not be good with an audible book. I am very happy to say this was not the case. Bahni Turpin does such a great job drawing you in to the characters and the story. She brought them all to life and that was so enjoyable! I feel like I know them all too well.

I look forward to getting this book in hardcopy and will tell others about this good read.

Poorly written teenage fan fic drivel

I have four hours left, and I'm giving up on this title. I can't fault the narrator; she's actually pretty good at keeping the character voices consistent. Although, I really had to speed her up because she reads far too slowly.

This is honestly what I think of the book: remember when you were a kid, and would come up with AMAZING superheroes that you thought Marvel and DC would buy off of you, but as an adult you found your childish drawings and ideas in a box and realise they were pure crap? This title is it.

This is trying to be in the vein of "Ready Player One", but in New York (of course, it just has to be NYC/Manhatten/the Bronx) and no video games. I'd much rather listen through "Ready Player One" (which, despite some issues, I overall enjoyed) again, than this junk.

Many comic book heroes these days have amazing stories and multiple layers to their personalities. C. U. P. 's heroes have all the personality of a blank sheet of paper. I can' t like any of them. I haven't even figured out the heroine's personality yet, and I'm on chapter twelve!

This is the Z-Team of superheroes. They are Marvel's and DC's long-removed, never spoken of cousins. The writing is very shoddy, and uninspired. It makes no sense. I don't know if this is supposed to be serious or satire, it's that bad. At least this was a "deal of the day", and I didn't waste a lot of money or a credit on it.

If you want juvenile humour, and pathetic superheroes, this is your book, or one for the kids. It's not mine.

A real gem!

I'd never heard of the author, or the reader, I just took a chance. And what a great find this was! It's a warm hearted, funny and cleverly written book, and Bahni Turpin's rich, versatile voice really enhances the fun. There's literally a cast of thousands in this, including feisty latino superheroes, a mechanical kitchen sink, alien invaders and an evil not-quite-genius. In the wrong hands this story could have been a train wreck, but this is a well choreographed comedy dance piece that will have your toes tapping.

Most of the comedy is character based, so it's good that the characters are so clearly defined, and easy to separate from their voices.
It takes a couple of minutes to pick up pace at the start, while all the unusual circumstances and characters are introduced, but then the plot is up and running, twisting and turning to eventually concludes with a breathless and bubbling climax. Great fun!