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Agnes and the Hitman
- Narrated by: Sandra Burr
- Length: 12 hrs and 6 mins
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- By Janie on 03-24-06
Publisher's summary
Agnes Crandall's life goes awry when a dognapper invades her kitchen one night, seriously hampering her attempts to put on a wedding that she's staked her entire net worth on. Then a hero climbs through her bedroom window. His name is Shane - no last name, just Shane - and he has his own problems: He's got a big hit scheduled, a rival trying to take him out, and an ex-mobster uncle asking him to protect some little kid named Agnes. When he finds out that Agnes isn't so little, that his uncle has forgotten to mention a missing five million bucks he might have lost in Agnes' house, and that his last hit was a miss, Shane's life isn't looking so good, either. Then a bunch of lowlifes come looking for the money, a string of hitmen show up for Agnes, and some wedding guests gather with the intent to throw more than rice. Agnes and Shane have their hands full with greed, florists, treachery, flamingos, mayhem, mothers of the bride, and - most dangerous of all - each other.
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Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Sharon11675
- 12-29-10
Ditzy Agnes?
I've recently become a fan of Jennifer Crusie and I think the "Hitman" book is a nice addition to her list of titles. The book itself seems to be a lot of fun; the characters are a little stereotypical but it's fitting for the genre and entertaining nonetheless. My biggest problem with the book was the narrator. The Cranky Agnes character could be a lot of fun for a narrator to read and this could have been one of those books that enhances the writing with a great narration. But to me it sounded like the narrator was going for a Marilyn Monroe-esque voice for Agnes that, in my opinion, did not fit with the descriptions, dialogue or character. The other characters talked at times about their fear of Agnes when she is angry, but the little breathy Marilyn voice just didn't strike fear into my heart. I didn't hear Cranky Agnes, I heard Ditzy Agnes.
I agree with other reviewers that the echo chamber effect used when characters are thinking is annoying and unnecessary, plus very difficult to hear. A good narrator is generally able to distinguish thinking from dialogue with vocal inflections and I have almost never found myself confused as to what is a thought versus dialogue in other audiobooks. It's still a good book, and it's still a fun listen, but I think it could have been a lot more with some different choices on the part of the narrator and producer.
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29 people found this helpful
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- Courtney
- 03-30-14
DNF! Really echo chamber sound effect?
Any additional comments?
This review is solely based on the audio production. What production team in the right mind would put an echo chamber sound effect for Agnes' internal dialogue? Do they really think the listeners are too dense to figure out when she is speaking out-loud and when she is in her head?
The narrator seemed ok but I was too distracted to give an honest assessment. I've read/listened to Cruise's other books and they were great so I may just get this on Kindle at some point
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23 people found this helpful
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- Jennifer C Neil
- 09-20-11
Fun Story, Irritating Narration
Crusie and Mayer have written a fun action-romance book with compelling characters. Unfortunately, this audio production is annoying. While Sandra Burr does a credible job switching between characters, her vocal performance as Agnes gives the character an almost lightweight presence, which made me take her less seriously as a heroine. More irritating are the echo effects applied to the characters' interior thoughts. I usually walk while listening to audiobooks, and I found the echo was difficult to hear unless I had the volume turned way up, which then made the main body of the piece too loud to hear anything else.
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21 people found this helpful
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- S.Palmer
- 09-09-11
Terrible production
I'm about a third of the way through this and am not sure I'll finish it. The narration is horrible, although it's not necessarily the narrator's fault. The author uses lots of "asides" given in the characters' thoughts, and the director or producer of this book decided to use a "canned" effect to differentiate the thoughts from the general narration. These asides have a "canned" sound, and are recorded at a much lower volume than the rest of the narration. If I don't turn the volume way up (so it then blasts my eardrums when regular narration resumes), I can't hear them, so I feel as if I'm missing half of the book. This is so disruptive that I've tuned out a lot of what I've been trying to listen to. The main character has imagined conversations with her psychiatrist in addition to other asides, but I can't understand what is being said in any of these parts because of the "special" effects. Whoever controlled these effects did a real disservice to the author, the narrator, and the listener. I generally like Jennifer Crusie books, but I don't know whether I'll finish this one. Thumbs down!!
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20 people found this helpful
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- Bonnie
- 08-14-10
Love Jennifer Crusie But
The story was fun and enjoyable EXCEPT that there are many times the characters are thinking, and the narration is in an echo chamber. It is very hard to understand what they are saying (thinking) I have hearing problems and it was even hard with my noise canceling head phones. If you are going to make a character think, try a whisper, not an echo chamber. I know I missed a lot because of this, that is why only 3 stars. It wasn't the narrators it was the production.
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- Judy
- 08-01-08
So funny!
This book had great characters and was laugh-out-loud funny! If you like comedy with a splash of mystery and romance, you won't regret this purchase.
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16 people found this helpful
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- ShySusan
- 05-24-12
Neither funny nor well written
I can't believe the people who are writing reviews of this mess saying how funny it is. It is like a roadrunner cartoon where the roadrunner is blowing the coyote up, dropping anvils on his head, pushing him off cliffs, and this is supposed to be funny because the coyote is only a cartoon and he's never actually hurt anyway. But in this story, it goes along trying to be a light, amusing romance, and then suddenly, somebody is dead and there is blood on the floor. Then it switches back to trying to be a frothy romance again. And I'm not just talking about one body. At the point where I shut this stupid book up, the body count was up to four.
Jennifer Crusie, in her early days, wrote some of my favorite romances of all time. But for some incredible reason she has agreed to write with this Bob Mayer guy and they have turned out nothing worth reading as far as I can tell. Mayer seems to want to write spy-thrillers of the type where you have a cold-blooded government man fighting the forces of evil. So each of them writes part of the book, and they do not mesh. We have a few paragraphs of light comedy romance, and then a few paragraphs of cliched special agent man. Then it's back to the light comedy again.
And the "hero" is anything but. He tells the "heroine" that he is a hitman. If some man told me that he killed people for money, I'd wait till he left the house and then lock the doors before I called the police. But apparently our heroine thinks it's okay to take money for killing. That's more of the mixed up message in this book. Many of the people in this book have mob connections. This is treated as if it were amusing, but it kind of falls flat when you have innocent bakers and florists being threatened with death at the hands of the mob.
And the heroine is absolutely embarrassing when it comes to her issues about being alone. Some women do end up alone, and they stand up straight and carry on with life. But this jellyfish of a woman is willing to be the sometime plaything of a hitman if only she doesn't have be be alone. Get a spine woman.
Well, I have plenty more I'd like to complain about, but you don't want to read a review that's as long as the book, so I'll stop. But I REALLY don't recommend this book. If you want some good Jennifer Crusie, get something she has written without the dubious help of Bob Mayer.
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11 people found this helpful
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- Helen
- 07-08-10
Funny!
Cranky Agnes is a great character! I enjoyed the way JC and BM wove serious issues with humor and dysfunction...in a more-polite-pulp-fiction-y kind of way. The settings were great and the dialogue was very funny. The only thing that bothered me was the "thinking in their minds" recorded sound effect. It was distracting but by half way through the book it didn't bother me as much. Easy read with a smile on your face.
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6 people found this helpful
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- Beverly A. Fremming
- 01-07-09
my bad day fall back book
this is a book that you have to read or listen to when you are alone . you are laughing so much it looks a little funny. the book has a great story line and is just plain fun.
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- Nancy
- 01-03-09
HILARIOUS, GREAT READ !
I have just discovered Jennifer Crusie's books and can't get enough of them. "Agnes and the Hitman" is hilarious. I found it hard at first to get used to the narrator when the sound was in an echo chamber, but soon learned to love it. People around me think I must have "lost it", because I walk around laughing out loud. I want more and more of Jennifer Crusie!
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- Leigh UK
- 08-15-23
So darned good!
This might be the 3rd time I've listened to this book, and I laughed my head off every time. The characters draw you in, the plot hooks you. The narration was absolutely fantastic. This is what happens when great books meet great narrators - a real gem. The 2nd book is out, please get the same narrator to do it!
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- Mrs. C. Hunt
- 01-06-22
Agnes and the Hitman
This is a funny laugh out loud love story, where an innocent writer get swindled our of her dreams by the people she thought of a family. Until the human is called in. Read brilliantly by Sandra Burr.
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By: Jennifer Crusie
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Anyone But You
- By: Jennifer Crusie
- Narrated by: Susan Ericksen
- Length: 5 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Ignoring her insistent best friend, some interfering do-gooders, and the ubiquitous dog Fred - not to mention her suddenly raging hormones - 40-year-old Nina thinks anyone but Alex would be a better bet for a relationship. But the more silver-haired stiffs she dates, the more she suspects it's the young dog-loving doctor she wants to sit and stay!
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Jennifer Crusie knows how to have fun
- By Bonnie on 09-30-08
By: Jennifer Crusie
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What the Lady Wants
- By: Jennifer Crusie
- Narrated by: Lola Holiday
- Length: 7 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Mitch Peabody was learning pretty fast that the life of a private detective was nothing like the movies. He’d envisioned a world of tough-talking detectives and smart-mouthed, stunning dames. Instead he saw case after case of cheating husbands, suspicious wives and unsuspecting mistresses…until she walked through the door.
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Story cute, narrator...so-so
- By LeftyMom on 04-02-10
By: Jennifer Crusie
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Wild Ride
- By: Jennifer Crusie, Bob Mayer
- Narrated by: Angela Dawe
- Length: 12 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Mary Alice Brannigan doesn’t believe in the supernatural. Nor does she expect to find that Dreamland, the decaying amusement park she’s been hired to restore, is a prison for the five Untouchables, the most powerful demons in the history of the world. Plus, there’s a guy she’s falling hard for, and there’s something about him that’s not quite right.
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Please -No more paranormal stuff
- By S. Schmidt on 05-26-10
By: Jennifer Crusie, and others
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Fast Women
- By: Jennifer Crusie
- Narrated by: Sandra Burr
- Length: 13 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Nell Dysart's in trouble. Her divorce is 18 months old, she's been sleepwalking through life, and the best job she can get is with a detective agency that specializes in relationship work. Determined to turn her life around, Nell flings herself into making McKenna Investigations a better place.
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Great romance, good wit, and more than it seems
- By Barbara Kindle Customer on 08-02-08
By: Jennifer Crusie
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Bet Me
- By: Jennifer Crusie
- Narrated by: Deanna Hurst
- Length: 12 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Min Dobbs knows that happily-ever-after is a fairy tale, especially with a man who asked her to dinner to win a bet. Cal Morrisey knows commitment is impossible, especially with a woman as cranky as Min Dobbs. When they say good-bye at the end of their evening, they cut their losses and agree never to see each other again. But Fate has other plans.
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My favorite Crusie book. Wonderfully witty lines.
- By Jane on 06-12-17
By: Jennifer Crusie
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Manhunting
- By: Jennifer Crusie
- Narrated by: Renée Raudman
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Kate Svenson is attractive, successful, a brilliant businesswoman - and miserable. After three failed engagements, she realizes it's time for a PLAN...an organized, detailed agenda with a clear goal: finding Mr. Right.
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A MUST BUY
- By Nancy on 01-08-09
By: Jennifer Crusie
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Anyone But You
- By: Jennifer Crusie
- Narrated by: Susan Ericksen
- Length: 5 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ignoring her insistent best friend, some interfering do-gooders, and the ubiquitous dog Fred - not to mention her suddenly raging hormones - 40-year-old Nina thinks anyone but Alex would be a better bet for a relationship. But the more silver-haired stiffs she dates, the more she suspects it's the young dog-loving doctor she wants to sit and stay!
-
-
Jennifer Crusie knows how to have fun
- By Bonnie on 09-30-08
By: Jennifer Crusie
-
What the Lady Wants
- By: Jennifer Crusie
- Narrated by: Lola Holiday
- Length: 7 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Mitch Peabody was learning pretty fast that the life of a private detective was nothing like the movies. He’d envisioned a world of tough-talking detectives and smart-mouthed, stunning dames. Instead he saw case after case of cheating husbands, suspicious wives and unsuspecting mistresses…until she walked through the door.
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Story cute, narrator...so-so
- By LeftyMom on 04-02-10
By: Jennifer Crusie
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Getting Rid of Bradley
- By: Jennifer Crusie
- Narrated by: Elenna Stauffer
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Lucy Savage is not having a good week. Her cheating husband, Bradley, lobbed the final insult when he stood her up in divorce court. A dye job gone wrong has left her hair green. And someone is trying to kill her. To top it off, sexy cop Zack Warren is certain that the very same man Lucy is trying to wash right out of her hair is the same Bradley he wants to arrest for embezzlement. When someone shoots at her and then her car blows up, Zack decides she needs 24-hour police protection.
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give me a different voice!
- By murboyd on 10-13-07
By: Jennifer Crusie
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Trust Me on This
- By: Jennifer Crusie
- Narrated by: Angela Dawe
- Length: 5 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Dennie Banks is an investigative reporter chasing down the biggest story of her career. Alec Prentice is a government agent working undercover to catch an elusive grifter. When they meet by accident, it’s a case of mistaken identities at first sight. What they don’t mistake is the instant attraction they have for each other, an attraction they’ll do everything in their power to resist - because Dennie thinks that Alec is running interference for her interview subject, and Alec suspects that Dennie is linked to his swindler. As the confusion grows, so do their feelings for each other....
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Love Crusie and Dawe -
- By BuffyF on 12-16-12
By: Jennifer Crusie
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Coffee at Luke's
- An Unauthorized Gilmore Girls Gabfest
- By: Jennifer Crusie, Leah Wilson
- Narrated by: Colby Elliott
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In the fall of 2000, Gilmore Girls premiered on the WB, and viewers were introduced to the quirky world of Stars Hollow and the Gilmores who had made it their home, mother-daughter best friends Lorelai and Rory. Coffee at Luke's is the perfect look at what made the show such a clever, beloved part of the television landscape for so long.
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By Women, About Women, Computerized Male Narrator
- By James M. Patton on 02-12-18
By: Jennifer Crusie, and others
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Strange Bedpersons
- By: Jennifer Crusie
- Narrated by: Madison Vaughn
- Length: 7 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Tess Newhart knows her ex-boyfriend, Nick Jamieson, isn't the right guy for her. He's caviar and champagne; she's take-out Chinese pot stickers. He's an uptight Republican lawyer; she was raised in a commune and thinks Cinderella is politically incorrect. He wants to get ahead in business; she just wants him - only not the social-climbing Nick, but the sweet, caring, unbuttoned-down Nick.
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I'm sorry!
- By Kelley on 09-14-09
By: Jennifer Crusie
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Charlie All Night
- By: Jennifer Crusie
- Narrated by: Sandra Caldwell
- Length: 7 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Dumped by her boyfriend and demoted from WBBB's prime-time spot, radio producer Allie McGuffey has nowhere to go but up. She plans to make her comeback by turning temporary DJ Charlie Tenniel into a household name. And if he's willing to help cure her breakup blues with a rebound fling, that's an added bonus.
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One-Note Narration
- By Kesha on 06-04-11
By: Jennifer Crusie
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Maybe This Time
- By: Jennifer Crusie
- Narrated by: Angela Dawe
- Length: 10 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Andie tries to gain closure with her ex-husband, he asks one final favor of her. A distant cousin has died and left North the guardian of two orphans. When Andie meets the two children, she realizes the situation is much worse than she feared. Carter and Alice aren’t your average delinquents, and the creepy old house where they live is being run by the worst housekeeper since Mrs. Danvers. Complicating matters is Andie’s fiancé’s suspicion that this is all a plan by North to get Andie back.
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Loved It!!!
- By Donna Thomas on 09-03-10
By: Jennifer Crusie