Practical tools to manage stress, set boundaries, and stay sober during the most overwhelming time of year.

In this episode, we’re talking about why the holiday season is such a perfect storm for stress, exhaustion, and relapse risk — and what actually helps you stay grounded, calm, and sober when everything feels like too much.

This isn’t about “just don’t drink” or powering through with willpower.

It’s about planning ahead, setting real boundaries, managing your energy, and protecting your sobriety like it actually matters — because it does.

These tools are timeless and incredibly relevant right now — especially as we head into the final stretch of the year.

HERE ARE THE 3 KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE:

1️⃣ Holiday Stress Isn’t the Problem — Lack of Planning Is

The holidays don’t sneak up on us. They come at the same time every year. When you plan ahead — for your schedule, your energy, and your triggers — you dramatically reduce overwhelm and vulnerability.

2️⃣ Boundaries Are a Sobriety Tool, Not a Personality Flaw

Boundaries around time, conversations, commitments, and how long you stay at events aren’t selfish — they’re how you stay regulated, present, and sober when stress is high.

3️⃣ Rest, Connection, and Support Are Non-Negotiable

Sleep deprivation, emotional exhaustion, and isolation make cravings louder. Staying connected to your sober support and refueling your energy keeps you strong when willpower runs out.

We’re days away from Christmas. If your energy is low and your stress is high, that doesn’t mean you’re failing — it means it’s time to slow down, simplify, and protect what matters most.

Take what you learn today and use it. Planning, boundaries, rest, and connection aren’t optional extras. They’re how sobriety lasts.

Links Mentioned in This Episode:

👉 Dry January Bootcamp
If you’re done white-knuckling your way through the holidays and into January, Bootcamp gives you structure, support, and a clear plan to protect your sobriety and start the new year strong.

👉 Book a Call
If you want personalized support and clarity on next steps, book a call to talk through your options.

👉 Join the Free Facebook Group
Connect with others who get it — support, encouragement, and real conversations about sobriety.

If you’re a high-functioning drinker waiting for rock bottom to give you permission to quit, this episode will change everything.

Most people think rock bottom is an external event—a DUI, job loss, or divorce. But that’s not what rock bottom actually is, and this misunderstanding is keeping you stuck in a cycle that never ends.

In this episode, I break down the real meaning of rock bottom and why waiting for external proof is preventing you from taking action on what you already know.

You’ll learn why comparing your life to other people’s disasters keeps you drinking longer, what to listen for in recovery meetings (hint: it’s not the external details), and why the question “Do I really need to quit?” is actually your answer.

What You’ll Learn:

• Why high-functioning drinkers misunderstand rock bottom and how it keeps them stuck
• The “I’m not that bad” fallacy and why comparing external circumstances is the wrong measuring stick
• What rock bottom actually is (internal, not external) and why it changes everything
• How to recognize rock bottom moments before they become major disasters
• Why people who don’t have a drinking problem never wonder if they need to quit
• The real reason your brain keeps offering alcohol as a solution when things get uncomfortable
• How lowering the bar and rationalizing red flags keeps the cycle going
• Why you don’t need to wait for things to get worse to make a change

Key Takeaways:

Rock bottom is internal, not external. It’s not about what happens to you—it’s about the moment you realize you can’t live like this anymore, even if your life still looks good from the outside.

You’re comparing the wrong things. When you compare your life to other people’s disasters, you’ll always feel like you’re “not that bad.” But when you compare your internal experience—the exhaustion, the mental gymnastics, the constant negotiation with yourself—that’s when you recognize the real problem.

External events don’t create clarity—they force action. Most dramatic rock bottom moments are years in the making. There are a million smaller red flags that get rationalized away before the big event happens. You don’t have to wait for the big event.

If you’re asking the question, that’s your answer. People without drinking problems never wonder if they need to quit. They don’t think about alcohol constantly, plan their days around it, or spend energy managing and moderating it. If you’re here listening to this, you already know.

Episode Highlights:

[00:12] The common misunderstanding about rock bottom that keeps high-functioning drinkers stuck

[02:00] Why “I’m not that bad” only works if rock bottom is external (spoiler: it’s not)

[05:50] The AA meeting trap: comparing external details instead of internal feelings

[09:33] What rock bottom actually is: internal, emotional, and the moment you realize you can’t live like this anymore

[11:00] My two-year rock bottom and why I waited so long to take action

[14:42] If you want to wait until things get worse, they will (and here’s what that looks like)

[16:30] The small red flags we rationalize away that lead to bigger disasters

[17:50] A client’s rock bottom moment: choosing a drink over playing with his son

[19:19] Why asking “Do I really need to quit?” is actually your answer

[21:31] The takeaway: You already know. Stop waiting for permission.

🔗 Links Mentioned in This Episode

💥 Dry January Bootcamp (Free!)

Get structure, support, and a clear plan to start your alcohol-free life with power.
👉 addictionunlimited.com/bootcamp

🎯 Book a Private Call

Ready to stop screwing around and get real results? Let’s talk.
👉 addictionunlimited.com/call

🧣 Cozy Earth – My Favorite Gift to Give (and Receive!)

Bedding + loungewear that calms and elevates your space.
Use code ANGELA
👉 cozyearth.com

Here’s something nobody tells you about long-term sobriety: your brain doesn’t forget its relationship with alcohol just because you stop drinking.

After 19+ years sober, I can still walk into a restaurant and automatically glance at the bar. I can spend 10 minutes with my best friend analyzing five drinks in a hotel cooler. I notice who’s drinking at parties when my non-alcoholic mom never does.

And that’s exactly how I know – even after almost two decades – that I still can’t drink.

In this episode, I’m breaking down the ONE thing that tells you with 100% certainty whether you can drink again after sobriety. Spoiler: it’s not about time. It’s not about willpower. It’s about how much mental real estate alcohol still occupies in your brain.

What You’ll Discover:

The “mind space test” – how aware are you of alcohol even when you’re not drinking?

Why “normal” drinkers never think about alcohol (and why you can’t stop)

How alcohol becomes your higher power without you realizing it

Real stories from my own journey – including that champagne bottle I saved to celebrate 30 days sober (yep, I did that)

The difference between your brain and a non-alcoholic brain – and why it matters more than sobriety time

Why the fact that you’re even asking “can I drink again?” is actually your answer

The Bottom Line:

Non-alcoholic people don’t wonder if they drink too much. They don’t count down to their next drink. They don’t notice the bar when they walk into restaurants. They don’t plan their social lives around alcohol availability.

If you’re still hyperaware of alcohol – whether that’s craving it, avoiding it, or constantly thinking about it – your relationship hasn’t changed. Time doesn’t fix this. Only honesty with yourself does.

Struggling with the starts and stops?

Book a free call with Angela to explore your options (not a free coaching session, but a real conversation about what might help): addictionunlimited.com/call

Connect:

• Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/addictionunlimited
• Instagram: @addictionunlimited