People-pleasing isn’t a personality flaw—often it’s a nervous-system strategy. Licensed Professional Counselor and ADHD-CCSP Anita Sandoval joins Eric to unpack how the fawn response shows up with ADHD, trauma, and RSD; how it differs from masking and conflict avoidance; and what real change looks like. We cover Anita’s “Empower → Resilient → Authentic” model, ADHD-friendly EMDR adaptations, and the messy-but-worth-it work of boundaries (including with narcissistic family dynamics).
Resources, Anita’s links, and a quick survey about a potential evening coaching group are in the full notes at ADHDreWired.com.

Guest: Anita Sandoval, LPC-S, EMDR-Certified, ADHD-CCSP — therapist, supervisor, and author of Broken Chains (English & Spanish). Host of Empowering Women in Conversations and creator of Empower Her Pathways.

We cover:

• People-pleasing as a neuro-adaptive response (fight/flight/freeze/fawn)

• People-pleasing vs. conflict avoidance vs. masking

• ADHD & RSD: why “neutral” feedback stings and how regulation shifts it

• Differentiating from personality disorders (dependent/BPD)

• Hypervigilance, ACEs, and emotional regulation circuits

• Boundaries with narcissistic dynamics (including the “victim narcissist” pattern)

• Anita’s staged model (Stages of Change × grief work): Unaware → Aware → Ready → Action → Maintenance → Integration (Empowered → Resilient → Authentic)

• Therapies that help ADHD brains: EMDR with resourcing, IFS/parts work, polyvagal-informed regulation

• Eric’s EMDR story: from trigger spirals to co-regulation

Try this:
Notice your next automatic “yes.” Ask: Is this aligned with my values, or is my nervous system chasing safety? Then practice one tiny boundary this week and track before/during/after.

Resources mentioned:

• Anita Sandoval — anitasandoval.com (course: Empower Her Pathways)

• Broken Chains (English/Spanish)

• Dr. Ramani’s work on narcissism (Should I Stay or Should I Go?)

• Modalities: EMDR, IFS/Parts, Polyvagal-informed approaches

Coaching & community:

• Evening Coaching Group — interest survey
  We’re exploring a fall evening section (proposed Wed, Sept 18 • 5pm PT / 8pm ET) led by ADHD reWired Coach & LCSW Kristin Marts, at a budget-friendly rate (starting at $999) if we move forward. Deadline to weigh in: Aug 15. Take the short survey at www.coachingrewired.com.
  Complete the survey to enter to win 6 months free in our Alumni community ($240 value) or 1 year free of Adult Study Hall ($240 value).

• Adult Study Hall (ASH) — virtual co-working & body doubling. Free 1-week trial, then $19.99/mo or $150/yr at www.adultstudyhall.com.

Connect with Anita: www.anitasandoval.com | Podcast: Empowering Women in Conversations

What is OCD, really? It’s far more than the stereotypes of handwashing, tapping, or lining up your pens just right. On today’s episode, Eric is joined by Natalia Aíza — a therapist, parent, writer, and co-founder of Kairos Wellness Collective — who specializes in supporting individuals and families navigating OCD and anxiety. Together, they explore how OCD can show up in less obvious ways, especially for those with ADHD.

You’ll hear:

✅ Why OCD is often missed or misdiagnosed in ADHD brains
✅ How intense nostalgia, perfectionism, and social media checking can all be forms of OCD
✅ The difference between typical anxiety and OCD
✅ Why intrusive thoughts don’t define you
✅ How exposure response prevention (ERP) and medication can help
✅ Eric’s own reflections on healing unexpected layers through EMDR and discovering his autism

If you’ve ever felt stuck in mental loops, struggled with perfectionism, or wondered whether your patterns might be more than “just” ADHD, this episode is for you.

Learn more about Natalia Aiza and Kairos Wellness Collective:
👉 Instagram: @letstalk.ocd
👉 Kairos Wellness Collective: kairoswellnesscollective.com
👉 Email: natalia@kairoswellnesscollective.com

Ready to take the next step with your ADHD?
Don't miss our second 2nd chance Registration Event for the summer ADHD reWired Coaching & Accountability Groups on Thrusday, July 10. Visit coachingrewired.com to learn more and secure your spot.

Support Comes from ADHD reWIred's Coaching and Accountability Groups. Summer Sessions are July 24 - Sept 18. Join us at our next registration event on July 10th. Learn more by going to www.coachingrewired.com

Episode Overview:
In this episode, Eric is joined by Ari Tuckman, PSY.D, MBA, psychologist, international presenter, and author of the new "ADHD Productivity Manual." Together, they dive deep into the realities of productivity for people with ADHD, exploring motivation, activation, self-compassion, and practical strategies for getting things done.

Key Topics Discussed:

• The difference between motivation and activation, and why both matter for ADHD brains
• How perfectionism and unrealistic expectations can sabotage progress
• The importance of understanding your "why" for each task, not just the "what"
• Social aspects of productivity: people-pleasing, setting boundaries, and communicating when you can’t meet a deadline
• Real-world strategies and creative hacks from Ari, Eric, and their clients (including timers, accountability, and engineering urgency)
• The value of celebrating small wins and tracking progress over time
• Self-compassion and letting go of impossible standards
• How to build systems that work for your unique brain, not just follow generic advice

Guest Bio:
Dr. Ari Tuckman is a leading ADHD expert, psychologist, and author of five books, including the "ADHD Productivity Manual." He brings decades of clinical experience and a practical, compassionate approach to helping people thrive with ADHD.

Resources & Links:

• Learn more about Ari and his books: adultadhdbook.com
• Join ADHD reWired Coaching & Accountability Groups: coachingrewired.com
• Check out Adult Study Hall for virtual coworking: adultstudyhall.com

Support the Show:

• Become a patron for bonus content and monthly coaching calls: adhdrewired.com/patreon
• Sign up for the newsletter and get episode resources: adhdrewired.com

Takeaway:
You’re not broken, and you don’t have to do hard things the hardest way or alone. Progress is possible—one step, one system, and one act of self-compassion at a time.

Thanks for listening!