Funny Dragon

“Before I can begin my tale, you need to know about the king's panties.” So begins the epic adventure of 14-year-old Nigel, digger of latrines, shoveler of poop, and the single greatest threat to all the humans, elves, and halflings of Esteria. Nigel needs to escape from military school. Who can blame him? After all, the king just declared war on the gorks, and he's pretty sure his latrine-digging skills aren't going to be much good on the front lines.

There are rules about owning a dragon. Don’t tell your parents. Don’t feed it cereal. And definitely don’t take it to Show-and-Tell. When a sarcastic, snack-loving kid finds a fire-breathing best friend named Flamey in his backyard, his life gets toasted—in the best possible way. But when Flamey mysteriously vanishes, what follows is a laugh-out-loud, marshmallow-melting mystery across secret tunnels, donut guilds, sewer traps, and a town that just doesn’t believe in dragons. Yet. Packed with heart, humor, friendship, and more flaming burps than anyone requested, Hey, Who Stole My...

When you offer therapy to monsters, it’s wise to keep a sword handy. Master swordsman Logan Snow thought trading epic quests for a cozy counseling center would be his happily-ever-after. After all, when you delve into a giant’s dark past or advise an ogre with anger issues, what could go wrong? When a letter arrives bearing the grim news that Logan’s old mentor has been captured by a powerful warlock and imprisoned in his citadel, he must dust off his sword and attempt a desperate rescue. He rallies a group of unlikely heroes including Tressa, an alluring and deadly magician, and ...

Fairy is a unicorn. Now, that’s not so strange. But her powerful farts, please avoid at close range. Her farts are a burst of pink rainbow dust. But run away fast, if she lets one bust. Share this farting tale with loved ones. Adults are permitted to laugh, too.

A pet dragon, dangerous magic, and two hot guys...and that's just book 1! This boxed set contains all three novels in the Quarter Witch Chronicles series, including Dragons are a Girl's Best Friend, While the Dragon's Away, and A Good Dragon is Hard to Find. Description from Book 1: On the outside, Ruby’s a normal college student. On the inside? She’s something else completely. Magic runs through her veins, tempting her to use it, but Ruby isn’t sure how to control her new powers…until Ty, a dangerously handsome man from another world, spots her and identifies her as a witch. He ...

Prophecy claims the apocalypse is neigh. To prevent a cataclysm, agents from all six factions converge on Gacestone to destroy the Chaos Core and kill its Founder. Meanwhile, in a struggle for potential life-saving power, Seth and his party turn to an ancient structure lying deep beneath the Chaos Dungeon, which doesn't let their expedition go unnoticed. See whether the new Chaos faction thrives or collapses under the pressure of Chaos Overwhelming.

New middle school? Scary. Falling into a world of dragons and dark magic? Terrifying. Twin siblings Kyle and Kenzie thought starting a new middle school was their biggest problem until a mysterious, golden dragon yanked them through a portal into a realm filled with mythical beasts, skeletal soldiers, and wand-wielding witches. Stranded in a dangerous world where magic rules and nothing is as it seems, the twins join forces with a tiny dragon who’s lost his magic, and an ex-assassin with a haunted past. Their mission? Stop a power-hungry necromancer, survive an army of undead, and somehow...

Seth is down for the count. A strange artifact from another era has surfaced to contest Ace's claim to the elemental battlefield. Tensions rise between factions and the potential of a great calamity lies just around every turn. Life and death hang in the balance in Chaos Incarnate.

Anything that lives devours or is devoured itself. The fractured factions seek strength in the face of rising global instability while the gluttonous Chaos Dungeon begins its conquest of the Elemental Battlefield. With a veritable buffet of advancement for the taking, Ace strives to hit Platinum before a mysterious threat reaches his Core. Witness the struggles of those left standing after the jaws of death snap shut in Chaos Devouring.

Don’t be like Ciara, a twelve-year-old girl living in the tiny village of Skael. When she used a spell from within this book, she ended up summoning a dragon. A DRAGON! Those things breathe fire! From their mouths! She’s obviously doomed. And don’t listen if Ciara tells you that dragons won’t hurt humans, and that they even once taught us magic, a thousand years ago. Definitely don’t pay any attention to the fact that the dragon she summoned, Scorch, might be willing to help rescue Ciara’s mother and free her village from the Emperor and his Warden, because it’s all obviously a big lie.

He will need more than bravery to survive what’s coming. Doomed to fight the Dark King, Stone must find the path to save every living soul from the ferocious dark dragons. Together with his friends: Ceres, rambunctious and shrewd, Adler; snide and courageous, and Corvaire; of the legendary knights of Darakan, they must find the new powerful sorceresses— the Majestic Wilds. But they’ll have to be quick— for the warring kings will surely be after them soon. Not to mention King Arken Shadowborn and his own monstrous dragon. Will they be able to find these new Majestic Wilds in time? ...

Ten years ago, Lang chose his family, his lineage and his bloodline over his heart. Not a day has gone by since that he hasn’t regretted it. Now it’s time to put the past in the past and claim his mate. This time, Lang will let nothing get in his way. A decade ago, Muddy watched, horrified, as the man who stole her virginity and her heart chose another woman. Now, he thinks he can come waltzing back into her life? No effin’ way. NOTE: In the late 1800s, on a homestead in New Mexico, Helen Cartwright was widowed under mysterious circumstances. Knowing there was power in the feminine ...

Wars above and below the Elemental Battlefield erupt in clashes of Dungeon Cores and Titans. Ace and Seth, both desperately clawing for more power in the face of instability, grow their influence over Gracestone and its inhabitants. Explore the treasures and terrors set free in Chaos Untethered.

Wolf shifter Holt Monroe has a big decision to make. Retire from the military, or re-enlist? When he meets his sister’s best friend, sassy little Sonnie Chaplan, Holt craves every inch of her milky skin and luscious curves. After succumbing to one night of passion, Sonnie swears it will never happen again. But, as soon as Holt learns she’s carrying his baby, he’ll move hell and high water to make her his. NOTE: In the late 1800s, on a homestead in New Mexico, Helen Cartwright was widowed under mysterious circumstances. Knowing there was power in the feminine bonds of sisterhood, Helen...

Welcome to Calvin, Pudge & Blaze: The Great Dragon Getaway — a laugh-out-loud, heart-warming adventure about a boy, his loyal beagle, and a baby dragon who can’t help getting into mischief. When Blaze decides he’s big enough to explore the world on his own, Calvin and Pudge have no choice but to race after him before curiosity — and the occasional puff of fire — turns their peaceful village upside down. Packed with gentle humor, clever twists, and lessons about courage, teamwork, and self-control, this story invites readers to discover that even the smallest hero can make a big ...

Fort Fitzgerald can’t stop having nightmares about the day his father was taken from him in an attack on Washington, DC. In these dreams, an Old One, an evil beyond comprehension, demands the location of the last dragon. But other than some dragon skeletons dug up with the books of magic on Discovery Day, Fort has never seen a dragon before. Could there still be one left alive? And weirdly, Fort’s not the only one at the Oppenheimer School having these nightmares. His new roommate, Gabriel, seems to know more than he’s letting on about this dragon as well.

A young, 300 year old fashion conscious Japanese dragon believes he is the last dragon left alive after years of unwarranted persecution of the species. He befriends a young boy and through enlightening conversations and humorous mishaps, a unique bond emerges between the two. Alas his wayward dragonly ways mean that very soon the subject of abuse torment and the entire military come after him. Will he survive to further the existence of these magnificent and humerous creatures? This is a fun-loving, witty story about finding friendship in the oddest of places and a joy to youngsters up to ...

In 1972, the Red Bozos were the friendliest faces in frenetic Midlands Amusement Park. Flash forward four and a half decades: Midlands is a ghost park. Closed long ago and nearly forgotten, even by the locals, it sits shrouded in undergrowth and hill-topping forest surrounded by upscale new homes. Ringed with a decaying fence, hidden from sight, it presents a huge temptation to a group of bored, thrill-seeking youths who are about to learn that terror is, in fact, immortal.

Sweet, shy librarian Ginny has a problem. Whenever passion strikes, so do the weeping, wailing voices in her head. Being half banshee, she’s already run screaming from the underworld and her female relatives, believing love will find a way with patience and faith on planet Earth. The trouble is, humans just aren’t man enough, and every time Ginny shows interest in a male, she makes him bleed. It’s going to take more than just a simple human being to get past Ginny’s defenses. Matthew, “The Dane,” fullback for the New York Chameleons, knows the moment he meets the little fireball...

Magic can solve all your problems. At least, that’s what Ruby would have said a year ago, before she learned she was a witch. Now, all magic does is create more problems. There’s a giant tear in the fabric between the non-magical world Ruby lives in and the magical one her boyfriend is from. Every time Ruby uses her powers, the tear grows larger. The only way to stop the magical world from swallowing up Ruby’s home is to journey into the unknown forests of the other realm that contain frightening creatures such as acid frogs, poison moths, and banshees that terrify you at night. And ...