Pirate Funny

In Pirate Jokes Aren't Funny, leadership strategist David Pettrone Swalve exposes the cost of performative leadership and reveals how authenticity has become the most valuable advantage in today's Quantum Workforce Era. A biracial adoptee from the rural Midwest, Pettrone Swalve learned early how systems reward sameness and silence difference. From the discipline of West Point to the boardrooms of Fortune 500 companies, his journey from outsider to architect forged the Authentara Blueprint™—an eight-part system that turns identity into action and presence into measurable impact.

A planet-killing dreadnought is coming, and Jack has decided to take that personally. The rebellion has won Diesl’Haal. Unfortunately, the Hegemony has noticed. To punish the planet, the empire sends the Judicator: six kilometers of armored death, built to turn rebellious worlds into glass. Against it stand three rebel frigates, a battered resistance, and Jack, an overarmed combat android with terrible social skills, dangerous plans, and a growing attachment to the humans he was built to kill. Evacuation might save the rebels. Surrender might buy a few hours. Neither will save two billion...

Pirates of the Caribbean meets The Mummy in Vengeance of the Pirate Queen, a new standalone YA fantasy romance, set in the world of Tricia Levenseller's Daughter of the Pirate King. As an assassin working for the pirate queen, 18-year-old Sorinda is surprised when Alosa’s next task for her is...

Grind the Void (Jax Dart, Space Bastard – Book 2) A Queer Sci-Fi Comedy About Space Drugs, Bad Decisions, and Pirates Gone Wrong Jax Dart swore she’d given up making terrible decisions. Then came the Stardust. Now, the galaxy’s most dysfunctional crew is back aboard the Lucky Bastard—broke, bruised, and one bad contract away from total annihilation. When a mysterious new drug called Stardust hits the black market, turning spacers into gods and corpses in equal measure, Jax and her crew of outlaws, aliens, and ex-cons are the unlucky bastards hired to move it. But nothing in the void...

There will be plenty of time for me to beat him soundly once I've gotten what I came for. Sent on a mission to retrieve an ancient hidden map—the key to a legendary treasure trove—seventeen-year-old pirate captain Alosa deliberately allows herself to be captured by her enemies, giving her...

A prim lady. A scandalous pirate. A high-seas seduction that could sink them both. Lady Priscilla Worthington has spent her life buttoned up—poised, polished, and promised to a man she can’t stand. But when her carriage is hijacked and she’s taken aboard the infamous Crimson Corsair, she finds herself in the clutches of Captain Rogelio Velmontaine—a rogue with a wicked grin, a silver tongue, and absolutely no sense of decency. Storm-tossed and scandal-bound, Priscilla is drawn into a world of rum-soaked revelry, moonlit danger, and pleasures she never dared imagine. But as desire ...

"A skillful narration of this story, especially its humor, makes this a fun and enjoyable performance" —AudioFile on Can't Spell Treason Without Tea Bookshops & Bonedust meets Our Flag Means Death in this cozy fantasy on the low seas, where lesbian pirates find out if enemies actually can...

"Marisa Calin's delivery of this audiobook is superbly executed...The enticing voice she gives Alosa will enrapture listeners and draw them deeper into the story's twists and turns." — AudioFile Magazine The capable, confident, and occasionally ruthless heroine of Daughter of the Pirate King...

Read the bestselling books that inspired the hit movie sensation! When Hiccup finds a coffin at sea, he opens it to discover a riddle that will lead to the treasure of Grimbeard the Ghastly, the world's greatest pirate and Hiccup's ancestor. So Hiccup and his friends set out on a treasure hunt...

A bright, fast-paced pirate adventure for young readers. Kai has always believed the horizon is a door. When his first journey carries him from Starter Island to jungle paths, tricky thieves, rowdy monkeys, and sunburned desert ruins, he learns that becoming a pirate is not just about treasure. It is about courage, promises, and choosing the kind of captain he wants to be. Thieves, Monkeys, and Deserts: The First Pirate's Journey is a playful adventure story with island quests, boss battles, maps, ships, and a brave kid chasing a dream.

Two beautiful Southern cities. One haunted, hilarious road trip. Charleston and Savannah may look polite at first glance, with pastel houses, mossy squares, church steeples, riverfront views, and enough historic charm to make your camera beg for mercy. But look a little closer and the charm starts acting suspicious. The mansions have secrets. The cemeteries have fan clubs. The ghost tours are booked solid. The cobblestones are trying to break your ankles. And somewhere between the pirate lore, old jails, haunted theaters, graveyard angels, and gas-station boiled peanuts, you begin to ...

When Addi and her friends board a cruise going a slightly different route, they're prepared for trouble. But not this much trouble. First, they're attacked by pirates. Then, they have to work with a new, unknown crew. And then - there's a murder. Now, it's up to Addi and her friends to find a killer on board their ship, before they strike again... Praise for A.R. Winters: "The perfect balance of being lighthearted, but still a serious page-turning mystery." - Jaycie D, Amazon.com "A fun cozy mystery with engaging and entertaining characters" - lq, Amazon.com "For fans of Janet Evanovich, ...

In a world where your child is brimming with excitement about tomorrow's adventures, winding down at the end of the day can pose a unique challenge. This collection of bedtime stories and guided audio meditations is designed to help children of all ages unwind deeply and prepare for a restful sleep.

In the tradition of Blow and Another Bullshit Night in Suck City, The Last Pirate is a vivid, haunting and often hilarious memoir recounting the life of Big Tony, a family man who joined the biggest pot ring of the Reagan era and exploded his life in the process. Three decades later, his son...

Ben Roberts hears voices…alien voices. When word of his abilities spreads through the galactic grapevine, Ben ranks number one on an A.I.’s most wanted list to become their cybernated slave. A bleak prospect, but what if they offered him everything he ever dreamed of in exchange? A...

Can the worst pirate ever win the Pirate of the Year Award…? Mum is making me take part in the stupid Pirate of the Year Award. All I have to do is fight an enormous sea monster, (doom), beat my oh-so-brilliant brother at something (please please please) and find the legendary treasure that no...

I thought saving the galaxy four times was enough. Turns out, the galaxy disagreed. When a ruthless fleet of intergalactic space pirates storms the Dominion’s trade routes, Alex and the crew of the Starflare find themselves in the middle of a war they never asked for—again. Their mission: stop the biggest pirate armada in the quadrant before it burns half the galaxy to ash. Outgunned, outnumbered, and low on snacks, Alex, Lucy, Joey, and the rest of the crew have to pull off their most insane plan yet. Between malfunctioning tech, questionable alliances, and a pirate queen with a ...

Who knew babysitting an alien would be so hard? Ben and the crew have set course for an alien planet, but the inhabitants are far from what they expected. They have answers that could get their baby Viraquin home but Ben isn’t sure he’s willing to pay the price for the well guarded secret...

Girls, guys, robots, teleportation; spaceships, space battles, space pirates plus a deeper understanding of Tarzan's thought process when he first met another human being – it’s all mashed-up, along with just the right amount of humor and wit, and served with a liberal amount of alcohol throughout the Small Universe series. Teleport This is a fast-paced, science fiction adventure without the extra heavy baggage found in hardcore space operas or the ultra-wackiness found in satirical sci-fi novels. The story starts off in a contemporary Earth setting, add in a couple guys and a girl, ...

Unstoppable husband and wife team Sam and Remi Fargo face off against an obsessive millionaire hunting for a lost treasure in this adventure in the #1 New York Times-bestselling series When husband and wife treasure hunters Sam and Remi Fargo try something new, a relaxing vacation, a detour to...