Diary of a Doofus

5th grade is tough. Good thing I’ve got the Pencil of Power.

So my weird Uncle Fred gave me a pencil and a boring notebook for my birthday.

Thanks for the thrill ride, Fred.

But then something insane happened: I drew a dragon eating my math homework, and later that day… my teacher screamed and sent me to the hallway.

Coincidence?
I think not.

Now I’m 92% sure the pencil is magic. Either that, or I’m slowly losing my mind. (Also possible.)

I’ve drawn exploding bullies, giant chickens, and a superhero named Captain Doofus (spoiler alert: he looks exactly like me, just with a cape and slightly better hair). But it turns out having “power” doesn’t fix everything. Especially when you lose the pencil and try to replace it with a stick of string cheese.

Don’t ask.

This is the Diary of a Doofus, aka me, Jeffy Thompson. I’m eleven, a fifth-grade overthinker, and currently being hunted by a goldfish I’m 98% sure is plotting world domination.

If you’ve ever been bullied, embarrassed, or hit in the face with a dodgeball, welcome to the club. And don’t worry. Even if your life feels like a disaster burrito, you’ve got more power than you think.

Especially with a pencil.
(Probably.)