The warm weather has always been a trigger for me. The first sniff, just a tiny little bit of sunshine and I want to go to the pub where I'd happily sit in a beer garden all day. Smoking and eating endless bags of nuts and of course, enjoying several pints of crisp cold beer. Or whatever takes my fancy that day.

But today, I was strong and I said no, it's 11am for fucks sake! Go home and get some work done!

Why is one never enough? 

I've never been the sort of person who can open a bottle of wine and not finish it. I don't buy one beer at the pub and just go home. I'm just not built like that!

I love red wine. I really do. I like red wine more than I like most of my family. Red wine has been supporting me through thick and thin for many years now but I'm beginning to think that change might be needed. 

Why?

When I drink the lovely red I also, pretty much every single time, smoke a lot and eat mountains of crisps. And in the morning my mouth feels pretty disgusting. I don't want to live like that anymore!

But I love it.

I have a long list of reasons why I drink, or when I can drink. Someone dies.  A birth. A slightly shitter day than usual. Because it's ironing day! How about you? What's your excuse or do you not care? If you drink when you want whenever you want I just want you to know, I think you're great! I wish I was so free!

We all have our lockdown stories don't we? Some had to relearn their timetables again and pretend to care about their kid's home learning. Some adults got fat. Some got fit. And many, just like me starting drinking sparkling wine before lunch while munching endless amounts of crisps and dippy things! 

Fleetwood Mac played on repeat. Showering was for losers.

But things had to change. The kids were turning feral and my relationship with The Wife was going down the drain!

And I started to think, Why Do I Always Drink? Why has this constant companion always been there? Then I started to ask other people about their drinking habits and now I'm on a journey of discovery. 

This is not about judging your or my own drinking habits. It's not about right or wrong. I'm just trying to understand my relationship with alcohol and I would like to communicate with other like-minded potential pisspots! Or not. It's also important to hear from the non-drinkers. Whatever your reasons. 

There's one question that I've been asking that has caused quite a stir... if someone offered you a million pounds but you had to stop drinking alcohol, could you do it?

It's not as straightforward as you might think.