When Our Adult Children Walk Away Podcast Por Dr. Janet Steinkamp EdD arte de portada

When Our Adult Children Walk Away

When Our Adult Children Walk Away

De: Dr. Janet Steinkamp EdD
Escúchala gratis

My story. Reflecting my experiences, observations and perspective - in my words.

In the early spring of 2019, under the coercive influence of her abusive gatekeeper partner, in the heart of the global pandemic and after several years of trying to sort through our erratic relationship, my (young) adult daughter made the heartbreaking choice to cut all communication with our family.

I understand now that for a very long time, through her high school and college years, she tried to get her messages across to me. I recall instances when she asked me to listen, pay attention, and understand her better, to accept her evolving boundaries, to recognize her as an emerging adult, and to adjust my communication style to be more respectful of her emerging adulthood. She needed and expected a change in our relationship, in our boundaries, and in my recognition of her as a young woman. I didn't take her seriously and didn't listen to learn. I listened to respond, explain and convince.

It took many months after she went no-contact for me to cycle through my grief. Like you, I experienced disbelief, anger and hopelessness before I could begin to recognize and accept my role in the reality of our circumstances. Even then, as I began to take responsibility for my contributions, my pain, confusion and hopelessness were often overwhelming.

As difficult as it is to admit. I've come to accept that my contributions to our fractured relationship played a substantial role in her vulnerability to the charm of a narcissist. In her case, he was also her supervisor. The inherent power differential, her desire to please her boss, and her need for income positioned her perfectly to be manipulated and controlled. Eventually, she succumbed to his advances, and the rest is history.

Today, I humbly and gratefully report that my daughter, our family and I have reconnected. My daughter found her voice and the inner strength to leave a toxic and dangerous relationship, pack up her children, and return to our family. After extensive therapy and with strong family support, Brianna (she prefers Bri) often consults with me as I coach estranged parents and adult children who want to understand their circumstances and embrace their new emerging self-awareness.

My name is Dr. Janet Steinkamp, and the reason for this podcast is simple. During the long, dark hours of my isolation and desperation, I decided to use my education and professional (and personal) experience to help people struggling to understand their communication style, interpersonal behavior and estrangement circumstances. I now coach people through their darkest hours, isolation, and desperation to find hope and look toward the future, to grow despite and because of their estrangement, and find strategies that help them prepare to repair their relationship.

When you are ready to walk through the hot coals of self-reflection toward self-discovery - to prepare for repair - I'm here to walk alongside you. In each episode of the When Our Adult Children Walk Away podcast, we explore topics relevant to all who hope to reconnect with an estranged adult child or who are estranged from their parents. The material in each episode relates explicitly to the messy and exhausting fresh hell of estrangement.

When Our Adult Children Walk Away podcast, blog, interviews, group conversations, and 1:1 coaching are at your fingertips. Though I can't promise reconnection, I can and will help you find clarity, purpose and strength as you prepare for opportunities to reconnect. WOACWA offers a judgment-free space to face and explore the unbearable.

© 2025 When Our Adult Children Walk Away Ciencias Sociales Crianza y Familias Desarrollo Personal Relaciones Éxito Personal
Episodios
  • How Do You vs Your Adult Child - Decide Whether to Attend Social Events on High Risk Days?

    How Do You vs Your Adult Child - Decide Whether to Attend Social Events on High Risk Days?
    Aug 17 2025

    Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.

    Join me as I walk you through the challenges and some solutions when you need to respond to invitations scheduled on or related to high-risk days. So often, these events include your adult child. So what then?!

    How do our adult children decide whether to attend family events, annual festivities where you'll be present, etc?

    In this episode, I provide a decision-making process to help you choose whether to attend high-risk social events.

    What happens when a social invitation coincides with a high-risk day during estrangement? What should a parent do?

    Think through this challenging decision: why we might feel pressure to attend, how adult children are also navigating similar questions, and when choosing to attend—or decline—might be the healthiest path.

    Past episodes referenced in this conversation:

    • Cracking the Busy Body Code: Managing Your Message
    • Friendly Advocate or Flying Monkey? (Short)

    Support the show

    For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair!

    The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

    The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.
    Más Menos
    22 m
  • Navigating Awkward Questions About Your Estrangement: Kindly Setting Boundaries

    Navigating Awkward Questions About Your Estrangement: Kindly Setting Boundaries
    Aug 10 2025

    Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.

    When estrangement is part of your life, even small talk can feel fraught.

    In this episode, I help parents prepare and practice responses for when people — from close friends to casual acquaintances — ask about their adult children or grandchildren.

    Practice, practice, practice. Thoughtful, intentional responses to questions about our estrangement circumstances can preserve privacy, reduce gossip, and keep the door open for future reconciliation.

    By responding with positivity, honesty and gratitude, all parties concerned can feel they've done their part to support us, to show concern, and we feel like we're keeping the light on.

    When a busybody comes with questions, we handle them differently. To learn more about managing busy bodies without causing conflict or increasing their curiousity check out the episode titiled Cracking the Busy Body Code: Managing Your Message

    Episodes referenced in this episode:

    Cracking the Busy Body Code: Managing Your Message

    Support the show

    For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair!

    The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

    The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.
    Más Menos
    12 m
  • 5 Common Mistakes Therapists Make When Working With Us - Estranged Parents

    5 Common Mistakes Therapists Make When Working With Us - Estranged Parents
    Jul 13 2025

    Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.

    If you’re an estranged parent working with a therapist—or thinking about it—this episode is a must-listen. In this episode, I walk listeners through five common mistakes therapists make when working with us, the estranged parents. From unfair blame to giving advice, therapists who are not familiar with familial estrangement may actually worsen the situation. I offer insights to help you recognize red flags and get the most beneficial and effective therapeutic services to assist you in navigating your estranged relationship. Grab your notebook and your favorite chair, and let’s dig into this important topic together.

    Support the show

    For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair!

    The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

    The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.
    Más Menos
    13 m
Todavía no hay opiniones