Aiming to stop conflict nearly broke us; learning to create peace brought us back. That’s the arc we explore with our guest, Graceilah Coolidge—born in Iowa, raised in Venezuela through coups and shutdowns, trained in nonproliferation, and recruited into intelligence after 9/11. The work was high‑stakes and mission‑driven, until a harsh realization landed: data doesn’t always drive decisions when agendas are in play. When that worldview cracked, she didn’t double down on noise; she went to the redwoods.

We talk about forest immersion as a practical, grounded practice: days in nature with water, warmth, and no distractions; fasting that quiets the body; stillness that lets memory and meaning surface. Senses sharpen. Awe returns. Priorities reorder. And because belonging is medicine, the process is held in community so reintegration is real, not just a peak moment. We dig into why fear spreads so easily in a media economy, how data addiction can bankrupt attention, and why presence—not more information—is the antidote. Santa Cruz becomes a character in this story: a place of radical expression and prickly borders, contradictions and care, redwoods and neighborhood kindness that keep us rooted as the town keeps changing.

We also get practical about civic agency. Voting won’t hand us peace, but it’s one lever that keeps space open for peace to grow. If America is a promise to keep trying, we renew that promise by showing up: in the booth, under the trees, with our neighbors. Come for the intelligence-to-intuition pivot; stay for the tools—fasting, attention, community—that make peace a daily practice. If you’re ready to trade doomscrolling for presence and find a more resilient way to live, press play, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help more listeners find the show.

What does it truly mean to coach youth sports in today's hyper-competitive world? In this candid conversation, host Michael "Coach Powers" Howard sits down with Little League coaches Matt Kuhn and Frank Schonig to unpack the beautiful mess that is youth baseball in Santa Cruz County.

The trio begins by sharing their uniquely Santa Cruz upbringings – from Frank's "mountain boy" childhood with dirt bike tracks and paintball courses on 10 acres of redwoods to Matt's journey from Ben Lomond to Live Oak. Their stories capture a freedom and independence that shaped their coaching philosophies years later. Neither planned to become baseball coaches, but as Frank puts it, they were "the last assholes standing" when volunteers were needed. What started as a way to spend time with their sons evolved into something much deeper.

At the heart of their coaching approach is a revolutionary idea: winning matters, but it's not everything. "Culture is the behavior that is acceptable for the team," Matt explains as they discuss building environments where kids feel safe to fail. Frank, drawing from his firefighter background, teaches players to focus on "controllables" – attitude and effort – while developing the "goldfish mentality" to quickly move past mistakes. Together with their coaching pod, they've created a space where practices feel like birthday parties, complete with sing-alongs and dancing, yet still produce championship teams.

The coaches don't shy away from tough topics, confronting the ego that drives all coaches while acknowledging that success can be measured in different ways – not just by wins and losses, but by whether kids return the following season and leave games happy regardless of the score. Their mission extends beyond developing athletes to raising "good humans" who will strengthen their community.

For parents considering coaching, their message is clear: don't be intimidated by lack of experience. Everyone brings different strengths, and coaching doesn't have to be done alone. The rewards – seeing young people develop determination, grit, and meaningful connections – far outweigh the challenges.

Ready to rethink your approach to youth sports? Listen now and discover how three ordinary guys created extraordinary experiences for kids through baseball.

Ever wonder what it's like to grow up inside "a bubble within a bubble"? Neil Sprenkel takes us into the unique world of Capitola, California—where neighborhoods feel like sanctuaries and surf spots become territories with unwritten rules that shape young lives in profound ways.

When his parents divorced during his seventh grade year, Neil found himself drawn deeper into surfing—not just as a sport, but as therapy. "I would go underwater and scream until I felt that energy leave my body," he reveals, describing how the ocean became his sanctuary during emotional turmoil. This raw confession opens the door to a broader truth: "Half of surfers surf because of trauma," Neil observes. Not that they choose surfing because of trauma, but they discover its healing qualities and can't let go.

The conversation takes a remarkable turn as Neil shares his deliberate journey toward mental health through a year of sobriety and silence. "I wanted my behavior to be true and intentional," he explains, detailing how therapy helped him break down emotional barriers built since childhood. Through this process, he discovered what genuine joy feels like—perhaps for the first time—and now wakes up energized even without an alarm clock. "I think I'm happy," he tells his girlfriend, almost surprised by the realization.

Both Neil and host Michael Howard explore how their relationship with surfing has evolved from competitive identity to something more peaceful and intentional. Their shared experiences reveal how confronting wounds, embracing silence, and practicing presence can transform not just our relationship with sports like surfing, but with ourselves and everyone around us.

Have you been seeking clarity in your own life? Or wondering how to break free from patterns that no longer serve you? This conversation might just be the nudge you need to dive beneath the surface of your own story. Subscribe now and join us for more authentic conversations that explore the true impact of Santa Cruz culture on the people who call it home.

Have you ever looked in the mirror and suddenly realized you've been playing a role in your own life? After mysteriously disappearing for five months, I'm finally breaking the silence to share the profound revelation that stopped me in my tracks.

What began as a celebratory moment—watching my podcast metrics climb after a wonderful interview with Natalie—transformed into an existential crisis during what should have been a dream surf trip to Chile. Picture this: perfect left breaks (heaven for a goofy-footer like me), no responsibilities, just freedom and waves. Yet there I was, sitting on an isolated beach, watching my friend surf without me, confronting the uncomfortable truth that many of the pursuits I'd dedicated my life to weren't authentically mine. "I don't know if I've ever really been a surfer either," I found myself thinking, as I realized how much external validation had shaped my identity.

This podcast began as a way to process revelations I experienced through AA and shadow work—deep personal inventory that exposed the gap between who I thought I was and who I actually am. The interviews became a way to celebrate the remarkable "normal" people in Santa Cruz while practicing genuine connection. But somewhere along the way, I fell into the trap of valuing metrics over meaningful exchange, becoming an impostor to myself.

The depression that had temporarily lifted returned, but this time with clarity about its source. I discovered a "ghost in the machine"—a part of me seeking relevance through screen-based validation despite my authentic self wanting no such attention. It took months of sitting with this uncomfortable truth before I could speak about it honestly.

I'm sharing this vulnerable journey not to lecture but to reconnect with what matters: genuine human connection in a world where we've "become too busy to relate." My hope is that these conversations inspire you to grab coffee with someone you've been meaning to connect with, to practice the increasingly rare art of being fully present with another person. Because ultimately, the only thing that matters isn't download numbers or audience growth—it's the authentic moments we create together.

A quiet retail revolution is unfolding in Santa Cruz, and Natalie Wegrich of Toasted Jewelry stands at its forefront. From the mountains of Scotts Valley to the beaches of Pleasure Point, Natalie's entrepreneurial journey captures the essence of what makes our coastal community special—authenticity, craftsmanship, and an unapologetic pursuit of happiness.

With the tick-tick-tick of hammers in her workshop, Natalie and her team of eight women create affordable, high-quality jewelry that captures the beachy essence of Santa Cruz. Using gold-filled and sterling silver adorned with pearls, turquoise, and shells, Toasted Jewelry has grown from a YouTube-learned passion project into a thriving business with two retail locations. This expansion flies in the face of conventional wisdom about brick-and-mortar retail's demise, suggesting instead that something powerful happens when makers connect directly with their community.

The conversation delves into the transformation of 41st Avenue, where female entrepreneurs are creating a new business culture built on collaboration rather than competition. "There's truly enough to go around for everybody," Natalie shares, emphasizing the importance of staying in your lane while supporting those around you. Her perspective gained profound depth after facing breast cancer shortly after signing the lease for her first store—a challenge that crystallized her commitment to finding joy in each day and letting go of what doesn't matter.

Throughout the episode, Natalie's infectious optimism illuminates how personal values translate into business success. From bootstrapping every step of the way to creating a workplace where craftsmanship and happiness coexist, she exemplifies how authentic entrepreneurship can thrive even in challenging retail environments. Visit Toasted Jewelry on the westside or in Pleasure Point to experience firsthand how handcrafted pieces and genuine connection are creating a new kind of retail experience in Santa Cruz.

The beautiful, coastal paradise of Santa Cruz, California hides a complex reality beneath its postcard-perfect veneer. In this raw conversation, longtime local Brady Muller pulls back the curtain on what it truly means to call this tourist destination home – especially when you're watching it transform before your eyes.

Brady's story weaves through the neighborhoods of his youth – from the "jewel box" near the beach to the developments behind the mall – painting a picture of a community that has always valued athleticism, but now increasingly values wealth above all else. "It's hard to see people that grew up here that can't afford to live here," Brady reflects, having recently been forced to relocate to Watsonville after 13 years in the same Santa Cruz rental when his landlord passed away.

The conversation takes an unexpected turn as Brady opens up about his struggles with depression and self-worth. Despite being a gifted athlete, respected builder, and jiu-jitsu black belt, Brady battles persistent feelings of inadequacy – a sentiment shared by many men who feel unable to meet the escalating demands of living in such a high-stakes environment. His candid admission that "I've had thoughts of suicide many times" shatters the illusion that those who appear successful are immune to mental health challenges.

What emerges as Brady's salvation is surprisingly multifaceted: the unwavering love for his two sons, the physical and mental release he finds in jiu-jitsu, and his journey toward forgiveness – particularly of his absent father. "I can't force people to love me or be in my life," he shares, describing the healing that began when he reconnected with his father, primarily so his children could know their grandfather.

For anyone who has felt the crushing weight of not measuring up – whether in paradise or elsewhere – Brady's story offers both comfort in shared struggle and practical wisdom for moving forward. His experience reminds us that communities are built on connections, not comparisons, and that sometimes the most important perspective is the one that others have of us, not the one we have of ourselves.

What happens when four men from the Santa Cruz surf community strip away their tough exteriors and speak honestly about depression? This raw, powerful conversation breaks new ground as host Michael Howard and guests Jack Akrop, Neal Kearney, and Nick Borelli share their personal journeys through mental health struggles.

Michael opens with his story of battling depression since age 12, masking sadness with anger, and creating an identity as "the nice angry guy" in the lineup - a strategy that worked until his mid-40s when he could no longer outrun his demons. Jack reveals his experiences with bipolar disorder, describing the shame of not feeling grateful despite living in paradise and how helping others through coaching provides purpose. Neal shares how chronic physical pain led to depression and substance abuse, eventually finding healthier ways to manage both. Nick recounts feeling like a misfit since childhood and using alcohol to feel comfortable in his own skin.

The conversation dives deep into how traditional schooling affects boys' mental health, father-son relationships that shaped their sense of self, and the daily challenges of simply getting out of bed when depression hits. What emerges is a toolkit of strategies these men use to navigate dark days: service to others, exercise, nature immersion, and accepting "funky days" rather than fighting them.

Perhaps most striking is how these men - part of a surf culture often defined by competition and toughness - demonstrate the healing power of vulnerability. Their honesty creates a blueprint for authentic male friendship and community support that goes far beyond the water's edge. For anyone struggling with depression or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers both comfort in shared experience and practical approaches to finding light in the darkness.

What happens when a chef decides to break away from the late-night restaurant grind and bring high-quality, seasonal food directly to the people? For Cam Meyers, it meant creating Melrose Cafe, a "parking lot restaurant" that's transforming the Santa Cruz farmers' market scene one focaccia sandwich at a time.

Growing up in Santa Cruz's midtown neighborhood, Cam's culinary journey took her from local restaurant kitchens to the remote wilderness of Alaska, where she spent three years as executive chef at an eco-lodge accessible only by boat. There, faced with limited ingredients, she began perfecting her focaccia recipe – now the foundation of her thriving business back home.

The magic of Melrose Cafe lies in its radical simplicity and unwavering commitment to seasonal eating. Each Wednesday, Cam hand-selects ingredients from local farmers, transforms them into house-made aiolis and pestos on Thursday, mixes up to 150 pounds of dough by hand on Friday night, and rises at 4am to bake everything fresh before market. The result? Sandwiches so good that couples drive from Campbell every weekend just to get them, with lines forming before they're even set up.

Beyond creating delicious food, Cam represents a new generation of food entrepreneurs finding innovative paths between high-end restaurants and fast food. By eliminating the overhead of a brick-and-mortar while maintaining chef-driven quality, she's made truly local, seasonal eating accessible in a way that traditional restaurants often can't. When Cam says "you can buy everything in our sandwich right here at the market," she's not just sharing her sourcing philosophy – she's inviting customers into a more connected food experience.

Experience Melrose Cafe at the West Side Market (Saturdays) and Live Oak Market (Sundays) from 9am-1pm. Just don't ask when the tomato sandwich is coming back – you'll have to wait until they're perfectly in season, and that's exactly as it should be.